Disclaimer

If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.



Sunday, May 28, 2017

4 Days left in Countdown May

The I’m just sayin… Top 2,982 Movies of All-Time Countdown


70 Superman
Richard Donner
Marlon Brando, Gene Hackman, Christopher Reeve, Margot Kidder, Jackie Cooper, Ned Beatty, Valerie Perrine, Glenn Ford
1978

69 42
Brian Helgeland
Harrison Ford, Chadwick Boseman, Christopher Meloni, Ryan Merriman, Andre Holland, Kelley Jakle, Brad Beyer, Toby Huss, T. R. Knight, Alan Tudyk, Hamish Linklater, John C. McGinley, Lucas Black, Nicole Beharie, C. J. Nitkowski, Brett Cullen
2013

68 Wedding Crashers
David Dobkin
Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, Christopher Walken, Rachel McAdams, Jane Seymour, Bradley Cooper
2005
Jeremy Grey: "Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseye".

Jeremy Grey: "Listen, I'm getting married".
John Beckwith [points at the door]: "Get out".

Chazz Reinhold: "HEY MOM! CAN WE GET SOME MEATLOAF?"

Flip: "Yeah! Crabcakes and Football. That's what Maryland does!"

67 Ocean's Eleven
Steven Soderbergh
George Clooney, Matt Damon, Brad Pitt, Andy García, Julia Roberts, Don Cheadle, Casey Affleck, Elliott Gould, Carl Reiner
2001
Danny: "Ten oughta do it, don't you think?"
Rusty: [Stares of in silence, not looking at Danny]
Danny: "You think we need one more?"
Rusty: [Silence]
Danny: "You think we need one more".
Rusty: [Silence]
Danny: "All right, we'll get one more".
Rusty: [Blinks]

66 Halloween
John Carpenter
Donald Pleasence, Jamie Lee Curtis
1978

65 Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Steven Spielberg
Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Denholm Elliott, Alison Doody, Julian Glover, John Rhys-Davies, River Phoenix
1989
Professor Henry Jones: "I'm sorry about your head though. But I thought that you were one of them".
Indiana Jones: "Dad, they come in through the doors".
Professor Henry Jones: "Ha, good point".

Professor Henry Jones: "We named the *dog* Indiana".

64 Knute Rockne, All American
Lloyd Bacon
Pat O'Brien, Ronald Reagan
1940
George Gipp: "Win one for the Gipper!"

Knute Rockne: "Now I'm going to tell you something I've kept to myself for years. None of you ever knew George Gipp. He was long before your time, but you all know what a tradition he is at Notre Dame. And the last thing he said to me, 'Rock,' he said, 'sometime when the team is up against it and the breaks are beating the boys, tell them to go out there with all they've got and win just one for the Gipper. I don't know where I'll be then, Rock,' he said, 'but I'll know about it and I'll be happy'".

63 Mr. Holland's Opus
Stephen Herek
Richard Dreyfuss, Glenne Headly, Olympia Dukakis, Jay Thomas
1995
Vice Principal Wolters: "I care about these kids just as much as you do. And if I'm forced to choose between Mozart and reading and writing and long division, I choose long division".
Glenn Holland: "Well, I guess you can cut the arts as much as you want, Gene. Sooner or later, these kids aren't going to have anything to read or write about".

62 Rain Man
Barry Levinson
Dustin Hoffman, Tom Cruise
1988
Raymond: "I'm an excellent driver".

61 Saving Private Ryan
Steven Spielberg
Tom Hanks, Edward Burns, Matt Damon, Tom Sizemore, Dennis Farina, Ted Danson, Paul Giamatti, Bryan Cranston, Harve Presnell, Vin Diesel
1998

60 We Were Soldiers
Randall Wallace
Mel Gibson, Sam Elliott, Madeleine Stowe
2002
Lt. Colonel Hal Moore [after saying a prayer]: "Oh, yes, and one more thing, dear Lord, about our enemies, ignore their heathen prayers and help us blow those little bastards straight to Hell. Amen".

59 The Graduate
Mike Nichols
Dustin Hoffman, Anne Bancroft, Katharine Ross
1967
Benjamin: "Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me".

58 Dirty Dancing
Emile Ardolino
Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey, Jerry Orbach, Cynthia Rhodes
1987
Johnny: "Nobody puts Baby in a corner".

57 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
David Yates
Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Helena Bonham Carter, Robbie Coltrane, Warwick Davis, Ralph Fiennes, Michael Gambon, Brendan Gleeson, Richard Griffiths, John Hurt, Jason Isaacs, Alan Rickman, Fiona Shaw, Timothy Spall, Imelda Staunton, David Thewlis, Julie Walters
2010

56 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
David Yates
Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Helena Bonham Carter, Robbie Coltrane, Warwick Davis, Ralph Fiennes, Michael Gambon, Brendan Gleeson, Richard Griffiths, John Hurt, Jason Isaacs, Alan Rickman, Fiona Shaw, Timothy Spall, Imelda Staunton, David Thewlis, Julie Walters
2011

55 Office Space
Mike Judge
Ron Livingston, Jennifer Aniston, Gary Cole
1999
Female Temp: "Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays".

Dom Portwood: "Hi, Peter. What's happening? We need to talk about your TPS reports".
Peter Gibbons: "Yeah. The coversheet. I know, I know. Uh, Bill talked to me about it".
Dom Portwood: "Yeah. Did you get that memo?"
Peter Gibbons: "Yeah. I got the memo. And I understand the policy. And the problem is just that I forgot the one time. And I've already taken care of it so it's not even really a problem anymore".
Dom Portwood: "Ah! Yeah. It's just we're putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now. So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that'd be great. All right!"

Bob Slydell: "You see, what we're actually trying to do here is, we're trying to get a feel for how people spend their day at work... so, if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?"
Peter Gibbons: "Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh heh - and, uh, after that I just sorta space out for about an hour".
Bob Porter: "Da-uh? Space out?"
Peter Gibbons: "Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work".

Bob Porter: "Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately".
Peter Gibbons: "I wouldn't say I've been *missing* it, Bob".
Milton Waddams: [talking on the phone] "And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire..."

54 Oklahoma!
Fred Zinnemann
Gordon MacRae, Shirley Jones, Rod Steiger, Gloria Grahame, Eddie Albert, Gene Nelson
1955

53 The Pride of the Yankees
Sam Wood
Gary Cooper, Teresa Wright
1942
Lou Gehrig:"Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth".

52 Midway
Jack Smight
Charlton Heston, Henry Fonda, Robert Mitchum, Glenn Ford
1976

51 The Untouchables
Brian De Palma
Sean Connery, Kevin Costner, Andy García, Robert De Niro, Patricia Clarkson, Charles Martin Smith, Richard Bradford
1987
Malone: "You wanna know how to get Capone? They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. *That's* the *Chicago* way!"

50 Starsky & Hutch
Todd Phillips
Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, Snoop Dogg, Juliette Lewis, Amy Smart, Carmen Electra
2004
Starsky: "Do it".

Hutch: "Okay, let me ask you a question, which one do you want cause we're gonna stick to this?"
Starsky: "I've always had a thing for blondes".
Hutch: "Good, cause I'll take anything".

Huggy Bear: "Look man, it ain't even funny no more. There used to be a time around here when you peed on the wall, you did it outside".
Hutch: "Lighten up! It's Friday night. Okay, it's a bar".
Huggy Bear: "Hutch, it's Wednesday afternoon man. Snap out of it".

Huggy Bear: "I am an urban informer. I am not a snitch".

Captain Doby: "You've robbed 7 bookies over the past 6 months. You haven't filed a report, turned in any money; you haven't even arrested anybody".
Hutch: "How can I arrest them? They'll know I'm a cop".

49 First Blood
Ted Kotcheff
Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Brian Dennehy, Jack Starrett
1982

48 It's a Wonderful Life
Frank Capra
James Stewart, Donna Reed, Lionel Barrymore
1946

47 Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
Adam McKay
Will Ferrell, Christina Applegate, Paul Rudd, David Koechner, Steve Carrell, Fred Willard
2004
Ron Burgundy: [to dog] "You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair".

Ron Burgundy: "I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly…"

Ron Burgundy: "I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you".

Ron Burgundy: "I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal".
Veronica Corningstone: "Really".
Ron Burgundy: "People know me".
Veronica Corningstone: "Well, I'm very happy for you".
Ron Burgundy: "I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany".

Ron Burgundy: "You stay classy, San Diego".

46 National Lampoon's Vacation
Harold Ramis
Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo, Randy Quaid, John Candy, Anthony Michael Hall, Dana Barron, Christie Brinkley
1983

Saturday, May 27, 2017

We've reached the Top 100...

The I’m just sayin… Top 2,982 Movies of All-Time Countdown


100 Miracle on 34th Street
George Seaton
Edmund Gwenn, Maureen O'Hara, John Payne, Natalie Wood
1947
Kris Kringle: "Now wait a minute, Susie. Just because every child can't get his wish that doesn't mean there isn't a Santa Claus".

99 Predator
John McTiernan
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers, Jesse Ventura
1987

98 Guess Who's Coming to Dinner
Stanley Kramer
Spencer Tracy, Katharine Hepburn, Sidney Poitier, Katharine Houghton, Beah Richards
1967

97 Alien
Ridley Scott
Sigourney Weaver, Tom Skerritt, Harry Dean Stanton, Veronica Cartwright, John Hurt, Ian Holm, Yaphet Kotto
1979

96 Beauty and the Beast
Gary Trousdale, Kirk Wise
Robby Benson, Paige O'Hara, Jerry Orbach, Angela Lansbury (voices)
1991

95 Apollo 13
Ron Howard
Tom Hanks, Kevin Bacon, Bill Paxton, Gary Sinise, Ed Harris, Kathleen Quinlan
1995
Jim Lovell: "Houston, we have a problem".

Gene Kranz: "Failure is not an option".

NASA Director: "This could be the worst disaster NASA's ever faced".
Gene Kranz: "With all due respect, sir, I believe this is gonna be our finest hour".

94 Driving Miss Daisy
Bruce Beresford
Morgan Freeman, Jessica Tandy, Dan Aykroyd, Esther Rolle, Patti LuPone
1989

93 Kicking & Screaming
Jesse Dylan
Will Ferrell, Robert Duvall
2005
Phil Weston: "Hey, I almost had you!"
Buck Weston: "What do you call that again, when you almost win? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah... Losing!"

Referee: "Where do I know you from?"
Phil Weston: "I've been your neighbor for the last seven years!"
Referee: "No, that ain't it".
Phil Weston: "That's definitely it!"
Referee: "I'll figure it out".

Buck Weston: "You know how hard it's been for me ever since your mom died".
Phil Weston: "She didn't die! She divorced you!"
Buck Weston: "Ehh... tomatoes, tomahtoes".

92 Robin and the 7 Hoods
Gordon Douglas
Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr.
1964

91 The A-Team
Joe Carnahan
Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Quinton "Rampage" Jackson, Sharlto Copley, Jessica Biel, Patrick Wilson, Brian Bloom
2010
Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith: "I love it when a plan comes together".

90 What a Way to Go!
J. Lee Thompson
Shirley MacLaine, Dean Martin, Paul Newman, Robert Mitchum, Robert Cummings, Dick Van Dyke, Gene Kelly
1964

89 The Terminator
James Cameron
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton
1984
The Terminator: "I'll be back!"

88 Dr. No
Terence Young
Sean Connery
1962
James Bond: "Bond, James Bond"

87 The Bridge on the River Kwai
David Lean
William Holden, Jack Hawkins, Alec Guinness, Sessue Hayakawa, James Donald, Geoffrey Horne
1957

86 12 Angry Men
William Friedkin
Jack Lemmon, George C. Scott, James Gandolfini, Ossie Davis, William Petersen, Hume Cronyn, Edward James Olmos, Tony Danza, Mykelti Williamson, Armin Mueller-Stahl
1997

85 A Nightmare on Elm Street
Wes Craven
Robert Englund, Heather Langenkamp, Johnny Depp
1984

84 Ben-Hur
William Wyler
Charlton Heston, Stephen Boyd, Jack Hawkins
1959

83 Forrest Gump
Robert Zemeckis
Tom Hanks, Robin Wright Penn, Gary Sinise, Sally Field, Mykelti Williamson, Haley Joel Osment
1994
Forrest Gump: "My momma always said, 'Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get'".

Forrest Gump: "Stupid is as stupid does".

82 Guarding Tess
Hugh Wilson
Shirley MacLaine, Nicolas Cage, Austin Pendleton
1994

81 The King's Speech
Tom Hooper
Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush, Helena Bonham Carter
2010

80 The Ten Commandments
Cecil B. DeMille
Charlton Heston, Yul Brynner, Edward G. Robinson, Anne Baxter, Yvonne De Carlo, Debra Paget, John Derek
1956

79 Young Guns II
Geoff Murphy
Emilio Estevez, Kiefer Sutherland, Lou Diamond Phillips, Christian Slater, William Petersen
1990
William H. Bonney: "Yoohoo. I'll make you famous!"

Josiah Gordon "Doc" Scurlock: "You son of a bitch! You're starting to believe what they're writing about you, aren't you? Let me tell you what you really are! You rode a 15 year old boy straight to his grave, and the rest of us straight to hell... straight to hell! William H. Bonney! You are *not* a god!"
[cocks his gun and points it at Billy]
William H. Bonney: "Why don't you pull the trigger and find out?"
***Note from Greg: BOOM! I love that quote! Everytime I hear it I can't help but yell "WOW!" That's what I'm talking about...

Josiah Gordon "Doc" Scurlock: "Billy! Let's finish the game".

78 Couples Retreat
Peter Billingsley
Vince Vaughn, Jon Favreau, Jason Bateman, Faizon Love, Kristen Davis, Malin Åkerman, Kristen Bell, Kali Hawk, Jean Reno
2009
Dave: "Is his junk literally out of his pants?"
Ronnie: "Yes".
Dave: "Now it's a party".

Dave: "You got a pose called yoga guy gets his ass kicked? Cause that's my favorite one".

77 Airplane!
Jim Abrahams, Jerry Zucker
Robert Hays, Julie Hagerty, Leslie Nielsen, Peter Graves, Robert Stack, Lloyd Bridges, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
1980
Ted Striker: "My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar".
Elaine Dickinson: "When will you be back?"
Ted Striker: "I can't tell you that. It's classified".

Rumack: "You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital".
Elaine Dickinson: "A hospital? What is it?"
Rumack: "It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now".

Rumack: "Can you fly this plane, and land it?"
Ted Striker: "Surely you can't be serious".
Rumack: "I am serious... and don't call me Shirley".

Rumack: "Well, I don't have anything to say, you've done the best you could. You really have, the best you could. You can't expect to win em all. But, I want to tell you something I've kept to myself through these years. I was in the war myself, medical corps. I was on late duty one night when they brought in a badly wounded pilot from one of the raids. He could barely talk. He looked at me and said, 'The odds were against us up there, but we went in anyway, I'm glad the Captain made the right decision.' The pilot's name was George Zip".
Ted Striker: "George Zip said that?"
Rumack: "The last thing he said to me, 'Doc,' he said, 'some time when the crew is up against it, and the breaks are beating the boys, tell them to get out there and give it all they got and win just one for the Zipper. I don't know where I'll be then, Doc,' he said, 'but I won't smell too good, that's for sure'".
Ted Striker: "Excuse me doc, I got a plane to land".

Captain Oveur: "You ever been in a cockpit before?"
Joey: "No sir, I've never been up in a plane before".
Captain Oveur: "You ever seen a grown man naked?"

Joey: "Wait a minute. I know you. You're Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. You play basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers".
Roger Murdock: "I'm sorry son, but you must have me confused with someone else. My name is Roger Murdock. I'm the co-pilot".
Joey: "You are Kareem! I've seen you play. My dad's got season tickets".
Roger Murdock: "I think you should go back to your seat now Joey. Right Clarence?"
Captain Oveur: "Nahhhhhh, he's not bothering anyone, let him stay here".
Roger Murdock: "But just remember, my name is..."
[showing his nametag]
Roger Murdock: "ROGER MURDOCK. I'm an airline pilot".
Joey: "I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you don't work hard enough on defense".
[Kareem's getting mad]
Joey: "And he says that lots of times, you don't even run down court. And that you don't really try... except during the playoffs".
Roger Murdock: [breaking character] "The hell I don't! LISTEN KID! I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I'm out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes".

76 Friday the 13th
Sean S. Cunningham
Betsy Palmer, Adrienne King, Kevin Bacon
1980

75 Two Mules for Sister Sara
Don Siegel
Clint Eastwood, Shirley MacLaine
1970
[toasting Sister Sara]
Gen. LeClair: "To your virtues... and especially your vices, Sara".

Sara: "If money is all you care about then why did you fight in that war?"
Hogan: "Everybody's got a right to be a sucker once".

74 Apocalypse Now
Francis Ford Coppola
Martin Sheen, Marlon Brando, Robert Duvall, Frederic Forrest, Sam Bottoms, Laurence Fishburne, Dennis Hopper
1979
Kilgore: "I love the smell of napalm in the morning".

73 Patton
Franklin J. Schaffner
George C. Scott, Karl Malden
1970
Patton: "Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country".

72 Raiders of the Lost Ark
Steven Spielberg
Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, Denholm Elliott, Paul Freeman, John Rhys-Davies, Ronald Lacey, Alfred Molina
1981
Indiana: "I hate snakes, Jock! I hate 'em!"

71 Road House
Rowdy Herrington
Patrick Swayze, Kelly Lynch, Sam Elliott, Ben Gazzara
1989
Dalton: "Pain don't hurt".

Dalton: "All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three, be nice".

Dalton: "I want you to be nice until it's time to not be nice".

Doc: "How's a guy like you end up a bouncer?"
Dalton: "Just lucky I guess".