Disclaimer

If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.



Monday, April 19, 2010

And still champion of the backyard...

Maverick. Friends, I’ve talked before about my dogs on here once or twice so you should know who Maverick is. For those of you new to my blog (and I’m sure there are thousands everyday), Maverick is my black daschund mix who earned my love about 5 years ago when he went on a mission to rid my backyard of rats. See, we have woods behind our house and I’m sure that somehow leads to us having rats in our backyard. I have no reason to believe they’ve made it into my house, but I’ve seen them in the backyard. I didn’t want to put anything out because I was worried Lucy or Maverick would get into it and it would hurt them. Anyway, over the course of 2005, Maverick was like an assassin in his prime. Over the course of about 6 to 8 months that year he hunted down and killed five (5) rats of various sizes (mostly various medium sizes). I can remember clearly two of these kills:

1. I look out into the backyard and see Lucy standing on the top rail of the deck looking into the yard. There is Maverick shaking the hell out of a rat.

2. In the middle of a thunderstorm, Maverick bolts out of our backdoor and catches and kills a rat. I have to go out in the middle of said thunderstorm to dispose of rat and get Maverick to come back inside.

After 2005, there were no more kills. It wasn’t really his fault. It’s more like the cornerback who intercepts a bunch of passes early in his career only to have QBs never throw his way anymore. My thought was that early on, the rats were living under my deck. After 2005, I figured they moved to under my shed. Still, as I started work on tearing down my deck with my bare hands (and by bare hands I mean my Carhartt covered hands holding a circular saw or hammer or crowbar) I thought it would be best to have Maverick as my wingman. I thought there might be either rats or snakes under there and I knew of everyone in that house, Maverick was the best bet I had at help should something come up. Well, yesterday I was proven right. As I got to the part of the deck that was close to the house, Maverick got locked into something and started running back and forth. I pulled up a few more boards and then went to see what he was looking at (rats aren’t the only thing he’ll kill... lizards are also his sworn enemy). What I saw was a huge freakin’ rat (at least for this area). He was trying to get away, but Maverick was locked on and when Maverick locks... a rat has NO chance. The situation looked a lot like a rundown in baseball with the rat going back and forth in an area too narrow for Maverick to get to it. Who knows how long this would have gone on. Lucy was under a tree in the shade and didn’t look like she would be any help (didn’t shock me... see previous story). This would be a PERFECT chance for Donkey to step up and earn my respect. Maybe a chance for him to get an assist on the kill. I looked for him only to see him drinking water. He even saw the rat before going to get a drink. It’s like he has ADD or something. I couldn’t have pulled Maverick away once he got locked on. Donkey saw it and thought... “boy it’s hot out here, I’m going to go get some water”. So I took a swing at the rat and missed, but it made him adjust his route just enough to bring him up out of this narrow space he was in. He didn’t come up too much, but just enough for Maverick to attack. BOOM... just like that it was OVER! Down goes rat #6. Maverick still has what it takes. (For any of you worried about Maverick having a rat in his mouth... don’t... The Wife cleaned out his mouth as soon as she let him come inside). Here is a pic of the victim. Mary Ruth thought it was “cool”. Honestly, I haven’t seen Maverick this happy in YEARS.
I'm not sure either of these pictures really does this rat justice. He was huge. I thought he would put up a better fight, but Maverick looked like Tyson in his prime. What a great dog he is. Oh, when we went to take a pic of the rat... guess who wanted to get in it. That’s right. Donkey.


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