Are you f#%*ing kidding me?!

That may or may not have been my reaction yesterday to a situation that happened at my house. Before we talk about that, however, let’s go back in time a little bit.

Last Tuesday: The Wife turned in her 2 weeks notice.

Last Wednesday: She was told “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here”. (Those weren’t the exact words... the exact words weren’t nearly as funny).

(****NOTE: Today The Wife was told by her new boss that she can move up the start date of her new job, so that’s good. Because of this, she is willing to move on and forget about how the old job treated her. This is because she is a nice person. I, however, am somewhat of a vindictive sonofagun and I’m not quite ready to let it go. Still, she doesn’t want me to make a big deal about what happened. So I promised her I wouldn’t get on here and tell you that if you ever find yourself working for the Dorchester County DDSN and you decide you are going to take a job somewhere else, don’t give a 2 weeks notice [or any notice for that matter]. I agreed I wouldn’t say anything, so please don’t ask me. END NOTE****)

Last Friday: The Wife leaves me and her two little girls to go on a wild and crazy weekend trip with some of her sorority friends.

I’m sure you now see the problem that I saw... The Wife is gone and I have two little girls at home by myself. I am happy to say both were alive and well when The Wife got back home. For any other dad’s out there looking for some advice on how to handle a situation like this, you probably shouldn’t ask me. What I did was pull out the TV from our bedroom and set it up out in the den with my playstation 2 and played video games while watching GI Joe/ThunderCats/Transformers/Veggie Tales/Various Disney Princess Movies with Mary Ruth. Then there was the issue of what to do with Susie. For the most part, she was happy just sitting in the den hanging out with her big sister (and me... but mostly her big sister). When it came time to eat, we all sat in the den and ate while watching TV. Yes, even Susie. I pulled her highchair out into the den, put various food items on her tray, and let her have at it. I have to say, I think she loved the idea of watching TV while eating. And with 3 dogs paying attention to nothing but Susie, I didn’t have to worry about food falling on the floor. I did have to leave the house for a soccer meeting for parents at the Y, but that was only for about an hour... so I left Lucy and Mary Ruth in charge and told Maverick not to let anyone in the house while I was gone. Ok, not really... I had Mom come up and watch the girls while I went to the meeting. I also spent hours and hours and hours washing clothes and doing all the other things The Wife neglected to do before she left us to party with her friends. By Sunday I was exhausted. So I stayed home to rest and get ready for a birthday party at 4:00. The Wife got home between 1:00-2:00 and all of us were excited and happy to see her. She was tired so she decided to take a nap before the party (Susie was also taking a nap). Mary Ruth was excited about the party and kept wanting to know when we were going to leave. I woke The Wife up at about 3:30 to tell her it was time to go. She informed me that she didn’t feel good (which is true... she is sick... at least she sounds sick) and that we weren’t going to the party. Mary Ruth wasn’t happy about this (I wasn’t either). I said just because she doesn’t feel good doesn’t mean me and Mary Ruth couldn’t go. So it was decided... me and MR would go to the party. By now I was starting to rush to get out the door because I didn’t want to miss any cake and ice cream. I couldn’t find the keys to my car, so I asked The Wife for her keys to my car. She gave them to me... but she doesn’t have a house key with her key to my car. I pointed out that I thought this was a bad idea. What if they had to go somewhere... then me and MR wouldn’t be able to get back in the house. She said not to worry about it. So me and MR walked out to the car to leave. But The Wife still had all of her stuff in the car, so she came out to get it.

Now we get to the part of the day I first talked about in this post. As The Wife walked out of the house she claims she unlocked the door. Like you, I’m questioning why she even closed the door... I mean, we’re just going to the car and there isn’t anyone inside who we have to worry about opening the storm door and letting the dogs out. So why do it? I don’t know... Anyway, she got her stuff and got to the door and... and... and... couldn’t get in. She had locked the door. For those of you scoring at home, I’m outside the house with The Wife and Mary Ruth. None of us have a house key. Susie is inside... unable to let us in (and at this point, she’s sleeping so she really doesn’t care where we are). The good news, if there is any, is that I’m pretty sure that short of breaking a window our house is impossible to break in to. I know this, because I spent a lot of time trying. The Wife finally had to call The Mother-in-Law and have her come over and let us in. Since I know you’re asking... we have, in the past, had a key hidden outside of our house. I’m pretty sure The Wife used it and left it inside and I just never noticed until now.

Anyway... MR and I had to miss the party. No seeing our friends. No cake and ice cream. You know I love cake and ice cream.

In case any of you are thinking “hasn’t this happened to them before?” the answer is, yes. I locked Mary Ruth in the house by herself one time when The Wife was out of town. In my defense, however, I didn’t shut the door all the way... one of the dogs (or MR) pushed it shut. And I was able to get into the house without calling for back-up.

My only thought, is my week has to get better...

Know Your Medal of Honor Recipients:

Ordinary Seaman John Andrews (US Navy) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on June 9 & 10, 1871 in Korea. His citation reads:

On board the U.S.S. Benicia in action against Korean forts on 9 and 10 June 1871. Stationed at the lead in passing the forts, Andrews stood on the gunwale on the Benicia's launch, lashed to the ridgerope. He remained unflinchingly in this dangerous position and gave his soundings with coolness and accuracy under a heavy fire.

Cabin Boy John Angling (US Navy) received his Medal of Honor for his actions from December 24, 1864 – January 22, 1865 during the Civil War. His citation reads:

Served on board the U.S.S. Pontoosuc during the capture of Fort Fisher and Wilmington, 24 December 1864 to 22 January 1865. Carrying out his duties faithfully during this period, C.B. Angling was recommended for gallantry and skill and for his cool courage while under the fire of the enemy throughout these various actions.


Coxswain William Anderson (US Navy) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on June 28, 1878. His citation reads:

On board the U.S.S. Powhatan, 28 June 1878. Acting courageously, Anderson rescued from drowning W. H. Moffatt, first class boy.