Disclaimer

If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.



Monday, May 21, 2012

The last day before...

Know Your Medal of Honor Recipients:

Captain Robert F. Foley (US Army) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on November 5, 1966, near Quan Dau Tieng, Republic of Vietnam. His citation reads:

For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity in action at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty. Capt. Foley's company was ordered to extricate another company of the battalion. Moving through the dense jungle to aid the besieged unit, Company A encountered a strong enemy force occupying well concealed, defensive positions, and the company's leading element quickly sustained several casualties. Capt. Foley immediately ran forward to the scene of the most intense action to direct the company's efforts. Deploying 1 platoon on the flank, he led the other 2 platoons in an attack on the enemy in the face of intense fire. During this action both radio operators accompanying him were wounded. At grave risk to himself he defied the enemy's murderous fire, and helped the wounded operators to a position where they could receive medical care. As he moved forward again 1 of his machine gun crews was wounded. Seizing the weapon, he charged forward firing the machine gun, shouting orders and rallying his men, thus maintaining the momentum of the attack. Under increasingly heavy enemy fire he ordered his assistant to take cover and, alone, Capt. Foley continued to advance firing the machine gun until the wounded had been evacuated and the attack in this area could be resumed. When movement on the other flank was halted by the enemy's fanatical defense, Capt. Foley moved to personally direct this critical phase of the battle. Leading the renewed effort he was blown off his feet and wounded by an enemy grenade. Despite his painful wounds he refused medical aid and persevered in the forefront of the attack on the enemy redoubt. He led the assault on several enemy gun emplacements and, single-handedly, destroyed 3 such positions. His outstanding personal leadership under intense enemy fire during the fierce battle which lasted for several hours, inspired his men to heroic efforts and was instrumental in the ultimate success of the operation. Capt. Foley's magnificent courage, selfless concern for his men and professional skill reflect the utmost credit upon himself and the U.S. Army.

Corporal Michael Fleming Folland (US Army) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on July 3, 1969, at Long Khanh, Providence, Republic of Vietnam. His citation reads:

For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity in action at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty. Cpl. Folland distinguished himself while serving as an ammunition bearer with the weapons platoon of Company D, during a reconnaissance patrol mission. As the patrol was moving through a dense jungle area, it was caught in an intense crossfire from heavily fortified and concealed enemy ambush positions. As the patrol reacted to neutralize the ambush, it became evident that the heavy weapons could not be used in the cramped fighting area. Cpl. Folland dropped his recoilless rifle ammunition, and ran forward to join his commander in an assault on the enemy bunkers. The assaulting force moved forward until it was pinned down directly in front of the heavily fortified bunkers by machine gun fire. Cpl. Folland stood up to draw enemy fire on himself and to place suppressive fire on the enemy positions while his commander attempted to destroy the machine gun positions with grenades. Before the officer could throw a grenade, an enemy grenade landed in the position. Cpl. Folland alerted his comrades and his commander hurled the grenade from the position. When a second enemy grenade landed in the position, Cpl. Folland again shouted a warning to his fellow soldiers. Seeing that no one could reach the grenade and realizing that it was about to explode, Cpl. Folland, with complete disregard for his safety, threw himself on the grenade. By his dauntless courage, Cpl. Folland saved the lives of his comrades although he was mortally wounded by the explosion. Cpl. Folland's extraordinary heroism, at the cost of his life, was in keeping with the highest traditions of the military service and reflects great credit upon himself, his unit, and the U.S. Army.

Sergeant Joseph L. Follett (US Army) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on March 3, 1862, at New Madrid, Missouri and December 31, 1862, at Stone River, Tennessee. His citation reads:

At New Madrid, Mo., remained on duty though severely wounded. While procuring ammunition from the supply train at Stone River, Tenn., was captured, but made his escape, secured the ammunition, and in less than an hour from the time of his capture had the batteries supplied.


The I’m just sayin… Top 2,613 Movies of All-Time Countdown

475 The Avengers
Jeremiah S. Chechik
Ralph Fiennes, Uma Thurman, Sean Connery, Jim Broadbent, Fiona Shaw, Eddie Izzard
1998

474 Taxi Driver
Martin Scorsese
Robert De Niro, Jodie Foster, Cybill Shepherd
1976

473 The Silence of the Lambs
Jonathan Demme
Anthony Hopkins, Jodie Foster, Scott Glenn, Ted Levine, Frankie Faison, Anthony Heald, Kasi Lemmons, Diane Baker, Brooke Smith
1991

472 Perfect Strangers
Bretaigne Windust
Ginger Rogers, Dennis Morgan
1950

471 Blue Streak
Les Mayfield
Martin Lawrence, Luke Wilson, Peter Greene, Dave Chappelle
1999

470 Born on the Fourth of July
Oliver Stone
Tom Cruise, Kyra Sedgwick, Willem Dafoe
1989
Ron Kovic: "People say that if you don't love America, then get the hell out. Well, I love America".

469 Hook
Steven Spielberg
Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins
1991
Wendy Darling: "The stories are true! I swear to you! I swear on everything I adore, and now he's come back to seek his revenge. The fight isn't over for Captain James Hook. He wants you back. He knows that you'll follow Jack and Maggie to the ends of the earth and beyond. And by heaven, you must find a way. Only you can save your children. Somehow, you must go back. You must make yourself remember".
Peter Banning: "Remember what?"
Wendy Darling: "Peter, don't you know who you are?"
[Wendy opens up the book and shows an illustration of Peter Pan as Peter looks in disbelief]
Wendy Darling: [whispers] "Yes, boy. Yes".

468 Risky Business
Paul Brickman
Tom Cruise, Rebecca De Mornay, Richard Masur, Joe Pantoliano, Curtis Armstrong, Bronson Pinchot
1983
Joel Goodson: You didn't tell anyone did ya?"
Miles: "No...Glen knows".
Joel Goodson: "What about Barry?"
Miles: "He knows too".
Joel Goodson: "Okay. Just don't tell anyone".

Joel Goodson: "You know, Bill, there's one thing I learned in all my years. Sometimes you just gotta say, 'What the f--k, make your move.'"

467 It's a Wonderful World
W. S. Van Dyke
Claudette Colbert, James Stewart, Guy Kibbee, Nat Pendleton
1939

466 Saturday Night Fever
John Badham
John Travolta, Karen Lynn Gorney, Donna Pescow
1977

465 Monkey Business
Howard Hawks
Cary Grant, Marilyn Monroe
1952

464 Death of a Salesman
László Benedek
Fredric March, Mildred Dunnock
1951

463 Sahara
Breck Eisner
Matthew McConaughey, Steve Zahn, Penelope Cruz
2005

462 Presumed Innocent
Alan J. Pakula
Harrison Ford, Greta Scacchi, Bonnie Bedelia, Brian Dennehy, Raúl Juliá
1990

461 The Adjustment Bureau
George Nolfi
Matt Damon, Emily Blunt, Anthony Mackie, Shoreh Aghdashloo, John Slattery, Michael Kelly, Anthony Ruivivar, Terence Stamp
2011

460 Grumpy Old Men
Donald Petrie
Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau, Ann-Margret, Daryl Hannah
1993

459 Sudden Impact
Clint Eastwood
Clint Eastwood, Sondra Locke, Pat Hingle
1983
Crook: [during a diner robbery] "What's you doing, you pighead sucka?"
Harry Callahan: "Every day for the past ten years, Loretta there's been giving me a large black coffee, today she gives me a large black coffee only it has sugar in it, a lotta sugar. I just came back to complain. Now, you boys put those guns down".
Crook: "Say what?"
Harry Callahan: "Well, we're not just gonna let you walk out of here".
Crook: "Who's we sucka?"
Harry Callahan: [slowly drawing his .44 Magnum] "Smith and Wesson... and me".

458 Limitless
Neil Burger
Bradley Cooper, Abbie Cornish, Robert De Niro, Andrew Howard, Anna Friel
2011

457 Dead Reckoning
John Cromwell
Humphrey Bogart, Lizabeth Scott
1947

456 Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian
Shawn Levy
Ben Stiller, Dick Van Dyke, Robin Williams, Amy Adams, Hank Azaria, Owen Wilson, Steve Coogan, Jonah Hill, Ricky Gervais
2009

455 The Sons of Katie Elder
Henry Hathaway
John Wayne, Dean Martin, Earl Holliman, George Kennedy
1965

454 Sergeants 3
John Sturges
Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr., Peter Lawford, Joey Bishop
1962

453 Annie
John Huston
Albert Finney, Carol Burnett, Tim Curry, Bernadette Peters, Ann Reinking, Edward Herrmann, Aileen Quinn
1982
Annie: "The sun'll come out Tomorrow, so you gotta hang on till tomorrow. Come what may. Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I love ya, Tomorrow. You're only a day away".

452 Some Like It Hot
Billy Wilder
Marilyn Monroe, Jack Lemmon, Tony Curtis, George Raft, Pat O'Brien, Joe E. Brown
1959

451 Frequency
Gregory Hoblit
Dennis Quaid, James Caviezel
2000

450 Real Genius
Martha Coolidge
Val Kilmer, Gabe Jarret, William Atherton
1985

449 The Green Mile
Frank Darabont
Tom Hanks, David Morse, Bonnie Hunt, Michael Clarke Duncan
1999

448 Lady and the Tramp
Clyde Geronimi, Wilfred Jackson
Peggy Lee, Barbara Luddy
1955

447 Get Shorty
Barry Sonnenfeld
John Travolta, Gene Hackman, Rene Russo, Danny DeVito, James Gandolfini, Delroy Lindo, David Paymer, Dennis Farina
1995

446 A Time to Kill
Joel Schumacher
Matthew McConaughey, Sandra Bullock, Samuel L. Jackson, Kevin Spacey, Kiefer Sutherland, Ashley Judd, Patrick McGoohan
1996

445 Point Break
Kathryn Bigelow
Patrick Swayze, Keanu Reeves, Lori Petty, Gary Busey
1991
Bodhi: "What's the matter with you guys? This was never about the money, this was about us against the system. That system that kills the human spirit. We stand for something. We are here to show those guys that are inching their way on the freeways in their metal coffins that the human sprit is still alive. Don't worry about this guy, okay? I know exactly what to do with him".

444 Revenge of the Nerds
Jeff Kanew
Anthony Edwards, Robert Carradine, Timothy Busfield
1984
Gibert: "I just wanted to say that I'm a nerd, and I'm here tonight to stand up for the rights of other nerds. I mean uh, all our lives we've been laughed at and made to feel inferior. And tonight, those bastards, they trashed our house. Why? Cause we're smart? Cause we look different? Well, we're not. I'm a nerd, and uh, I'm pretty proud of it".
Lewis: "Hi, Gilbert. I'm a nerd too. I just found that out tonight. We have news for the beautiful people. There's a lot more of us than there are of you. I know there's alumni here tonight. When you went to Adams you might've been called a spazz, or a dork, or a geek. Any of you that have ever felt stepped on, left out, picked on, put down, whether you think you're a nerd or not, why don't you just come down here and join us. Okay? Come on".

443 Tap
Nick Castle
Gregory Hines, Suzzanne Douglas, Sammy Davis, Jr.
1989

442 The Reluctant Astronaut
Edw. Montagne Jr.
Don Knotts, Leslie Nielsen
1967

441 Get Smart
Peter Segal
Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, Dwayne Johnson, Alan Arkin
2008
Maxwell Smart: "I think it's only fair to warn you, this facility is surrounded by a highly trained team of 130 Black Op Snipers".
Siegfried: "I don't believe you".
Maxwell Smart: "Would you believe two dozen Delta Force Commandos?"
Siegfried: "No".
Maxwell Smart: "How about Chuck Norris with a BB gun?"

440 Charlotte's Web
Charles A. Nichols
Voices of Debbie Reynolds, Paul Lynde
1973

439 Dick Tracy
Warren Beatty
Warren Beatty, Al Pacino, Madonna, Glenne Headly, Mandy Patinkin, Dustin Hoffman, Dick Van Dyke
1990

438 Strangers on a Train
Alfred Hitchcock
Farley Granger, Ruth Roman, Robert Walker
1951

437 The Muppets Take Manhattan
Frank Oz
Jim Henson, Frank Oz, Dave Goelz
1984

436 Goodfellas
Martin Scorsese
Robert De Niro, Ray Liotta, Joe Pesci, Lorraine Bracco, Paul Sorvino
1990
Tommy DeVito: "You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little f--ked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to f--kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?"

435 Legally Blonde
Robert Luketic
Reese Witherspoon, Luke Wilson, Selma Blair, Matthew Davis
2001

434 Be Cool
F. Gary Gray
John Travolta, Uma Thurman, Cedric the Entertainer, André Benjamin, Steven Tyler, Vince Vaughn
2005

433 The Lion King
Rob Minkoff
(voices) Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Matthew Broderick, Jeremy Irons, James Earl Jones, Whoopi Goldberg, Moira Kelly, Nathan Lane
1994

432 The Natural
Barry Levinson
Robert Redford, Robert Duvall, Glenn Close, Kim Basinger, Wilford Brimley, Richard Farnsworth, Barbara Hershey, Darren McGavin
1984

431 Sahara
Zoltan Korda
Humphrey Bogart
1943

430 Blades of Glory
Will Speck, Josh Gordon
Will Ferrell, Jon Heder
2007
Jimmy: "I see you got fat".
Chazz: "I see you still look like a fifteen year old girl, but not hot".

429 Coming to America
John Landis
Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall, James Earl Jones
1988
Prince Akeem: "Good morning, my neighbors!"
Voice: "Hey, f--k you!"
Prince Akeem: [genuinely happy] "Yes, yes! F--k you too!"

428 The Fugitive
Andrew Davis
Harrison Ford, Tommy Lee Jones, Jeroen Krabbe, Joe Pantoliano, Sela Ward, Jane Lynch, Julianne Moore
1993
Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: "Alright, listen up, people. Our fugitive has been on the run for ninety minutes. Average foot speed over uneven ground barring injuries is 4 miles-per-hour. That gives us a radius of six miles. What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area. Checkpoints go up at fifteen miles. Your fugitive's name is Dr. Richard Kimble. Go get him".

Haha... oops! I used this quote earlier for the wrong Fugitive movie. Oh well...

427 Fried Green Tomatoes
Jon Avnet
Kathy Bates, Mary Stuart Masterson, Mary-Louise Parker, Jessica Tandy
1991

426 Monsters, Inc.
Peter Docter
John Goodman, Billy Crystal, Steve Buscemi, James Coburn
2001

425 Full Metal Jacket
Stanley Kubrick
Matthew Modine, R. Lee Ermey, Vincent D'Onofrio, Adam Baldwin, Dorian Harewood, Arliss Howard
1987

424 The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Stephen Norrington
Sean Connery, Naseeruddin Shah
2003

423 Fatal Attraction
Adrian Lyne
Michael Douglas, Glenn Close, Anne Archer
1987

422 Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Jay Roach
Mike Myers, Heather Graham, Robert Wagner, Seth Green, Michael York, Verne Troyer, Will Ferrell
1999
Scott: [both are the Jerry Springer show] "How could you do this to me? On national television!"
Dr. Evil: "Well throw me a freakin' bone here, Scott".
Scott: "Why did you run out on me?"
Dr. Evil: "Because you're not quite evil enough".
[audience boos]
Dr. Evil: "Well it's true! It's true! You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie, not evil enough".

421 Lawrence of Arabia
David Lean
Peter O'Toole, Omar Sharif, Anthony Quinn, Alec Guinness, Jose Ferrer, Arthur Kennedy, Anthony Quayle, Claude Rains
1962

420 The Client
Joel Schumacher
Susan Sarandon, Tommy Lee Jones, Brad Renfro, Mary-Louise Parker, Anthony LaPaglia, J.T. Walsh
1994

419 Clerks
Kevin Smith
Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson
1994

418 Jewel of the Nile, The
Lewis Teague
Kathleen Turner, Michael Douglas, Danny DeVito
1985

417 Back to School
Alan Metter
Rodney Dangerfield, Sally Kellerman, Keith Gordon, Robert Downey, Jr.
1986

416 Blue Chips
William Friedkin
Nick Nolte, Mary McDonnell, Shaquille O'Neal
1994

415 Psycho
Alfred Hitchcock
Anthony Perkins, Janet Leigh, Vera Miles, John Gavin
1960

414 Outbreak
Wolfgang Petersen
Dustin Hoffman, Rene Russo, Morgan Freeman, Donald Sutherland, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Kevin Spacey, Patrick Dempsey
1995

413 Star Trek: The Motion Picture
Robert Wise
William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, Persis Khambatta, Nichelle Nichols, George Takei
1979

412 The Sting
George Roy Hill
Paul Newman, Robert Redford, Robert Shaw, Eileen Brennan, Ray Walston, Jack Kehoe, Charles Durning, Dana Elcar, Harold Gould
1973

411 Terminator Salvation
McG
Christian Bale, Sam Worthington, Anton Yelchin, Moon Bloodgood, Bryce Dallas Howard, Common, Jadagrace Berry, Helena Bonham Carter, Jane Alexander
2009

410 Soul Men
Malcolm D. Lee
Samuel L. Jackson, Bernie Mac
2008

409 Ransom
Ron Howard
Mel Gibson, Rene Russo, Gary Sinise, Delroy Lindo
1996
Tom Mullen: "The whole world now knows... my son, Sean Mullen, was kidnapped, for ransom, three days ago. This is a recent photograph of him. Sean, if you're watching, we love you. And this... well, this is what waits for the man that took him. This is your ransom. Two million dollars in unmarked bills, just like you wanted. But this is as close as you'll ever get to it. You'll never see one dollar of this money, because no ransom will ever be paid for my son. Not one dime, not one penny. Instead, I'm offering this money as a reward on your head. Dead or alive, it doesn't matter. So congratulations, you've just become a two million dollar lottery ticket... except the odds are much, much better. Do you know anyone that wouldn't turn you in for two million dollars? I don't think you do. I doubt it. So wherever you go and whatever you do, this money will be tracking you down for all time. And to ensure that it does, to keep interest alive, I'm running a full-page ad in every major newspaper every Sunday... for as long as it takes. But... and this is your last chance... you return my son, alive, uninjured, I'll withdraw the bounty. With any luck you can simply disappear. Understand... you will never see this money. Not one dollar. So you still have a chance to do the right thing. If you don't, well, then, God be with you, because nobody else on this Earth will be".

Tom Mullen: "You kill him, you kill yourself, you motherf--ker! GIVE ME BACK MY SON!"

408 The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
Colin Higgins
Dolly Parton, Burt Reynolds, Charles Durning, Dom DeLuise
1982

407 Finding Forrester
Gus Van Sant
Sean Connery, Rob Brown, Anna Paquin
2000

406 Robin Hood: Men in Tights
Mel Brooks
Cary Elwes, Isaac Hayes, Patrick Stewart, Amy Yasbeck, Dave Chappelle, Richard Lewis, Tracey Ullman, Roger Rees
1993

405 All the President's Men
Alan J. Pakula
Robert Redford, Dustin Hoffman, Jason Robards, Jack Warden, Hal Holbrook, Stephen Collins, Jane Alexander, Martin Balsam
1976

404 Superman II
Richard Lester
Gene Hackman, Christopher Reeve, Margot Kidder, Terence Stamp, Sarah Douglas, Jack O'Halloran, Valerie Perrine
1980

403 The Sixth Sense
M. Night Shyamalan
Bruce Willis, Haley Joel Osment, Toni Collette, Donnie Wahlberg, Olivia Williams
1999

402 The Patriot
Roland Emmerich
Mel Gibson, Heath Ledger
2000

401 Thelma & Louise
Ridley Scott
Susan Sarandon, Geena Davis, Harvey Keitel, Michael Madsen, Brad Pitt
1991


The I’m just sayin… Weekly Weigh-In

Greg 230

Mary Ruth 47

Susie 26

Daniel 25

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