Disclaimer

If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.



Thursday, May 17, 2012

T-minus 5 days and counting…

Know Your Medal of Honor Recipients:

Sergeant Major Christian A. Fleetwood (US Army) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on September 29, 1864, at Chapins Farm, Virginia. His citation reads:

Seized the colors, after 2 color bearers had been shot down, and bore them nobly through the fight.

First Lieutenant James P. Fleming (US Air Force) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on November 26, 1968, near Duc Co, Republic of Vietnam. His citation reads:

For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity in action at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty. Capt. Fleming (then 1st Lt.) distinguished himself as the Aircraft Commander of a UH-1F transport Helicopter. Capt. Fleming went to the aid of a 6-man special forces long range reconnaissance patrol that was in danger of being overrun by a large, heavily armed hostile force. Despite the knowledge that 1 helicopter had been downed by intense hostile fire, Capt. Fleming descended, and balanced his helicopter on a river bank with the tail boom hanging over open water. The patrol could not penetrate to the landing site and he was forced to withdraw. Dangerously low on fuel, Capt. Fleming repeated his original landing maneuver. Disregarding his own safety, he remained in this exposed position. Hostile fire crashed through his windscreen as the patrol boarded his helicopter. Capt. Fleming made a successful takeoff through a barrage of hostile fire and recovered safely at a forward base. Capt. Fleming's profound concern for his fellowmen, and at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty are in keeping with the highest traditions of the U.S. Air Force and reflect great credit upon himself and the Armed Forces of his country.

Captain Richard E. Fleming (US Marine Corps) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on June 4-5, 1942, during the Battle of Midway. His citation reads:

For extraordinary heroism and conspicuous intrepidity above and beyond the call of duty as Flight Officer, Marine Scout Bombing Squadron 241, during action against enemy Japanese forces in the battle of Midway on 4 and 5 June 1942. When his Squadron Commander was shot down during the initial attack upon an enemy aircraft carrier, Capt. Fleming led the remainder of the division with such fearless determination that he dived his own plane to the perilously low altitude of 400 feet before releasing his bomb. Although his craft was riddled by 179 hits in the blistering hail of fire that burst upon him from Japanese fighter guns and antiaircraft batteries, he pulled out with only 2 minor wounds inflicted upon himself. On the night of 4 June, when the squadron commander lost his way and became separated from the others, Capt. Fleming brought his own plane in for a safe landing at its base despite hazardous weather conditions and total darkness. The following day, after less than 4 hours' sleep, he led the second division of his squadron in a coordinated glide-bombing and dive-bombing assault upon a Japanese battleship. Undeterred by a fateful approach glide, during which his ship was struck and set afire, he grimly pressed home his attack to an altitude of 500 feet, released his bomb to score a near miss on the stern of his target, then crashed to the sea in flames. His dauntless perseverance and unyielding devotion to duty were in keeping with the highest traditions of the U.S. Naval Service.

The I’m just sayin… Top 2,613 Movies of All-Time Countdown

775 For Whom the Bell Tolls
Sam Wood
Gary Cooper, Ingrid Bergman
1943
Maria: "I do not know how to kiss, or I would kiss you. Where do the noses go?"

774 Dutiful But Dumb
Del Lord
The Three Stooges
1941

773 Passenger 57
Kevin Hooks
Wesley Snipes, Bruce Payne, Tom Sizemore
1992

772 Everything Must Go
Dan Rush
Will Ferrell, Rebecca Hall, Michael Peña, Christopher C. J. Wallace, Glenn Howerton, with Stephen Root and Laura Dern
2011

771 Staying Alive
Sylvester Stallone
John Travolta, Cynthia Rhodes, Finola Hughes
1983
Laura: "Oh, don't take it personally".
Tony Manero: "I've got to. There's no one else in the room!"

770 Death Becomes Her
Robert Zemeckis
Meryl Streep, Bruce Willis, Goldie Hawn
1992

769 Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol
Brad Bird
Tom Cruise, Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg, Paula Patton, Michael Nyqvist, Vladimir Mashkov, Samuli Edelmann, Anil Kapoor, Josh Holloway, Léa Seydoux, Tom Wilkinson
2011

768 Pineapple Express
David Gordon Green
Seth Rogen, James Franco
2008

767 Terminator 2: Judgment Day
James Cameron
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Robert Patrick, Edward Furlong
1991
The Terminator: "Hasta la vista, baby".

766 Little Giant
William A. Seiter
Abbott and Costello
1946

765 Jesus Christ Superstar
Norman Jewison
Ted Neeley, Carl Anderson
1973

764 Cotton Comes to Harlem
Ossie Davis
Redd Foxx, Godfrey Cambridge, Raymond St. Jacques
1970

763 The Matrix Reloaded
Andy Wachowski, Larry Wachowski
Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving
2003

762 Runaway Bride
Garry Marshall
Richard Gere, Julia Roberts, Joan Cusack
1999

761 Menace II Society
Albert Hughes, Allen Hughes
Larenz Tate, Jada Pinkett Smith, Samuel L. Jackson
1993

760 Superman IV: The Quest for Peace
Sidney J. Furie
Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder, Mariel Hemingway, Jon Cryer, Jackie Cooper, Sam Wanamaker
1987

759 Battle of the Bulge
Ken Annakin
Henry Fonda, Dana Andrews, Robert Shaw, Robert Ryan, Ty Hardin, Telly Savalas
1965

758 American History X
Tony Kaye
Edward Norton, Edward Furlong, Beverly D'Angelo, Elliott Gould, Stacy Keach, Fairuza Balk, Jennifer Lien, Avery Brooks
1998

757 Cape Fear
Martin Scorsese
Robert De Niro, Nick Nolte, Jessica Lange, Juliette Lewis, Robert Mitchum, Gregory Peck, Joe Don Baker, Fred Dalton Thompson, Illeana Douglas
1991

756 Lethal Weapon 4
Richard Donner
Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Rene Russo, Chris Rock, Jet Li
1998
Roger Murtaugh: "Since I met you, I done some hairy shit, but this is not gonna happen. I'm gonna be a grandfather; you and Lorna are gonna have a baby. He ain't worth dying for, Riggs. He ain't worth it".
Martin Riggs: "Yeah, yeah, you're right. Hey, if he gets away, we can track him down later on with a - you know, with a Howitzer or somethin'. Your son-in-law's over there bleedin', we should get him and get the hell out of here. Anyway, it's rainin'".
Roger Murtaugh: "Yeah, it's rainin'".
Martin Riggs: "I'm too old for this shit, too".
Roger Murtaugh: "Guy's too damned good".
Martin Riggs: "Well, yeah, he's damn good. I mean, how did he do that thing with the gun? How the hell did he do that? I mean, he took my gun apart with one deft move. How did he do that? Huh? How?"
Roger Murtaugh: "Yeah... okay. Let's go ask him".

755 As Good as It Gets
James L. Brooks
Jack Nicholson, Helen Hunt, Greg Kinnear, Cuba Gooding, Jr.
1997
Receptionist: "How do you write women so well?"
Melvin Udall: "I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability".

754 Executive Decision
Stuart Baird
Kurt Russell, Halle Berry, John Leguizamo, Oliver Platt, Joe Morton, David Suchet, Steven Seagal
1996

753 The Day After Tomorrow
Roland Emmerich
Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal, Emmy Rossum, Ian Holm, Sela Ward
2004

752 The Expendables
Sylvester Stallone
Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, David Zayas, Gisele Itié, Charisma Carpenter, Gary Daniels, Terry Crews, Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger
2010

751 Broken Arrow
John Woo
John Travolta, Christian Slater, Samantha Mathis
1996
Riley Hale: "You know, these exercises are fantastic. When the day comes that we have to go to war against Utah, we're really gonna kick ass, y'know?"

750 Fallen
Gregory Hoblit
Denzel Washington, John Goodman, Embeth Davidtz, James Gandolfini
1998

749 5 Card Stud
Henry Hathaway
Dean Martin, Robert Mitchum, Roddy McDowall, Yaphet Kotto, Inger Stevens
1968

748 World Trade Center
Oliver Stone
Nicolas Cage, Michael Peña, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Maria Bello
2006

747 Flashdance
Adrian Lyne
Jennifer Beals, Michael Nouri, Belinda Bauer
1983

746 Meet the Fockers
Jay Roach
Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro, Teri Polo, Blythe Danner, Dustin Hoffman, Barbra Streisand
2004

745 4 for Texas
Robert Aldrich
Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Ursula Andress, Anita Ekberg
1963

744 Casino
Martin Scorsese
Robert De Niro, Sharon Stone, Joe Pesci, James Woods, Kevin Pollak, Alan King, Don Rickles
1995

743 Entrapment
Jon Amiel
Sean Connery, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Ving Rhames
1999

742 Ali
Michael Mann
Will Smith, Jamie Foxx, Jon Voight
2001

741 Funny Lady
Herbert Ross
Barbra Streisand, James Caan
1975

740 Ray
Taylor Hackford
Jamie Foxx
2004

739 G.I. Joe: The Movie
Don Jurwich
voices of Don Johnson, Burgess Meredith
1987

738 Death Wish 3
Michael Winner
Charles Bronson, Martin Balsam
1985

737 Austin Powers in Goldmember
Jay Roach
Mike Myers, Beyoncé Knowles, Michael Caine
2002
Nigel Powers: "All right Goldmember. Don't play the laughing boy. There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch".

Dr. Evil: "Are those sharks with laser beams attached to their heads?"
Scott Evil: [nods]
Dr. Evil: "Cool! You mean that I actually have frickin' sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their frickin' heads?"

736 We're Not Married!
Edmund Goulding
Ginger Rogers, Marilyn Monroe
1952

735 Rawhide
Henry Hathaway
Tyrone Power, Susan Hayward
1951

734 Are We Done Yet?
Steve Carr
Ice Cube, Nia Long, John C. McGinley, Aleisha Allen
2007

733 First Kid
David Mickey Evans
Sinbad, Brock Pierce
1996

732 I'm Gonna Git You Sucka
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Jim Brown, Isaac Hayes, Bernie Casey
1988

731 The Color of Money
Martin Scorsese
Paul Newman, Tom Cruise, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, John Turturro, Helen Shaver, Forest Whitaker
1986

730 Frost/Nixon
Ron Howard
Frank Langella, Michael Sheen, Kevin Bacon, Sam Rockwell, Toby Jones, Oliver Platt, Rebecca Hall
2008

729 Notting Hill
Roger Michell
Julia Roberts, Hugh Grant, Hugh Bonneville, Emma Chambers, James Dreyfus, Rhys Ifans, Tim McInnerny, Gina McKee
1999

728 Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
Richard Brooks
Elizabeth Taylor, Paul Newman, Burl Ives, Judith Anderson, Madeleine Sherwood, Jack Carson
1958

727 The Postman
Kevin Costner
Kevin Costner, Olivia Williams, Larenz Tate, Will Patton
1997

726 Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood
Paris Barclay
Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Bernie Mac, Keenen Ivory Wayans, Omar Epps
1996

725 High Time
Blake Edwards
Bing Crosby, Fabian, Tuesday Weld, Nicole Maurey
1960

724 Keep 'Em Flying
Arthur Lubin
Abbott and Costello, Martha Raye
1941

723 J. Edgar
Clint Eastwood
Leonardo DiCaprio, Naomi Watts, Armie Hammer, Josh Lucas and Judi Dench, Damon Herriman, Ed Westwick, Jeffrey Donovan, Ken Howard, Stephen Root, Denis O'Hare, Geoff Pierson, Lea Thompson, Gunner Wright
2011

722 Uptown Saturday Night
Sidney Poitier
Sidney Poitier, Bill Cosby, Richard Pryor
1974

721 Broadcast News
James L. Brooks
William Hurt, Albert Brooks, Holly Hunter, Joan Cusack, Robert Prosky, Lois Chiles, Jack Nicholson
1987
[after Paul fires one of his workers]
Paul Moore: "Now, if there's anything I can do for you…"
Employee: "Well, I certainly hope you'll die soon".

720 I Am Legend
Francis Lawrence
Will Smith
2007

719 One More Time
Jerry Lewis
Sammy Davis Jr., Peter Lawford
1970

718 Who's Been Sleeping in My Bed?
Daniel Mann
Dean Martin, Elizabeth Montgomery, Carol Burnett
1963

717 Grapes of Wrath, The
John Ford
Henry Fonda, Jane Darwell, John Carradine
1940

716 The Stooge
Norman Taurog
Dean Martin, Jerry Lewis, Polly Bergen
1953

715 Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco
David R. Ellis
voices of Sally Field, Michael J. Fox
1996

714 Braddock: Missing in Action III
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris
1988

713 Firefox
Clint Eastwood
Clint Eastwood, Nigel Hawthorne
1982

712 Jumanji
Joe Johnston
Robin Williams, Bonnie Hunt, Kirsten Dunst, Bradley Pierce, Jonathan Hyde, David Alan Grier, Bebe Neuwirth
1995

711 Madagascar
Eric Darnell, Tom McGrath
Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, David Schwimmer, Jada Pinkett Smith
2005

710 Gettysburg
Ronald F. Maxwell
Tom Berenger, Jeff Daniels, Martin Sheen, Stephen Lang
1993

709 Aladdin
Ron Clements
voices of Robin Williams, Gilbert Gottfried
1992

708 The Man in the Iron Mask
Randall Wallace
Leonardo DiCaprio, John Malkovich, Gabriel Byrne, Gerard Depardieu, Jeremy Irons
1998

707 Father of the Bride Part II
Charles Shyer
Steve Martin, Diane Keaton, Martin Short, Kimberly Williams-Paisley, George Newbern, Kieran Culkin
1995

706 Gray Lady Down
David Greene
Charlton Heston, Ned Beatty, Ronny Cox
1978

705 Firewall
Richard Loncraine
Harrison Ford, Paul Bettany, Virginia Madsen, Mary Lynn Rajskub
2006

704 The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Andrew Dominik
Brad Pitt, Casey Affleck, Sam Rockwell, Sam Shepard, Mary-Louise Parker, Zooey Deschanel, Paul Schneider, Jeremy Renner
2007

703 One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Milos Forman
Jack Nicholson, Louise Fletcher, Brad Dourif
1975

702 It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
Stanley Kramer
Spencer Tracy, Milton Berle, Mickey Rooney, Ethel Merman, Sid Caesar, Phil Silvers, Dick Shawn, Terry-Thomas, Edie Adams, Dorothy Provine, Peter Falk
1963

701 Rooster Cogburn
Stuart Millar
John Wayne, Katharine Hepburn
1975

Thankful Thursday

I am thankful for No-Name Teri. I am thankful that she cares about me and loves me even though some people think I make fun of her (not sure where they get that from). She’s a great mom and a great teacher and an all around good person. Most of all, she’s the best sister that I have. I don’t want to say too much about her in this post because there’s a pretty big post coming up that is going to have a lot of stuff about her. Still, I can tell you she is very sweet. I’m not sure why she doesn’t get along with Sonny, but I accepted the fact a long time ago that God put me on the earth to be the glue that keeps our generation together. In many ways, it looks like Daniel might be playing that role for my children. I know this is about No-Name Teri right now, but funny story: I had the kids by myself last Saturday and the girls were fighting non-stop. So I finally said, “Mary Ruth… Susie… The one thing Daddy wants more than anything in this whole wide world is for the two of you to love each other and get along with one another and Daniel”. Mary Ruth then said, “Daddy! We DO love Daniel!” Yep, nothing about her loving Susie or Susie loving her… just that they love Daniel. Right then and there I thought ‘This must have been what it was like for Mom and Dad when I was a baby’. I hope Daniel is up to the challenge. Anyway, back to No-Name Teri… Fact is, I love her. And no, I’m not just saying that because of what I’m about to put her through next Tuesday. As The Wife will tell you, I sometimes show love by picking on someone. If this is true, then check back next Tuesday to find out just how much I love her. If you are on the fence about wanting to read the blog next Tuesday, let me remind you it is also Picture Tuesday… how perfect is that!? I’ll talk more about that on another day, but today all you need to know is that No-Name Teri is a great (much)older sister… and I am very thankful for her.

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