If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Happy Birthday Jenn!!!!!!

Know Your Medal of Honor Recipients:

Radio Electrician (Warrant Officer) Thomas James Reeves (US Navy) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on December 7, 1941, on the USS California. His citation reads:

For distinguished conduct in the line of his profession, extraordinary courage and disregard of his own safety during the attack on the Fleet in Pearl Harbor, by Japanese forces on 7 December 1941. After the mechanized ammunition hoists were put out of action in the U.S.S. California, Reeves, on his own initiative, in a burning passageway, assisted in the maintenance of an ammunition supply by hand to the antiaircraft guns until he was overcome by smoke and fire, which resulted in his death.

Quartermaster Jeremiah Regan (US Navy) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on May 15, 1862, on board the U.S.S. Galena. His citation reads:

As captain of No. 2 gun on board the U.S.S. Galena in the attack upon Drewy's Bluff, 15 May 1862. With his ship severely damaged by the enemy's shellfire and several men killed and wounded Regan, continued to man his gun throughout the engagement despite the concentration of fire directed against men at their guns by enemy sharpshooters in rifle pits along the banks.

Ordinary Seaman Patrick Regan (US Navy) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on July 30, 1873, on board the USS Pensacola. His citation reads:

Serving on board the U.S.S. Pensacola, Regan displayed gallant conduct in the harbor of Coquimbor, Chile, 30 July 1873.

We would like to wish our good friend Jenn a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!! We hope Clark and the boys make it a great one!

Today we’re going to look at immigration… It seems to be a pretty big issue in the USA (yesterday, today and probably tomorrow). So I thought I’d give you my views on it. Before I get into this, let me talk about something I saw on TV. It was a protest somewhere (don’t remember where) with people holding signs telling illegal immigrants to “go home” and saying “you aren’t wanted here” (or something like that… I probably shouldn’t have used quotes since I’m not sure if they really said that, but proper writing rules are all relative on here). Then this “hero” (according to the media) walked by and started yelling at this crowd. This “hero” was a “Native American” (i.e. Indian… for those of you old enough to remember playing Cowboys and Indians, not Cowboys and Native Americans) who yelled at the protesters something like “You are all illegal immigrants! We should have held these signs up when you came over!”

Good one, “hero”... Of course, the media types all took up the talk that unless you are this type of “Native American” (Indian), then you are an immigrant (some even said, illegal, but I don’t have the time or energy to point out all of the mistakes I see in the news). I’m getting a little off topic here, but stick with me and I promise to get back to the immigration topic I started on. First, I’d like to point out that I was born in the great state of South Carolina which means that (because of the yankees won the first war and wouldn’t grant a re-match) I was born in America. Therefore, I would be a native of America. Not that it matters, but the same could also be said for my parents and their parents (and so on and so forth… but I’d have to consult Sonny to find out just how so on and so forth). Now, listen to some of these media types and you will hear about how these noble people (who, I can only assume, grew up from the ground… or maybe God created them here… in which case I will regret all of this, but I’ve got some room for more regrets) were living as one with nature when big bad Whitey came over from Europe and sent the whole place to hell. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying there weren’t any peace loving tribes and I’m not saying Whitey did everything right. So try not to misunderstand me when I say get over it. It sounds harsh, I know, but it’s the only way you’ll ever get past it. Listen, I get it. Like the current “Native Americans”, my land was destroyed by a conquering force (also Whitey, come to think of it). And like the current “Native Americans”, it happened long before I was born. I admit that I would get pissed off reading books on the Civil War when I was growing up… until I read The Guns of the South, at which point I realized that alternate history books on the Civil War were far more pleasing to read than actual history books. I would suggest “Native Americans” either read or write an alternate history book to have things play out the way they wish it had. Even then, get over how real life went down.

I am reminded of an exchange between Bobby Bowden and Tommy Bowden after Bobby’s FSU football team had crushed Tommy’s Clemson team. The two met at mid-field and Bobby shook his son’s hand and looked him in the eyes and said, “Get better players”. He didn’t say, “Gosh, I sure am sorry my players kept beating the crap out of your players”… he simply said, “Get better players”. What’s my point? I’m not 100% sure because I got interrupted while writing this, but I think what I was getting at is that Whitey had better players. Yes, the “Native Americans” were here before Whitey… but Whitey came over and bought, traded, lied, cheated, stole and killed to now have the land. I wish it hadn’t gone down this way, but it did. And it’s not like the “Native Americans” went down without a fight. They just needed better players. (Note: My people had the players, we just needed AK-47s… read the book if you don’t get it). Let me just drive home this off-topic topic by saying I don’t think “Native Americans” should live under separate rules or in separate areas from everyone else. I’m not saying forget your history or traditions, I’m just saying it’s time for all of us to be Americans.

Now back to immigration. I happen to like it. Immigration is what got me my Uncle George (who swam all the way from Cuba on a plane to New York City where he stopped, took one look around and said “I’ll be damned if I’m gonna live up here with all these yankees”… So he swam back down the east coast, saw the Morris Island Lighthouse and said, “This is where I shall make my home”). Eventually he went inland with a six pack of PBR to Knightsville to find a wife (because that’s how things were done back then… it was a different time and I feel like we shouldn’t judge). Anyway, Uncle George worked hard and was eventually rewarded with a nephew like me. It wasn’t always easy for him, though… There were times he had to overcome people having trouble understanding him (not because of a Spanish/English issue… he speaks English fine… it’s just that for some time in his life he had a mustache the size of my forearm, so I’m guessing that had to make it hard for people to understand him). My point in this, is that I am not against immigration.

That does not mean, however, that I don’t think some changes need to be made. Of course, I don’t have all of the answers. I have ideas, but I’d love to hear ideas of others. The first thing that should probably change is enforcing the laws on the books now. I’ll be honest and tell you I have no idea what those laws are, I’m just confident that they aren’t enforcing all of them (that seems to happen a lot). The boarder needs to be protected. I know when you usually hear this in the media, it’s being said by Crazy Whitey who doesn’t want immigrants to enter his country. That’s not the case with me (as I’ve already stated). But we do need to protect the border (of course, by “the border” I mean the border with Mexico). There are many reasons to do this… It helps bring order to the immigration process down in that area; It helps keep terrorists from coming in through that now wide open door; And it creates jobs! Sounds like a win-win-win to me.

My other thought is that there needs to be changes in the US immigration process. Again, I fully admit I know nothing of the current process… I’m just basing this opinion on the fact that we seem to have tons of illegal immigrants and, well, I know the federal government enough to believe there’s too much un-needed red tape in the process. Of course, this brings us to the fact that there’s a chance not all illegal immigrants want to become US citizens. Some just want to come and work. Fine… I’ve got no problem with that. I would just like people in this category to be here legally. Of course, doing this might make it hard for them to find work… especially if the minimum wage is raised, but being here legally has to be a must. So what about the people here illegally now? Well, this is where not knowing the current process could cause me some problems… but surely you know by now that I will never let a lack of knowledge on a subject/topic keep me from having an opinion. I would give them a chance to either leave or become legal. If they want to become legal, I would grant them a temporary work visa that will last just long enough for them to get a real visa. So if it takes 90 days to get a work visa, I would grant them a temporary visa for 90 days. If they don’t have a visa after 90 days, but can show they are in the process of getting a visa (it just hasn’t happened yet because Whitey is dragging his feet), I’d grant an extension. But if they just haven’t gotten around to getting one, then they’re out of here. This is just a one-time thing. I know that’s easier said than done, but it should still be said. So what do we do with illegal immigrants after this (because, of course, it’s probably something that will never really go away)?

I would say the first time they are caught, lock them up. When you have enough to fill a plane, send them back. The second time they are caught, send them back on a plane… but this time make them parachute out when the plane is over their country of origin. The third time, they get to jump out of the plane without the parachute. It might sound harsh… but when you consider some people would like to shoot first and ask questions later, I think my idea isn’t all that bad. I have heard that Canada has a good worker-visa program. I have no idea if this is true (or if it is because nobody really wants to work there… kinda like Vermont having good “race relations” because you only see one race when you’re there for a wedding over a long summer weekend), but it would be worth looking at. Now, being here legally to work and wanting to become a US citizen are two different things.

I believe it is harder (and takes longer) to become a US citizen than it is to just be here legally to work (which makes sense to me). I don’t know what is needed to become a citizen, but I do know that speaking English should be one of those things. Listen, if I move to France, I should speak French. If I move to Spain, I should speak Spanish (you get the idea…). I don’t mind foreign languages being taught in school (I wish they started teaching them in first grade), but English is the language in the USA. I’m not sure how long it takes to become a citizen, but you should be able to reduce some of that time with military service (sure, this option won’t be available to everyone, but life isn’t fair). I’m sure I’ll have other ideas come to me later, but that’s all I’ve got right now.

So what about the kids who are flooding into the country now? This is where churches need to step up. Sadly, I think the best/right thing to do (for the most part) is send the kids back. But there does need to be a process to this. Perhaps some of these kids should remain in the US (for various reasons). Regardless, the process to send these kids back isn’t an overnight thing… So these kids need to have somewhere to stay until the process is complete. This is where churches (and various non-profits) can step in and provide temporary shelter/food. What better way to show Jesus’s love? Again, this is something that shouldn’t be needed after this group is sent home as long as the government decides to secure the border.

Having said all of that, I’d be willing to grant immediate citizenship to anyone willing to come stand guard on South Carolina’s northern border to keep yankees from moving down here. That’s not nearly the joke some of you may think it is…

Picture Thursday

MR after getting her braces

She got pink and green

This is where Scooby goes every morning when I go to get in the shower...

I came home one day and found this on my floor... so I decided to find out who did it.

I tried to ask Scooby, but he wouldn't make eye contact.

Maverick looked me in the eyes and told me, "Scooby did it"

I turned back around and saw this... I'm sure he was thinking "Well, this is awkward..."

He still wouldn't look me in the eye

The shame was finally too much for him

It's not enough just to get into my bed... they also have to spread out as much as possible

MR getting braces...

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