So you may have noticed The Wife is following me. That means, of course, I now can’t say half the things I was going to say here. Nah... I’ll still say ‘em.

You might think that the second pregnancy would be easier than the first. After all, she’s already gone through everything once before... so she’ll know what to expect this time. You might think that... and you’d be wrong.

It looks like Baby #2 (let’s call her Susie... because that’s the name we picked for her) is going to be a big baby. I think that’s great. I want us to set some kind of record. Doesn’t have to be a world record... just some kind of record (biggest baby born at that hospital would be fine). The Wife doesn’t agree with me. I think she just lacks ambition.

Speaking of Susie, the due date will be here before too long. For me, it’s like the best of times and the worst of times. Here’s the thing, if this one is anything like the last one, my back is going to be KILLING me by the end of the day. And get this, nobody will care. We’ll be in a freakin’ hospital... I’ll be hurting... and nobody will care! Oh, but when it comes time to pay the bill... THEN they’ll care... they’ll care if I have enough money. I’m just sayin... being a man in a delivery room is like being an offensive lineman, the only time you hear your name called is if you screw up something.

The bad news is we’ll be in the middle of the college football season when this birth happens. The good news is this will all go down before the start of the college basketball season. I should have no problem making it to Winthrop’s first game of the season. I’m sure Big Sister Mary Ruth can help mommy take care of Susie.

I’m a little worried about the dogs once we bring Susie home. Well, I’m not worried about all of the dogs... just one. His name is Scooby, but he has a few aliases (Peckerhead, Gigantor, Scoobers, Goldie, Stoopy, Big pain in my ... well, you get the idea). You see, the other two are veterans. They were around for Mary Ruth. I know how they’ll act (and react). Baby cries: Maverick (like any good male) will go hide... or at least go to the door and act like he is protecting the baby; Lucy will go to the baby and see what is wrong. If possible, she will lick the face of the baby until there is no more crying. But what about Scooby? Will he bark and make things worse? Will he run over Susie? Will he take her toy and chew it up? For his sake, I hope he follows Maverick’s lead and just lays low. That would be his best bet. Just stay out of the way... don’t try to help... the less you do, the less you can be blamed for.