Mailbag, Part 2

Time to catch up on some mail...

Dear I’m just sayin…,

I’m scared! I’ve had a sweet gig for the past few months. I’ve been getting paid to hang out with friends and only do real work about once a month. But starting next month that’s all going to change…. starting January 17th (the middle of January) I’m going to have to work every Sunday! I don’t know if I can do it!

Worried Preacher

Dear Worried,

Let not your heart be troubled, you believe in God… so remember to trust Him and keep Him first and I’m sure this church thing will work out for you. As for having to work more… I feel your pain. I’ve had more and more work to do lately and (get this) my boss is expecting me to get the work done (in a short amount of time, no less!). Honestly, if I wanted this kind of pressure I’d work in the private sector. But enough about me, this is about you. You’ll be fine. Just remember, it’s all about Jesus… but that doesn’t mean you should forget about money. Money pays the bills. I’ll be more than happy to help you in the fundraising department. Speaking of money, remember the advice my first retail boss gave me: In God we trust, all others we check behind. The point… money is a big temptation, so don’t put people in a situation where they’ll be tempted.

Dear I’m just sayin…,

I was out with some friends two weeks ago playing football when one of them got hurt. It turns out he “suffered” a concussion. Well, we had a big game this past Sunday and my friend didn’t play because he told the doctors he was still hurt. What a wimp! How could he leave us hangin’ like that? I said he needed to man up! I’m right, right?

Pissed in Pittsburgh

Dear Pissed,

You’re wrong on this one, my good friend. Trust me when I tell you that when it comes to the brain, you don’t play around. Let’s face it, chances are good that if your friend had played he would have gotten hit hard. Concussions are one thing you shouldn’t “man up” on. Too many close together can kill you. Even if they don’t kill you, they can kill brain cells. What good are all of your accomplishments if you can’t remember them? In my humble opinion, you should sit out AT LEAST one week after a concussion. And hey, if you really care about your friend… don’t let him do anything stupid. And don’t talk bad about him to the press… you’re better than that.

Dear I’m just sayin…,

Hey, it’s Tiger. I need some advice. My wife is pretty pissed at me right now. And to add insult to injury, my girlfriends aren’t calling me back. Where did I go wrong? I’m not a bad guy. People don’t know what it’s like with my wife. It’s always, “Look at the baby”… well what about me? And all these people judging me, they don’t know what it’s like having tons of hot women throwing themselves at me. That kind of thing doesn’t happen to them! It’s not fair!

Tiger

Dear Tiger,

I will give you two answers:

1. You got married. You said I do. Keep it in your pants. And don’t think I don’t know how it feels. I don’t want to brag, so let’s just say you aren’t the only person who has hot women wanting him. I’ve had this “problem” since high school. But guess what? Since I told The Wife “I do”, I’ve told the other women “I don’t”. Of course now, thanks to you, The Wife is starting to question why I took up golf a couple years ago. Thanks, a-hole.

2. What the hell were you thinking? Calling her with your cell phone? Leaving your name on her voicemail? Dude… you have millions of dollars! Think! Pay someone to go tell her. And what the hell is her number doing in your phone? Are you really that stupid? DELETE! I always clear my phone before I get home. The Wife looks through my phone and guess what she’ll find… nothing! If you’re going to play the game that sloppy, stay on the bench.

Cleveland Cavs update: The Cavs played the Bulls tonight (Friday). Their next game is Sunday night against the Bucks.

Winthrop Eagles update: The Eagles lost a close one at home in overtime to preseason favorite Radford on Thursday. The Eagles will face High Point on Saturday night at home. I won't be there... have to go to something that the Cosby hater put together.