Disclaimer

If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.



Saturday, May 20, 2017

Congrats Coach Hatley!!!!

I’ve yet to see anything I would call “official”, but I’ve seen enough on the Facebook to believe that my high school baseball coach (Coach Hatley) has retired. If this is true (and I have no reason right now to doubt it), then I would like to take a minute today to say congrats on a GREAT career. He has played a huge role in my life and I am very thankful that I had the chance to play for him. I will revisit this topic once I’ve seen something official regarding this news.

The I’m just sayin… Top 2,982 Movies of All-Time Countdown


665 St. Elmo's Fire
Joel Schumacher
Rob Lowe, Emilio Estevez, Demi Moore, Judd Nelson, Ally Sheedy, Andrew McCarthy, Andie MacDowell
1985

664 Braveheart
Mel Gibson
Mel Gibson, Sophie Marceau, Catherine McCormack, Patrick McGoohan
1995

663 Con Air
Simon West
Nicolas Cage, John Cusack, John Malkovich, Steve Buscemi
1997

662 Step Brothers
Adam McKay
Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Richard Jenkins, Mary Steenburgen, Adam Scott, Kathryn Hahn
2008
Brennan Huff: I swear, I'm so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she's of age, I'm putting her in a home.

661 Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man
Simon Wincer
Mickey Rourke, Don Johnson, Tom Sizemore, Tia Carrere
1991

660 Nothing but Trouble
Dan Aykroyd
Chevy Chase, Demi Moore, John Candy, Dan Aykroyd
1991

659 Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Frank Oz
Michael Caine, Steve Martin, Glenne Headly
1988

658 Are We There Yet?
Brian Levant
Ice Cube
2005

657 Fool's Gold
Andy Tennant
Matthew McConaughey, Kate Hudson
2008

656 Funny Face
Stanley Donen
Audrey Hepburn, Fred Astaire, Kay Thompson
1957

655 The Departed
Martin Scorsese
Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson, Mark Wahlberg, Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen, Vera Farmiga, Ray Winstone
2006

654 Half Baked
Tamra Davis
Dave Chappelle, Jim Breuer, Guillermo Diaz, Clarence Williams III
1998

653 Mud
Jeff Nichols
Matthew McConaughey, Reese Witherspoon, Michael Shannon, Sarah Paulson, Sam Shepard, Stuart Greer, Joe Don Baker, Paul Sparks, Ray McKinnon, Tye Sheridan, Jacob Lofland, Michael Abbott Jr.
2013

652 Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
Guy Ritchie
Robert Downey, Jr., Jude Law, Noomi Rapace, Jared Harris, Eddie Marsan and Rachel McAdams, Stephen Fry, Geraldine James, Kelly Reilly
2011

651 Wild Wild West
Barry Sonnenfeld
Will Smith, Kevin Kline, Kenneth Branagh, Salma Hayek
1999

650 The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie
Mike Nawrocki
Mike Nawrocki, Phil Vischer, Tim Hodge
2008

649 Hang 'Em High
Ted Post
Clint Eastwood, Inger Stevens, Ed Begley, Pat Hingle
1968

648 The Blind Side
John Lee Hancock
Sandra Bullock, Kathy Bates, Tim McGraw, Ray McKinnon, Quinton Aaron
2009
Leigh Anne Touhy: Michael, I want you to have a good time but if you get a girl pregnant out of wedlock, I will crawl into the car, drive up to Oxford and cut off your penis.
S.J. Tuohy: She means it.

647 The Accused
Jonathan Kaplan
Kelly McGillis, Jodie Foster
1988

646 Bugsy
Barry Levinson
Warren Beatty, Annette Bening, Ben Kingsley, Harvey Keitel, Joe Mantegna, Elliott Gould, Wendy Phillips, Bebe Neuwirth, Bill Graham
1991

645 Deep Impact
Mimi Leder
Robert Duvall, Téa Leoni, Morgan Freeman, Elijah Wood, Vanessa Redgrave, Maximilian Schell, Leelee Sobieski
1998

644 Higher Learning
John Singleton
Omar Epps, Kristy Swanson, Ice Cube, Jennifer Connelly, Michael Rapaport, Laurence Fishburne
1995

643 Splash
Ron Howard
Daryl Hannah, Tom Hanks, John Candy, Eugene Levy
1984

642 Black Mass
Scott Cooper
Johnny Depp, Joel Edgerton, Benedict Cumberbatch, Sienna Miller, Dakota Johnson, Juno Temple, Corey Stoll, Peter Sarsgaard
2015

641 Little Miss Sunshine
Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris
Greg Kinnear, Steve Carell, Toni Collette, Paul Dano, Abigail Breslin, Alan Arkin
2006
Frank: Good night Dwayne.
Dwayne: [scribbles on notepad] Don't kill yourself tonight.
Frank: Not on your watch Dwayne. I wouldn't do that to you.
Dwayne: [on notepad] Welcome to hell.
Frank: Thanks Dwayne. Coming from you that means a lot.

640 Pleasantville
Gary Ross
Tobey Maguire, Reese Witherspoon, Jeff Daniels, Joan Allen, William H. Macy, J.T. Walsh, Don Knotts
1998

639 Four Brothers
John Singleton
Mark Wahlberg, Tyrese Gibson, Andre Benjamin, Garrett Hedlund, Terrence Howard
2005

638 Tootsie
Sydney Pollack
Dustin Hoffman, Jessica Lange, Teri Garr, Charles Durning, Bill Murray, Dabney Coleman, George Gaynes, Geena Davis
1982

637 Semi-Pro
Kent Alterman
Will Ferrell, Woody Harrelson, André Benjamin
2008
Jackie Moon: Everybody panic! Oh my God, there's a bear loose in the coliseum! There will be no refunds! Your refund will be escaping this deathtrap with your life! If you have a small child, use it as a shield! They love the tender meat! Cover your sodas! Dewie loves sugar!

636 Payback
Brian Helgeland
Mel Gibson, James Coburn, Kris Kristofferson, David Paymer, Gregg Henry, William Devane, Deborah Kara Unger, Maria Bello, Lucy Liu
1995

635 The Outlaw Josey Wales
Clint Eastwood
Clint Eastwood, Chief Dan George, Sam Bottoms, John Vernon
1976

634 Seabiscuit
Gary Ross
Tobey Maguire, Jeff Bridges, Chris Cooper, Elizabeth Banks, William H. Macy, Gary Stevens
2003

633 Key Largo
John Huston
Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, Edward G. Robinson
1948

632 I'll Never Heil Again
Jules White
The Three Stooges
1941

631 Coyote Ugly
David McNally
Piper Perabo, Adam Garcia, Tyra Banks, John Goodman
2000

630 Blues Brothers 2000
John Landis
Dan Aykroyd, John Goodman, Joe Morton, J. Evan Bonifant, Nia Peeples
1998

629 Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Amy Heckerling
Sean Penn, Judge Reinhold, Phoebe Cates, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Robert Romanus, Brian Backer, Ray Walston
1982

628 Juice
Ernest R. Dickerson
Tupac Shakur, Omar Epps
1992

627 Uncle Buck
John Hughes
John Candy, Amy Madigan, Jean Louisa Kelly, Macaulay Culkin, Gaby Hoffmann
1989

626 Dead Man Walking
Tim Robbins
Susan Sarandon, Sean Penn
1995

625 Shooter
Antoine Fuqua
Mark Wahlberg, Danny Glover, Michael Pena, Ned Beatty
2007

624 How the West Was Won
John Ford, Henry Hathaway, George Marshall
James Stewart, Debbie Reynolds, Carroll Baker, Karl Malden, Gregory Peck, Richard Widmark, John Wayne
1962

623 You, Me and Dupree
Joe Russo, Anthony Russo
Owen Wilson, Kate Hudson, Matt Dillon, Michael Douglas
2006

622 Good Night, and Good Luck
George Clooney
David Strathairn, Patricia Clarkson, George Clooney, Jeff Daniels, Robert Downey, Jr.
2005

621 Almost Famous
Cameron Crowe
Billy Crudup, Frances McDormand, Kate Hudson, Jason Lee, Patrick Fugit, Anna Paquin, Fairuza Balk
2000

620 The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear
David Zucker
Leslie Nielsen, Priscilla Presley, George Kennedy, O. J. Simpson, Robert Goulet
1991

619 Analyze That
Harold Ramis
Robert De Niro, Billy Crystal, Lisa Kudrow
2002

618 Antz
Eric Darnell, Tim Johnson
Voices of Woody Allen, Gene Hackman, Jennifer Lopez, Danny Glover, Dan Aykroyd, Jane Curtin, Sylvester Stallone, Sharon Stone
1998

617 Back to the Future Part III
Robert Zemeckis
Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Mary Steenburgen
1990
Marty McFly: Listen, you got a back door to this place?
Bartender: Yeah, it's in the back.

616 Lilo & Stitch
Chris Sanders, Dean DeBlois
Daveigh Chase, Chris Sanders, Tia Carrere
2002

615 Public Enemies
Michael Mann
Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, Marion Cotillard, Channing Tatum, David Wenham, Stephen Graham, Giovanni Ribisi, Stephen Dorff, Billy Crudup
2009
John Dillinger: We're having too good a time today. We ain't thinking about tomorrow.

614 Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Doug Liman
Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie
2005
Eddie: This broad is not your wife, she's the enemy.
John Smith: She tried to kill me.
Eddie: They all try to kill you. Slowly, painfully, cripplingly, and then wham. They hurt you. How you going to handle it?
John Smith: [grabs assault rifle] I'm going to borrow this.
Eddie: I like where your head's at, man.

John Smith: We have an unusual problem here, Jane. You obviously want me dead, and I'm less and less concerned for your well-being.

Eddie: Tell me you got smart and that you killed that lying bitch.
Jane Smith: This lying bitch?
Eddie: Guess that was just wishful thinking.

John Smith: [at marriage counseling] Ask us the sex question.
Jane Smith: [whispers] John.
John Smith: [softly with his fingers out for ten] Ten.

613 Enemy of the State
Tony Scott
Will Smith, Gene Hackman, Jon Voight, Barry Pepper, Regina King, Lisa Bonet
1998

612 Marley & Me
David Frankel
Owen Wilson, Jennifer Aniston
2008

611 Flight
Robert Zemeckis
Denzel Washington, Brian Geraghty, Nadine Velazquez, Bruce Greenwood, John Goodman, Kelly Reilly, Don Cheadle, Melissa Leo
2012

610 Furious 7
James Wan
Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson, Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Chris Bridges, Jordana Brewster, Jason Statham, Kurt Russell, Lucas Black, Djimon Hounsou, Tony Jaa, Ronda Rousey, Nathalie Emmanuel
2015

609 Perfect Strangers
Bretaigne Windust
Ginger Rogers, Dennis Morgan
1950

608 Drumline
Charles Stone III
Nick Cannon, Zoe Saldana, Orlando Jones
2002

607 Airport 1975
Jack Smight
Charlton Heston, Karen Black, Gloria Swanson, George Kennedy, Susan Clark, Linda Blair, Myrna Loy,
1974

606 Bruce Almighty
Tom Shadyac
Jim Carrey, Morgan Freeman, Jennifer Aniston, Steve Carell
2003
Bruce: Yes, behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes, folks!

605 The Buddy Holly Story
Steve Rash
Gary Busey, Charles Martin Smith, Don Stroud
1978

604 Toy Story 2
John Lasseter, Lee Unkrich, Ash Brannon
voices of Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Annie Potts, Don Rickles
1999
Buzz Lightyear: I'll never give in. You killed my father!
Emperor Zurg: No, Buzz. I *am* your father!
Buzz Lightyear: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

603 All the Right Moves
Michael Chapman
Tom Cruise, Craig T. Nelson, Lea Thompson, Chris Penn
1983

602 2012
Roland Emmerich
John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Danny Glover, Thandie Newton, Oliver Platt, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Woody Harrelson
2009

601 Kung Fu Panda 2
Jennifer Yuh
Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie, Ian McShane, Seth Rogen, Lucy Liu, David Cross, James Hong, Jackie Chan, Victor Garber, Michelle Yeoh, Dennis Haysbert, Gary Oldman, Danny McBride, James Woods, Jean-Claude Van Damme
2011

600 Stakeout
John Badham
Richard Dreyfuss, Emilio Estevez, Madeleine Stowe, Aidan Quinn
1987

599 Basic
John McTiernan
John Travolta, Connie Nielsen, Samuel L. Jackson
2003

598 Grumpy Old Men
Donald Petrie
Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau, Ann-Margret, Daryl Hannah
1993

597 Now You See Me
Louis Letterrier
Jesse Eisenberg, Isla Fisher, Morgan Freeman, Woody Harrelson, Mark Ruffalo, Michael Caine, Common, Dave Franco, Elias Koteas, Laura Cayouette, David Warshofsky
2013

596 Batman
Leslie H. Martinson
Adam West, Burt Ward, Lee Meriwether, Cesar Romero, Burgess Meredith
1966

595 The Alamo
John Wayne
John Wayne, Richard Widmark, Laurence Harvey, Chill Wills
1960

594 Moulin Rouge!
Baz Luhrmann
Nicole Kidman, Ewan McGregor
2001

593 Meet Joe Black
Martin Brest
Brad Pitt, Anthony Hopkins, Claire Forlani, Jake Weber, Jeffrey Tambor, Marcia Gay Harden
1998

592 Miss Congeniality
Donald Petrie
Sandra Bullock, Benjamin Bratt, Michael Caine, William Shatner, Candice Bergen
2000

591 Casualties of War
Brian De Palma
Michael J. Fox, Sean Penn
1989

590 Shaft
John Singleton
Samuel L. Jackson, Vanessa Williams, Jeffrey Wright, Richard Roundtree, Christian Bale
2000

589 S.W.A.T.
Clark Johnson
Samuel L. Jackson, Colin Farrell, Michelle Rodriguez, LL Cool J
2003

588 Seems Like Old Times
Jay Sandrich
Chevy Chase, Goldie Hawn, Charles Grodin
1980
Nick Gardenia: I think the three of us make a wonderful pair.

587 Rambo III
Sylvester Stallone
Sylvester Stallone
1988
[Rambo and Colonel Trautman stand alone facing an enemy army]
Colonel Trautman: What do we do?
Rambo: Well, surrounding them's out of the question…

586 Dead Reckoning
John Cromwell
Humphrey Bogart, Lizabeth Scott
1947

585 Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
Justin Chadwick
Idris Elba, Naomie Harris, Tony Kgoroge, Riaad Moosa, Zolani Mkiva, Jamie Bartlett, Lindiwe Matshikiza, Deon Lotz, Terry Pheto
2013

584 That Hagen Girl
Peter Godfrey
Ronald Reagan, Shirley Temple
1947

583 Superman III
Richard Lester
Christopher Reeve, Richard Pryor, Robert Vaughn, Annette O'Toole
1983

582 Happy Feet
George Miller, Warren Coleman, Judy Morris
Elijah Wood, Robin Williams, Brittany Murphy, Hugh Jackman
2006

581 Stir Crazy
Sidney Poitier
Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder
1980

580 Gone in 60 Seconds
Dominic Sena
Nicolas Cage, Giovanni Ribisi, Angelina Jolie, Robert Duvall
2000

579 Evan Almighty
Tom Shadyac
Steve Carell, Morgan Freeman, Lauren Graham, John Goodman, Wanda Sykes
2007
Eugene: [to Evan] I love you!... I mean, I think we should hang out socially... I have a new ping pong table.

578 Funny Farm
George Roy Hill
Chevy Chase, Madolyn Smith
1988
Andy Farmer: As a novelist, I turned out to be a pretty good sportswriter.

577 Toy Story 3
Lee Unkrich
Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack, Ned Beatty, Don Rickles, Michael Keaton, Wallace Shawn, John Ratzenberger, Estelle Harris, John Morris, Jodi Benson, Laurie Metcalf, Blake Clark, Teddy Newton, Bud Luckey, Timothy Dalton, Lori Alan, Kristen Schaal, Jeff Garlin, Bonnie Hunt, John Cygan, Jeff Pidgeon, Whoopi Goldberg, Jack Angel, R. Lee Ermey, Jan Rabson, Richard Kind
2010

576 Hellcats of the Navy
Nathan Juran
Ronald Reagan, Nancy Davis
1957

575 Any Given Sunday
Oliver Stone
Al Pacino, Dennis Quaid, Cameron Diaz, Jamie Foxx, James Woods, LL Cool J, John C. McGinley, Ann-Margret, Jim Brown
1999

574 Brave
Mark Andrews/Brenda Chapman/Steve Purcell
Kelly Macdonald, Julie Walters, Billy Connolly, Emma Thompson, Kevin McKidd, Craig Ferguson, Robbie Coltrane
2012

573 The Juror
Brian Gibson
Demi Moore, Alec Baldwin, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, James Gandolfini, Anne Heche, Lindsay Crouse
1996

572 The Adjustment Bureau
George Nolfi
Matt Damon, Emily Blunt, Anthony Mackie, Shoreh Aghdashloo, John Slattery, Michael Kelly, Anthony Ruivivar, Terence Stamp
2011

571 Lone Wolf McQuade
Steve Carver
Chuck Norris, David Carradine, Barbara Carrera
1983

570 The Great Gatsby
Jack Clayton
Robert Redford, Mia Farrow, Sam Waterston, Bruce Dern
1974

569 The Jackal
Michael Caton-Jones
Bruce Willis, Richard Gere, Sidney Poitier, Diane Venora
1997

568 Flags of Our Fathers
Clint Eastwood
Ryan Phillippe, Jesse Bradford, Adam Beach
2006

567 The Tender Trap
Charles Walters
Frank Sinatra, Debbie Reynolds, Celeste Holm
1955

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