Funeral Talk

The following is what I said at the funeral. Getting a chance to speak at MaMa's funeral was a huge honor for me and I didn't want to screw it up. I'm sure some of you think it's no big deal, just speak from the heart and everything would be ok. Here's the thing, I'm starting to think it's physically impossible for me to be completely serious in any situation. I try. I really have. But as soon as I say something that gets a laugh, I can't control myself. Laughter is like a drug to me. The only way I can be 100% serious in any situation is to not say anything. So I made sure to type up what I wanted to say and then made sure to stick to the script. So I couldn't help but say some things in hopes of getting a laugh. I didn't plan on it... but in the end I just couldn't help it. And really, it didn't help that I kept thinking about my grandfather's funeral. The preacher back then started with a couple of jokes and just rocked the crowd. I mean, it was great. So I had to at least try for a laugh or two. The key, I knew, would be to not over do it. The other thing I was worried about, of course, was crying. I'm happy to say I made it through without crying. There were times I thought I might... but I didn't. And that's good because I didn't want to hear about it from Sonny for the rest of my life. Anyway, here is what I said...

Some of you knew her as Mrs. Horres. Some of you knew her as Ruth. To her grands and great-grands she was MaMa… and she was my best friend. She was also my protector. It might be hard to believe looking at us now, but there was a time when I was the smallest in the family. Let me tell you, growing up with a brother who is 9 years older and a sister who is 7 years older can be hard at times. When they would be mean to me (which seemed to happen quite a bit), it was MaMa that would come to my rescue. It’s funny… even as I got older and bigger… and bigger… and bigger, I never stopped thinking of her as my protector… even as I sat talking to her last week I felt a little safer just sitting next to her.

My wife Jennifer will probably tell you that MaMa spoiled me (which has made her job as my wife that much harder). The truth is, however, MaMa didn’t let me get away with everything. There were times she would scold me. It would usually happen when I was mad at my parents and I’d be telling her about it. I would tell her what I was going to say to them and when I went too far she would say, “Greggie! One day that mouth is going to get you in trouble”. I won’t tell you how often that happened… let’s just say that little voice in your head that warns you when you’re about to do something bad… that voice in my head sounds like MaMa.

I’m going to miss her. I’m going to miss the way she made George Jr. sound like one word and the way she made Keith sound like two. I’ll miss the way she could keep a secret. If you told MaMa something (even if it wasn’t a secret), she would keep it to herself unless you told her she could tell someone else. She knew long before anyone else in my family that I was going to propose to Jennifer. I’m going to miss our talks. We’d talk about any and everything, but a favorite subject was always family. She loved all of her family and loved to talk about my siblings and cousins. She thought Kevin was a great leader and, frankly, was tickled pink to find out he fills in for the preacher at his church from time to time. She thought Jason was a hard worker, which was something she was proud of. She thought Teri was so great working with children. As for Scott, well there was no doubt in her mind that he was the smartest person she knew.

She loved her family… and she loved her friends like they were her family. My grandfather was the type of person who would see the good in every stranger he met. He could be that way, because MaMa was not so trusting of strangers. She was polite… she wasn’t mean or anything… but until you earned her trust, she was watching you to make sure you didn’t hurt anyone she loved. So if you were her friend, I hope you know just how special you are and how much you meant to her. She had great friends and I’d like to mention one in particular. Mr. Louie Coccula, a member of this church, was a good friend to my grandparents. After my grandfather died, Mr. Louie made it his job to visit MaMa to make sure she was ok… and that was something he did faithfully for the past 15 years. I pray that when my time comes, I have friends as faithful and as loyal as him to check on Jennifer.

It’s funny… this celebration of MaMa’s life that we are having right now. I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if she were sitting here with us right now she would be hating this. She hated being the center of attention. She never wanted big parties thrown in her honor. I can hear her now saying “Greggie, why are all of these people here making a fuss over me? I wish y’all hadn’t gone through all of this trouble for me.” Well, if you take a look at Luke 14:11 you’ll see that everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.

I am glad we’ve been given the chance today to honor a woman who lived a life of humility.