Post 1: Gray Hair and Wost Defense EVER

Today we are going to have two posts, so check back some time after 6:00 for post number 2.

I was sitting on a stool at the end of our bed this morning getting ready to get ready for work while Mary Ruth was watching Handy Manny on TV. As I sat there, she came up behind me and started looking at my head. She then proceeded to say, “Wow Daddy, you sure have a lot of hair. Some of it is even black”. The rest, I was told, is gray. I told her the black hair came from her, Susie, Maverick, and Lucy. The gray hair comes from Mommy and Scooby. My Dad has had gray hair longer than I’ve been alive. The only pictures of him with dark hair are from his pre-marriage days. I have yet to see a picture of him after his wedding day that shows him with no gray hair. Interesting....

An alert reader in Summerville sent me a link to an article in the Post and Courier today. Now, we at I’m just sayin... take crimes against children very serious and we would never make fun of such things. There is, however, a gray area in our policy regarding defenses used by people being charged with crimes against children. I’m going to make an executive decision and talk about this one. I must ask that you read the article before you read what I’m about to write (otherwise it probably won't make sense). Let me start by saying I don’t even think it’s a good defense. I can say without a doubt it’s a defense I’d never use. Ever. I was discussing this with a panel of advisors earlier and it got me to thinking. I can see how maybe he was talked into this. His lawyer is a big time defense lawyer in the area... so I could see how maybe things aren’t looking too good so he says to this guy “Hey, either you let me bring this up in court or you’re going to go to jail. This is the ONLY way to keep you out of jail. As your lawyer, I’m telling you we HAVE to do this”. So the guy says ok. I get that. But at the “moment of truth” in court when the lawyer is about to question the doctor, how does this guy not have second thoughts and yell “OBJECTION! That doctor is a lying SOB who doesn't know what he's talking about!"? I mean, you can't just sit there and listen to what he's saying. Maybe at least yell "That's not what your wife said last night!" after the doctor said what he said. If anything, I hope he looked at his lawyer and said "You sure as hell better hope this keeps me out of jail". His lawyer is good, don’t get me wrong... but I don’t care if it was Ben Freakin' Matlock as the lawyer, I don’t see how he could go through with this defense. If I were him, I’d do anything possible to cut a deal right now. And since you asked, here’s my idea: I’d go to the prosecution and say if you give me double secret probation (i.e. just about anything other than jail time) I will agree to do all the public service announcements you want me to do. We can tell people that my “condition” stems from me doing (insert drug here... something like Meth, Pot, Crack, Steroids... I don’t know... whatever the prosecution thinks would be best). I don’t know everything, but I’m pretty confident that this would work. You tell pre-teen/teenage boys that doing drugs could scramble their brains and possibly kill them you might keep some from trying drugs (that was enough for me). But there are still a lot of boys that will think the potential risks don’t outweigh the potential rewards. But if you tell them that doing drugs will cause THIS to happen... well, that’s something that will get their attention and make them think long and hard (no pun intended) about trying drugs. I could be wrong, but I doubt it.

Don’t forget to check back at 6:00 for what could be my last post ever (though hopefully not).