Disclaimer

If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.



Sunday, May 27, 2012

Almost to the Top 100…

Know Your Medal of Honor Recipients:

Private First Class William Adelbert Foster (US Marine Corps) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on May 2, 1945, on Okinawa Shima in the Ryukyu Chain. His citation reads:

For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty while serving as a rifleman with the 3d Battalion, 1st Marines, 1st Marine Division, in action against enemy Japanese forces on Okinawa Shima in the Ryukyu Chain 2 May 1945. Dug in with another marine on the point of the perimeter defense after waging a furious assault against a strongly fortified Japanese position, Pfc. Foster and his comrade engaged in a fierce hand grenade duel with infiltrating enemy soldiers. Suddenly an enemy grenade landed beyond reach in the foxhole. Instantly diving on the deadly missile, Pfc. Foster absorbed the exploding charge in his own body, thereby protecting the other marine from serious injury. Although mortally wounded as a result of his heroic action, he quickly rallied, handed his own remaining 2 grenades to his comrade and said, "Make them count." Stouthearted and indomitable, he had unhesitatingly relinquished his own chance of survival that his fellow marine might carry on the relentless fight against a fanatic enemy, and his dauntless determination, cool decision and valiant spirit of self-sacrifice in the face of certain death reflect the highest credit upon Pfc. Foster and upon the U.S. Naval Service. He gallantly gave his life in the service of his country.

First Lieutenant Douglas B. Fournet (US Army) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on May 4, 1968, at A Shau Valley, Republic of Vietnam. His citation reads:

For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity in action at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty. 1st Lt. Fournet, Infantry, distinguished himself in action while serving as rifle platoon leader of the 2d Platoon, Company B. While advancing uphill against fortified enemy positions in the A Shau Valley, the platoon encountered intense sniper fire, making movement very difficult. The right flank man suddenly discovered an enemy claymore mine covering the route of advance and shouted a warning to his comrades. Realizing that the enemy would also be alerted, 1st Lt. Fournet ordered his men to take cover and ran uphill toward the mine, drawing a sheath knife as he approached it. With complete disregard for his safety and realizing the imminent danger to members of his command, he used his body as a shield in front of the mine as he attempted to slash the control wires leading from the enemy positions to the mine. As he reached for the wire the mine was detonated, killing him instantly. Five men nearest the mine were slightly wounded, but 1st Lt. Fournet's heroic and unselfish act spared his men of serious injury or death. His gallantry and willing self-sacrifice are in keeping with the highest traditions of the military service and reflect great credit upon himself, his unit, and the U.S. Army.

Private Frank O. Fournia (US Army) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on July 1, 1898, at Santiago, Cuba. His citation reads:

Gallantly assisted in the rescue of the wounded from in front of the lines and while under heavy fire of the enemy.


The I’m just sayin… Top 2,613 Movies of All-Time Countdown

150 The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!
David Zucker
Leslie Nielsen, Priscilla Presley, George Kennedy, O.J. Simpson
1988
Frank: "It's true what they say: Cops and women don't mix. It's like eating a spoonful of Drano; sure, it'll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow inside".

Frank: "It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day".
Jane: "Goodyear?"
Frank: "No, the worst".

Frank: [sings] "Oh say can you see / By the dawn's early light / What so proudly we hail / In the twilight's last gleaming? / Whose bright stripes and broad stars / In the perilous night / For the ramparts we watched / uh, da-da-da-da-da-daaaa. / And the rocket's red glare / Lots of bombs in the air / Gave proof to the night / That we still had our flag. / Oh say does that flag banner wave / Over a-a-all that's free / And the home of the land / And the land of the - FREE!"

149 Unforgiven
Clint Eastwood
Clint Eastwood, Gene Hackman, Morgan Freeman, Richard Harris
1992

148 Days of Thunder
Tony Scott
Tom Cruise, Robert Duvall, Randy Quaid, Nicole Kidman, Cary Elwes
1990
Harry Hogge: "Cole, you're wandering all over the track!"
Cole Trickle: "Yeah, well this sonofabitch just slammed into me".
Harry Hogge: "No, no, he didn't slam you, he didn't bump you, he didn't nudge you... he *rubbed* you. And rubbin, son, is racin'".

147 Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
George Lucas
Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen
2002
Obi-Wan Kenobi [to Anakin]: "Why do I get the feeling you're going to be the death of me?"

Anakin: "I've got a bad feeling about this".

146 K-9
Rod Daniel
James Belushi, Mel Harris
1989

145 The Karate Kid
John G. Avildsen
Ralph Macchio, Pat Morita, Elisabeth Shue, William Zabka
1984
Miyagi: "Wax on... wax off. Wax on... wax off".

Kreese: "Sweep the leg".

144 Lethal Weapon
Richard Donner
Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Gary Busey
1987

143 Boyz n the Hood
John Singleton
Ice Cube, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Morris Chestnut, Laurence Fishburne, Angela Bassett, Nia Long
1991

142 Rush Hour
Brett Ratner
Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker, Tom Wilkinson
1998

141 Thirteen Days
Roger Donaldson
Kevin Costner, Bruce Greenwood, Dylan Baker, Steven Culp, Len Cariou, Kevin Conway
2000

140 Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
David Yates
Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Michael Gambon, Imelda Staunton, Helena Bonham Carter, Gary Oldman, Ralph Fiennes
2007

139 The Pelican Brief
Alan J. Pakula
Julia Roberts, Denzel Washington, John Lithgow, Sam Shepard
1993

138 Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
Rawson Marshall Thurber
Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller, Christine Taylor, Rip Torn
2004
Lance Armstrong: "Could I get a bottle of water. - - Hey, aren't you Peter La Fleur?"
Peter La Fleur: "Lance Armstrong!"
Lance Armstrong: "Yeah, that's me. But I'm a big fan of yours".
Peter La Fleur: "Really?"
Lance Armstrong: "Yeah, I've been watching the dodgeball tournament on the Ocho. ESPN 8. I just can't get enough of it. But, good luck in the tournament. I'm really pulling for you against those jerks from Globo Gym. I think you better hurry up or you're gonna be late".
Peter La Fleur: "Uh, actually I decided to quit... Lance".
Lance Armstrong: "Quit? You know, once I was thinking about quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer, all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and I won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I'm sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying from that's keeping you from the finals?"
Peter La Fleur: "Right now it feels a little bit like... shame".
Lance Armstrong: "Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life. But good luck to you Peter. I'm sure this decision won't haunt you forever".

Cotton McKnight: "I'm being told that Average Joe's does not have enough players and will be forfeiting the championship match".
Pepper Brooks: "It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for 'em".

Cotton McKnight: "Ladies and gentlemen, I have been to the Great Wall of China, I have seen the Pyramids of Egypt, I've even witnessed a grown man satisfy a camel. But never in all my years as a sportscaster have I witnessed something as improbable, as impossible, as what we've witnessed here today!"

137 Rudy
David Anspaugh
Sean Astin, Charles S. Dutton, Ned Beatty, Jon Favreau
1993

136 Above the Law
Andrew Davis
Steven Seagal, Pam Grier, Sharon Stone
1988

135 Rocky IV
Sylvester Stallone
Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Carl Weathers, Brigitte Nielsen
1985
Rocky: "I see three of him out there".
Paulie: "Hit the one in the middle".
Duke: "Right! Hit the one in the middle".

Paulie: "I know sometimes I act stupid and I say stupid things, but you kept me around and other people would have said 'drop that bum'. You give me respect. You know it's kinda hard for me to say these kinda things, cuz it ain't my way, but if I could just unzip myself and step out and be someone else, I'd wanna be you. You're all heart, Rock".

[Drago has just entered the ring]
Paulie: "Uh, Rock, you remember what I said about wantin' to be you?"
Rocky: "Yeah".
Paulie: "Forget it".
[exits the ring]
Rocky: "Thanks, Paulie".

Duke: "He's worried! You cut him! You hurt him! You see? You see? He's not a machine, he's a man!"

Duke: "All your strength, all your power, all your love. Everything you've got. Right now!"

134 Porgy and Bess
Otto Preminger
Sidney Poitier, Dorothy Dandridge, Sammy Davis, Jr., Pearl Bailey, Diahann Carroll, Brock Peters
1959

133 Best in Show
Christopher Guest
Parker Posey, Michael McKean, Catherine O'Hara, Eugene Levy, Michael Hitchcock, Jane Lynch, Jennifer Coolidge, Fred Willard
2000
Hamilton Swan [to his dog before the dog show]: "Don't look at the fat ass losers or freaks, look at me!"

132 Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
Irvin Kershner
Carrie Fisher, Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, Billy Dee Williams
1980
Princess Leia: "Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerf herder".
Han Solo: "Who's scruffy-looking?"

C-3PO: "Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1".
Han Solo: "Never tell me the odds".

Han Solo: "Laugh it up, fuzzball".

Yoda: "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try".

Darth Vader: "If you only knew the power of the Dark Side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father".
Luke: "He told me enough! He told me *you* killed him!"

Darth Vader: "No. *I* am your father".

Princess Leia: "I have a bad feeling about this..."

131 Batman Begins
Christopher Nolan
Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Liam Neeson, Katie Holmes, Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman
2005

130 The Cannonball Run
Hal Needham
Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLuise, Farrah Fawcett, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Roger Moore, Jackie Chan
1981

129 Another 48 Hrs.
Walter Hill
Eddie Murphy, Nick Nolte
1990

128 Terms of Endearment
James L. Brooks
Shirley MacLaine, Debra Winger, Jack Nicholson, Jeff Daniels, Danny DeVito, John Lithgow
1983

127 Batman
Tim Burton
Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson, Kim Basinger, Robert Wuhl, Jack Palance, Billy Dee Williams
1989

126 It's a Wonderful Life
Frank Capra
James Stewart, Donna Reed, Lionel Barrymore
1946

125 For Love of the Game
Sam Raimi
Kevin Costner, Kelly Preston, John C. Reilly, Brian Cox
1999

124 Eight Men Out
John Sayles
John Cusack, Charlie Sheen, David Strathairn, John Mahoney, Clifton James, D. B. Sweeney, Studs Terkel
1988

123 Rumor Has It...
Rob Reiner
Jennifer Aniston, Kevin Costner, Shirley MacLaine, Mark Ruffalo
2005
Sarah: "Maybe every girl in my family have to sleep with you".
Beau Burroughs: "I don't know if they have to, but they certainly have".

Katherine: "Come on in, I'll put on a pot of Bourbon".

Katherine: [meeting Jeff] "You don't look like a lawyer..."
Jeff: "You don't look like a Grandma".
Katherine: "You ARE a lawyer! Full of shit".

Katharine: "Life is short, but marriage is long... so drink up, and it will make it go a hell of a lot faster".

122 Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
Frank Capra
James Stewart, Jean Arthur, Claude Rains
1939

121 Rocky III
Sylvester Stallone
Sylvester Stallone, Carl Weathers, Talia Shire, Burgess Meredith, Burt Young, Mr. T, Hulk Hogan
1982
Clubber Lang: "I pity the fool"

Interviewer: "What's your prediction for the fight?"
Clubber Lang: "My prediction?"
Interviewer: "Yes, your prediction".
[Clubber looks into camera]
Clubber Lang: "Pain!"

Apollo Creed: "Now, when we fought, you had that eye of the tiger, man; the edge! And now you gotta get it back, and the way to get it back is to go back to the beginning. You know what I mean?"

Rocky Balboa: "You ain't so bad, you ain't so bad, you ain't nothin'. C'mon, champ, hit me in the face! My mom hits harder than you!"

Clubber Lang: [Calling to Adrian; Smooth talks] "Hey, Woman. Hey, Woman! Listen here. Since your old man ain't got no heart, maybe you like to see a real man. I bet you stay up late every night dreamin' you had a real man, don't ya? I'll tell you what. Bring your pretty little self over to my apartment tonight, and I'll show you a real man".

Clubber Lang: "I'm going to bust you up".
Rocky Balboa: "Go for it".

Apollo Creed: [during the rematch with Lang] "He's gettin' killed out there!"
Paulie: "No, no, no! He ain't gettin' killed; he's gettin' mad!"

120 The Bad News Bears
Michael Ritchie
Walter Matthau, Tatum O'Neal, Chris Barnes, Vic Morrow
1976

119 Magnum Force
Ted Post
Clint Eastwood, Hal Holbrook, Tim Matheson, David Soul
1973

118 Goldfinger
Guy Hamilton
Sean Connery
1964
James Bond: "Bond, James Bond"

117 Missing in Action
Joseph Zito
Chuck Norris, James Hong, M. Emmet Walsh
1984

116 The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
Andrew Adamson
William Mosely, Anna Popplewell, Skandar Keynes, Georgie Henley
2005

115 Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Adam McKay
Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Sacha Baron Cohen
2006
Ricky Bobby: "You sick, sons of bitches. I mean you walk in that door, on your two legs... all fat and cocky and lookin at me in my chair. And you tell me its all in my head? I hope that both of you have sons... Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons, who are talented and star athletes and they have their legs taken away. I mean I pray you know that pain and that hurt".
Lucius Washington: [enraged] "Don't you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby! Don't you put that on us! You are NOT paralyzed!"

Ricky Bobby, Cal Naughton, Jr.: "Shake and bake!"

Texas Ranger: "Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!"

Texas Ranger: "Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!"

Ricky Bobby: "Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin' there in your ghost manger, just lookin' at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin' me and my mama together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers".

Cal Naughton, Jr.: "I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagles wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk!"

Ricky Bobby: [running around on the track in his underwear] "Help me Jesus! Help me Jewish God! Help me Allah! AAAAAHHH! Help me Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me!"

114 Jurassic Park
Steven Spielberg
Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough
1993

113 The Maltese Falcon
John Huston
Humphrey Bogart, Mary Astor, Sydney Greenstreet, Peter Lorre
1941

112 Ocean's Twelve
Steven Soderbergh
George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Andy Garcia, Don Cheadle, Bernie Mac, Julia Roberts
2004

111 Young Guns
Christopher Cain
Emilio Estevez, Kiefer Sutherland, Charlie Sheen, Lou Diamond Phillips, Dermot Mulroney, Casey Siemaszko
1988
Charley Bowdre: "It ain't easy having pals".

Doc: "Advices from Lincoln report that Jose Chavez Y Chavez moved to California where he changed his name and took work on a fruit ranch. Josiah 'Doc' Scurlock is reported to have left the West for the East, taking with him a celestial bride, her mother and fourteen brothers and sisters. Susan McSween went on to see both her husband's and John Tunstall's dreams to fruition, by becoming one of most prominent cattlewomen of all time. Governor Axtel was forced to resign by President Rutherford B. Hayes and both the Murphy-Dolan faction and the Santa Fe Ring collapsed. William H. Bonney, also known as 'Billy the Kid' continued to ride, never leaving New Mexico. He was caught in Fort Sumner by Sheriff Pat Garret and killed. Sources report that he was unarmed, and shot in the dark. He was buried with Charley Bowdre at Old Fort Sumner. Advices report that sometime later, an unidentified person snuck into the graveyard and chiseled an inscription. The epitaph read only one word... 'Pals'".

110 Beverly Hills Cop II
Tony Scott
Eddie Murphy, Judge Reinhold, Brigitte Nielsen, Jürgen Prochnow, Ronny Cox, John Ashton, Paul Reiser
1987

109 Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
David Yates
Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Jim Broadbent, Helena Bonham Carter, Robbie Coltrane, Warwick Davis, Michael Gambon, Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Timothy Spall, David Thewlis, Julie Walters
2009

108 Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
Richard Marquand
Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams
1983
Luke: "Ben! Why didn't you tell me? You told me that Darth Vader betrayed and murdered my father".
Obi-Wan: "Your father... was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and "became" Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view".

Lando Calrissian: "That blast came from the Death Star! That thing's operational!"

Luke: "There's nothing to see. I used to live here, you know".
Han Solo: "You're gonna die here, you know. Convenient".

Princess Leia: "I love you".
Han Solo: "I know".

Han Solo: "I have a really bad feeling about this".

107 Major League
David S. Ward
Tom Berenger, Charlie Sheen, Corbin Bernsen, Rene Russo
1989
Heywood: "How's your wife and my kids?"

Harry Doyle: "In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't, the Indians have managed to win a few here and there, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar".

Harry Doyle: "That's all we got, one goddamn hit?"
Assistant: "You can't say goddamn on the air".
Harry Doyle: "Don't worry, nobody is listening anyway".

Eddie Harris: "You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?"

Harry Doyle: "JUST a bit outside".

106 Spies Like Us
John Landis
Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, Bernie Casey
1985
Russian Interregator #1: "Why are you here?"
Emmett Fitz-Hume: "Why am I here? Why are you here? Why is anybody here? I think it was Jean-Paul Sartre who once said... how do you spell spell Sartre?"
[soldier slaps him]
Emmett Fitz-Hume: "Owww... and let that be a lesson to you".

Russian Interregator #2: "Every minute you don't tell us why you are here, I cut off a finger".
Emmett Fitz-Hume: "Mine or yours?"
Russian Interregator #2: "Yours".
Emmett Fitz-Hume: "Damn!"

[Surrounded by Ninja warriors]
Emmett Fitz-Hume: "Alright. Stop right there... and I'll bring back the sun. Okay..."
[Shows a picture from his wallet]
Emmett Fitz-Hume: "This is my sister. You can all have her. I hear she's very good".

105 Live Free or Die Hard
Len Wiseman
Bruce Willis, Justin Long
2007

104 Ghostbusters II
Ivan Reitman
Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Sigourney Weaver, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis, Ernie Hudson, Annie Potts, Peter MacNicol
1989
Louis Tully: "So the 7 little dwarves had a limited partnership in a small mining operation. And one day a beautiful princess came to live with them. And they bartered housekeeping services for room and board, which was a real good deal for them because they didn't have to withhold social security or income tax or nothin', which you're really not supposed to do, you see, but for the purpose of the story, I think it's okay".

103 Rambo: First Blood Part II
George P. Cosmatos
Sylvester Stallone, Julia Nickson-Soul, Richard Crenna
1985

102 The Godfather Part III
Francis Ford Coppola
Al Pacino, Andy García, Diane Keaton, Talia Shire, Sofia Coppola, Joe Mantegna, Bridget Fonda, George Hamilton, Eli Wallach
1990
Michael Corleone: "Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in".

101 Rocky II
Sylvester Stallone
Sylvester Stallone, Carl Weathers, Talia Shire, Burgess Meredith, Burt Young
1979
Interviewer: "Do you have a criminal record?"
Rocky Balboa: "Nothin' worth braggin' about".

Rocky Balboa: "It's Apollo".
Mickey: "Who were you expecting?"
Rocky Balboa: "I was hoping he wouldn't show".

Mickey: "You're gonna eat lightnin'; you're gonna crap thunder".

Rocky Balboa: "I just got one thing to say... to my wife at home: Yo, Adrian! I DID IT!"

Rocky Balboa: "Hey yo, Mick, what do I got to chase a chicken for?"
Mickey: "First, because I said so. And second, is because chicken-chasing is how we used to train back in the old days. If you can catch this thing, you can catch greased lighting".


The I’m just sayin… Bible Verse of the Week

PROVERBS 2:11

Discretion will protect you,
and understanding will guard you.

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