Disclaimer

If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.



Thursday, May 31, 2012

The Countdown ends today!!!!

Know Your Medal of Honor Recipients:

First Lieutenant Wesley L. Fox (US Marine Corps) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on February 22, 1969, at Quang Tri Province, Republic of Vietnam. His citation reads:

For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty while serving as commanding officer of Company A, in action against the enemy in the northern A Shau Valley. Capt. (then 1st Lt.) Fox's company came under intense fire from a large well concealed enemy force. Capt. Fox maneuvered to a position from which he could assess the situation and confer with his platoon leaders. As they departed to execute the plan he had devised, the enemy attacked and Capt. Fox was wounded along with all of the other members of the command group, except the executive officer. Capt. Fox continued to direct the activity of his company. Advancing through heavy enemy fire, he personally neutralized 1 enemy position and calmly ordered an assault against the hostile emplacements. He then moved through the hazardous area coordinating aircraft support with the activities of his men. When his executive officer was mortally wounded, Capt. Fox reorganized the company and directed the fire of his men as they hurled grenades against the enemy and drove the hostile forces into retreat. Wounded again in the final assault, Capt. Fox refused medical attention, established a defensive posture, and supervised the preparation of casualties for medical evacuation. His indomitable courage, inspiring initiative, and unwavering devotion to duty in the face of grave personal danger inspired his marines to such aggressive action that they overcame all enemy resistance and destroyed a large bunker complex. Capt. Fox's heroic actions reflect great credit upon himself and the Marine Corps, and uphold the highest traditions of the U.S. Naval Service.

Private William R. Fox (US Army) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on April 2, 1865, at Petersburg, Virginia. His citation reads:

Bravely assisted in the capture of one of the enemy's guns; with the first troops to enter the city, captured the flag of the Confederate customhouse.

Signal Quartermaster Charles H. Foy (US Navy) received his Medal of Honor for his actions on January 13-15, 1865, on board the USS Rhode Island. His citation reads:

Served on board the U.S.S. Rhode Island during the action with Fort Fisher and the Federal Point batteries, 13 to 15 January 1865. Carrying out his duties courageously during the battle, Foy continued to be outstanding by his good conduct and faithful services throughout this engagement which resulted in a heavy casualty list when an attempt was made to storm Fort Fisher.


It’s here! We’ve done it! We’ve made it to the end of the Top 2,613 Movies of All-Time Countdown. They said we were crazy… they said it couldn’t be done… but we did it. So here it is… The top 25 movies of all time.


The I’m just sayin… Top 2,613 Movies of All-Time Countdown

25 Caddyshack
Harold Ramis
Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, Bill Murray, Ted Knight, Michael O'Keefe, Cindy Morgan, Sarah Holcomb
1980
Carl Spackler: "Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac... It's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole!"

Al Czervik: [to his Asian companion] "I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don't tell 'em you're Jewish, okay?"

Carl Spackler: "A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, 'Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.' And he says, 'Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.' So I got that goin' for me, which is nice".

Judge Smails: "I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them".

Ty Webb: "Be the ball".

24 Bull Durham
Ron Shelton
Kevin Costner, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, Robert Wuhl
1988
Annie Savoy: "I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I heard that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there's no guilt in baseball, and it's never boring... which makes it like sex. There's never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn't have the best year of his career. Making love is like hitting a baseball: you just gotta relax and concentrate. Besides, I'd never sleep with a player hitting under .250... not unless he had a lot of RBIs and was a great glove man up the middle. You see, there's a certain amount of life wisdom I give these boys. I can expand their minds. Sometimes when I've got a ballplayer alone, I'll just read Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman to him, and the guys are so sweet, they always stay and listen. 'Course, a guy'll listen to anything if he thinks it's foreplay. I make them feel confident, and they make me feel safe, and pretty. 'Course, what I give them lasts a lifetime; what they give me lasts 142 games. Sometimes it seems like a bad trade. But bad trades are part of baseball - now who can forget Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas, for God's sake? It's a long season and you gotta trust it. I've tried 'em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball".

Crash Davis: "Relax, all right? Don't try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls - it's more democratic".

Crash Davis: "Your shower shoes have fungus on them. You'll never make it to the bigs with fungus on your shower shoes. Think classy, you'll be classy. If you win 20 in the show, you can let the fungus grow back and the press'll think you're colorful. Until you win 20 in the show, however, it means you are a slob".

Crash Davis: "Yeah, I was in the show. I was in the show for 21 days once - the 21 greatest days of my life. You know, you never handle your luggage in the show, somebody else carries your bags. It was great. You hit white balls for batting practice, the ballparks are like cathedrals, the hotels all have room service, and the women all have long legs and brains".

Crash Davis: "It's time to work on your interviews".
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: "My interviews? What do I gotta do?"
Crash Davis: "You're gonna have to learn your clichés. You're gonna have to study them, you're gonna have to know them. They're your friends. Write this down: 'We gotta play it one day at a time'".

Crash Davis: "After 12 years in the minor leagues, I don't try out. Besides, uh, I don't believe in quantum physics when it comes to matters of the heart".
Annie Savoy: "What do you believe in, then?"
Crash Davis: "Well, I believe in the soul, the c--k, the p---y, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days".

Skip: "You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Larry!"
Larry: "Lollygaggers!"
Skip: "Lollygaggers".
Skip: "What's our record, Larry?"
Larry: "Eight and sixteen".
Skip: "Eight... and sixteen. How'd we ever win eight?"
Larry: "It's a miracle".
Skip: "It's a miracle. This... is a simple game. You throw the ball. You hit the ball. You catch the ball".

Larry: [Larry jogs out to the mound to break up a players' conference] "Excuse me, but what the hell's going on out here?"
Crash Davis: "Well, Nuke's scared because his eyelids are jammed and his old man's here. We need a live... is it a live rooster?" [Jose nods] "We need a live rooster to take the curse off Jose's glove and nobody seems to know what to get Millie or Jimmy for their wedding present". [to the players] "Is that about right?" [the players nod] "We're dealing with a lot of shit".
Larry: "Okay, well, uh... candlesticks always make a nice gift, and uh, maybe you could find out where she's registered and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern. Okay, let's get two! Go get 'em".

23 To Kill a Mockingbird
Robert Mulligan
Gregory Peck, Mary Badham, Phillip Alford, Robert Duvall, Brock Peters, William Windom, Paul Fix
1962

22 Dirty Harry
Don Siegel
Clint Eastwood, Andrew Robinson, Reni Santoni
1971
Harry Callahan: "I know what you're thinking. 'Did he fire six shots or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"

21 Grease
Randal Kleiser
John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John, Stockard Channing
1978

20 Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
George Lucas
Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman, Ian McDiarmid, Samuel L. Jackson, Jimmy Smits
2005
Obi-Wan: [crashing towards the hangar] "Oh, I have a bad feeling about this".

Mace Windu: "The oppression of the Sith will never return! You, my lord, have lost!"
Supreme Chancellor: [speaking as Darth Sidious] "No... no... no! YOU WILL DIE!"

19 Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
Nicholas Meyer
William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, Ricardo Montalban
1982
McCoy: [to Spock] "Are you out of your Vulcan mind?"

Kirk: "KHAAANNNN!"

Kirk: "Spock!"
Spock: "The ship... out of danger?"
Kirk: "Yes".
Spock: "Don't grieve, Admiral. It is logical. The needs of the many outweigh…"
Kirk: "...the needs of the few..."
Spock: "...Or the one. I never took the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?"
Spock: "I have been and always shall be your friend".
[Holds up his hand in the Vulcan salute]
Spock: "Live long and prosper".

18 The Hangover
Todd Phillips
Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Heather Graham, Justin Bartha
2009
Stu Price: [playing piano and singing passionately] "What do tigers dream of when they take their little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit? Don't you worry your pretty striped head, we're gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed. And then we're gonna find our best friend Doug, and then we're gonna give him a best friend hug. Doug, Doug, oh, Doug, Dougie, Dougie, Doug, Doug! But if he's been murdered by crystal meth tweakers," [stops suddenly] "well then we're shit out of luck".

17 Field of Dreams
Phil Alden Robinson
Kevin Costner, Amy Madigan, James Earl Jones, Ray Liotta, Burt Lancaster, Timothy Busfield, Gaby Hoffmann
1989
The Voice: "If you build it, he will come".

Terence Mann: "Ray, people will come Ray. They'll come to Iowa for reasons they can't even fathom. They'll turn up your driveway not knowing for sure why they're doing it. They'll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for the past. Of course, we won't mind if you look around, you'll say. It's only $20 per person. They'll pass over the money without even thinking about it: for it is money they have and peace they lack. And they'll walk out to the bleachers; sit in shirtsleeves on a perfect afternoon. They'll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they'll watch the game and it'll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they'll have to brush them away from their faces. People will come Ray. The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again. Oh... people will come Ray. People will most definitely come".

[Archie's at bat and is almost hit by the pitcher's throws, twice]
Archie Graham: "Hey ump, how 'bout a warning?"
Clean-shaven Umpire: "Sure, kid. Watch out you don't get killed".

Shoeless Joe Jackson: "Ty Cobb wanted to play, but none of us could stand the son-of-a-bitch when we were alive, so we told him to stick it!"

Shoeless Joe Jackson: "The first two were high and tight, so where do you think the next one's gonna be?"
Archie Graham: "Well, either low and away, or in my ear".
Shoeless Joe Jackson: "He's not gonna wanna load the bases, so look low and away".
Archie Graham: "Right".
Shoeless Joe Jackson: "But watch out for in your ear".

16 National Lampoon's Animal House
John Landis
Tim Matheson, Tom Hulce, John Belushi, John Vernon, Peter Riegert, Karen Allen, Verna Bloom, Kevin Bacon, Donald Sutherland
1978
Bluto: "They took the bar! The whole f--king bar!"

Bluto: "What? Over? Did you say 'over'? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"
Otter: [to Boon] "Germans?"
Boon: "Forget it, he's rolling".
Bluto: "And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough..." [thinks hard of something to say] "The tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go!"

Bluto: "Christ. Seven years of college down the drain. Might as well join the f--king Peace Corps".

Hoover: "They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal!"

Bluto: "TOGA! TOGA!"

[Dean Wormer's plotting to get rid of Delta House]
Greg Marmalard: "But Delta's already on probation".
Dean Vernon Wormer: "They are? Well, as of this moment, they're on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION!"

Otter: "Point of parliamentary procedure!"
Hoover: "Don't screw around, they're serious this time!"
Otter: "Take it easy, I'm pre-law".
Boon: "I thought you were pre-med".
Otter: "What's the difference?"
[Addressing the room]
Otter: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests - we did". [winks at Dean Wormer] "But you can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!"
[Leads the Deltas out of the hearing, all humming the Star-Spangled Banner]

15 Old School
Todd Phillips
Luke Wilson, Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn
2003
Frank: [out of breath] "We're... We're going streaking! We're going up the quad and to the gymnasium".

Frank: "I'll be in the neighborhood later on, and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get some frozen yogurt, or perhaps a whole meal of food, if that would be agreeable. Damnit".

Frank: "Anything? Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And, uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think, well, maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling... what? What, I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not?"

Frank: "Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time".

Frank: [Crying] "You're my boy, Blue!"

Beanie: "You think I like avoiding my wife and kids to hangout with nineteen-year-old girls everyday?"

Frank: "SNOOP! SNOOP-A-LOOP!"

[During Frank's wedding]
Frank: "Hey, I just want to thank you one last time for being here. It's the best day ever".
Beanie: "Don't even start with me, Franklin, okay? You need to walk away from this ASAP".
Frank: "What?"
Beanie: "You need to get out, Frankie. This is it. It's now or never. You need to get out of here while you're still single".
Frank: "I'm not single".
Beanie: "She's 30 yards away, you're single now".
Frank: "Come on, Marissa's the best thing that's ever happened to me".
Beanie: "Why don't you give that six months. You don't think that'll change? I got a wife, kids. Do I seem like a happy guy to you, Frankie?"
Beanie: "There's my wife. See that? Always smiling? Hi, honey. Judging, watching, 'Look at the baby'".
Mitch Martin: "She's coming down the aisle, Beanie. Let it go".

14 Die Hard 2
Renny Harlin
Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Atherton, Dennis Franz, Fred Thompson, Franco Nero
1990
Grant: "You're the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time".
John McClane: "Story of my life".

Grant: "Too bad, McClane. I kind of liked you".
John McClane: "I got enough friends".

John McClane: "Yippie-kai-yay, motherf--ker".

13 Smokey and the Bandit
Hal Needham
Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field, Jerry Reed
1977
Buford T. Justice: [to his son] "There's no way, *no* way that you came from *my* loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I'm gonna do is punch yo mamma in da mouth!"

Buford T. Justice: "What we're dealing with here is a complete lack of respect for the law".

Sheriff Branford: "The fact that you are a sheriff is not germane to the situation".
Buford T. Justice: "The g-d damn Germans got nothin' to do with it".

12 The Sound of Music
Robert Wise
Julie Andrews, Christopher Plummer, Peggy Wood, Eleanor Parker, Charmian Carr, Angela Cartwright, Richard Haydn
1965

11 The Godfather Part II
Francis Ford Coppola
Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Lee Strasberg, Diane Keaton, Robert Duvall, John Cazale, Talia Shire, Bruno Kirby, Michael V. Gazzo
1974
Michael Corleone: "I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!"

Michael Corleone: "There are many things my father taught me here in this room. He taught me: keep your friends close, but your enemies closer".

Michael Corleone: "I don't feel I have to wipe everybody out, Tom. Just my enemies".

Michael Corleone: "If anything in this life is certain, if history has taught us anything, it is that you can kill anyone".

Senator Pat Geary: "I want your answer and the money by noon tomorrow. And one more thing. Don't you contact me again, ever. From now on, you deal with Turnbull".
Michael Corleone: "Senator? You can have my answer now, if you like. My final offer is this: nothing. Not even the fee for the gaming license, which I would appreciate if you would put up personally".

Hyman Roth: "There was this kid I grew up with; he was younger than me. Sorta looked up to me, you know. We did our first work together, worked our way out of the street. Things were good, we made the most of it. During Prohibition, we ran molasses into Canada... made a fortune, your father, too. As much as anyone, I loved him and trusted him. Later on he had an idea to build a city out of a desert stop-over for GI's on the way to the West Coast. That kid's name was Moe Greene, and the city he invented was Las Vegas. This was a great man, a man of vision and guts. And there isn't even a plaque, or a signpost or a statue of him in that town! Someone put a bullet through his eye. No one knows who gave the order. When I heard it, I wasn't angry; I knew Moe, I knew he was head-strong, talking loud, saying stupid things. So when he turned up dead, I let it go. And I said to myself, this is the business we've chosen; I didn't ask who gave the order, because it had nothing to do with business!"

Tom Hagen: "Why do you hurt me, Michael? I've always been loyal to you".

Hyman Roth: "I'm going in to take a nap. When I wake, if the money's on the table, I'll know I have a partner. If it isn't, I'll know I don't".

Tom Hagen: "Mikey, you all right?"
Michael Corleone: "Yeah -- there's a lot I can't tell you -- and I know that's upset you in the past".
Tom Hagen: "A little".
Michael Corleone: "Yeah -- you felt it was because of some lack of trust of confidence -- but it's -- it's, because I admire you and I love you that I kept things secret from you. That's why at his moment you're the only one I completely trust. Fredo -- ah, he's got a good heart -- but he's week, and he's stupid, and this is life and death. TOM, you're my brother".
Tom Hagen: "I always wanted to thought of as a brother by you, Mikey -- a real brother".
Michael Corleone: "I know. You're gonna take over -- you're gonna be the Don. If what I think has happened has happened, I'm gonna leave here tonight. I give you complete power, Tom -- over Fredo and his men, Rocco, Neri, everyone. I am trusting you with the lives of my wife and my children -- the future of this family".

10 Brian's Song
Buzz Kulik
James Caan, Billy Dee Williams, Shelley Fabares
1971

9 National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Jeremiah S. Chechik
Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo, Juliette Lewis, Randy Quaid, Johnny Galecki, E.G. Marshall, Doris Roberts, Diane Ladd
1989
Clark: "Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f--king Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse".

Clark: "Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?"

[as an entourage of suits - lead by Clark's boss - passes by single file]
Clark: "Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah".

Clark: "Oh, Eddie... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now".

8 Die Hard
John McTiernan
Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman, Bonnie Bedelia, Paul Gleason, Reginald VelJohnson, Alexander Godunov
1988
John McClane: "Yippee-ki-yay, motherf--ker".

Supervisor: [as McClane tries to call up police] "Attention, whoever you are, this channel is reserved for emergency calls only".
John McClane: "No f--king shit, lady. Does it sound like I'm ordering a pizza?"

7 Jaws
Steven Spielberg
Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw, Richard Dreyfuss
1975
Brody: "You're gonna need a bigger boat".

Hooper: "You were on the Indianapolis?"
Brody: "What happened?"
Quint: "Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, Chief. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte... just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. 13-footer. You know how you know that when you're in the water, Chief? You tell by looking from the dorsal to the tail fin. What we didn't know, was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin', so we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know, it was kinda like old squares in the battle like you see in the calendar named "The Battle of Waterloo" and the idea was: shark comes to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the shark will go away... but sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a shark... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all the poundin' and the hollerin', they all come in and they... rip you to pieces. You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don't know how many sharks, maybe a thousand. I know how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday morning, Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boatswain's mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. He bobbed up, down in the water just like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Noon, the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us. He swung in low and he saw us... he was a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper. Anyway, he saw us and he come in low and three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and starts to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened... waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water; 316 men come out and the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb".

6 Rocky
John G. Avildsen
Sylvester Stallone, Carl Weathers, Talia Shire, Burgess Meredith
1976
Mickey: "Women weaken legs!"

Mickey: "You're gonna eat lightnin' and you're gonna crap thunder!"

Mickey: "Your nose is broken".
Rocky: "How does it look?"
Mickey: "Ah, it's an improvement".

Rocky: "Ah come on, Adrian, it's true. I was nobody. But that don't matter either, you know? 'Cause I was thinkin', it really don't matter if I lose this fight. It really don't matter if this guy opens my head, either. 'Cause all I wanna do is go the distance. Nobody's ever gone the distance with Creed, and if I can go that distance, you see, and that bell rings and I'm still standin', I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, see, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood".

Apollo's Trainer: "He doesn't know it's a damn show! He thinks it's a damn fight!"

[after the fight]
Apollo Creed: "Ain't gonna be no rematch".
Rocky: "Don't want one".

Rocky: "Cut me, Mick".

5 Steel Magnolias
Herbert Ross
Sally Field, Dolly Parton, Shirley MacLaine, Daryl Hannah, Olympia Dukakis, Julia Roberts, Tom Skerritt, Dylan McDermott, Kevin J. O'Connor, Sam Shepard
1989
Ouiser Boudreaux: "A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste".

Clairee Belcher: "Ousier's never done a religious thing in her life".
Ouiser Boudreaux: "Now that is not true. When I was in school, a bunch of my friends and I would dress up as nuns and go bar-hoppin'".

Clairee: "Ouiser, you sound almost chipper. What happened today - you run over a small child or something?"

M'Lynn: [crying] "I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine". [screaming] "I'm fine! I can jog all the way to Texas and back, but my daughter can't! She never could! Oh God! I am so mad I don't know what to do! I wanna know why! I wanna know *why* Shelby's life is over! I wanna know how that baby will *ever* know how wonderful his mother was! Will he *ever* know what she went through for him! Oh *God* I wanna know *why*? *Why*? Lord, I wish I could understand!" [in a firm tone] "No! No! No! It's not supposed to happen this way! I'm supposed to go first. I've always been ready to go first! I-I don't think I can take this! I-I don't think I can take this! I-I just wanna *hit* somebody 'til they feel as bad as I do! I just wanna hit something! I wanna hit it hard!" [continues sobbing]
Clairee: "Here!" [grabs Ouiser by the shoulder and positions her in front of M'Lynn]
Clairee: "Hit this! Go ahead M'Lynn, slap her!"
Ouiser Boudreaux: [taken aback and confused] "Are you crazy?"
Clairee: "Hit her!"
Ouiser Boudreaux: "Are you *high*, Clairee?"
Truvy: [in a frightened tone] "Clairee, have you lost your mind?"
Clairee: "We'll sell t-shirts sayin' 'I SLAPPED OUISER BOUDREAUX!' Hit her!"
Annelle: [in a scared tone] "Ms. Clairee, enough!"
Clairee: "Ouiser, this is your chance to do something for your fellow man! Knock her lights out, M'Lynn!"
Ouiser Boudreaux: [snatches away] "Let go o' me!"
Clairee: "M'Lynn, you just missed the chance of a lifetime! Half o' Chiquapin Parish'd give their eye teeth to take a whack at Ouiser!"

Ouiser Boudreaux: "He is a boil on the butt of humanity!"

4 Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope aka Star Wars
George Lucas
Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Alec Guinness
1977
Obi-Wan: "Use the Force, Luke".

Luke: "I have a very bad feeling about this".

Luke: "How did my father die?"
Obi-Wan: "A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi knights. He betrayed and murdered your father. Now the Jedi are all but extinct. Vader was seduced by the dark side of the Force".

Princess Leia: "Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; you're my only hope".

Han Solo: "Well, you can forget your troubles with those Imperial slugs. I told you I'd outrun 'em".
[nobody is listening]
Han Solo: "Don't everyone thank me at once".

Obi-Wan: [after hiding from the Storm Troopers on the Millennium Falcom] "Who is more foolish? The fool? Or the fool following the fool?"

3 Gone with the Wind
Victor Fleming
Clark Gable, Vivien Leigh, Leslie Howard, Olivia de Havilland, Hattie McDaniel, Butterfly McQueen
1939
Rhett Butler: "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn".

2 Casablanca
Michael Curtiz
Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman
1942
Captain Renault: "Carl, see that Major Strasser gets a good table, one close to the ladies".
Carl: "I have already given him the best, knowing he is German and would take it anyway".

Rick: "I remember every detail. The Germans wore gray, you wore blue".

Senor Ferrari: "As the leader of all illegal activities in Casablanca, I am an influential and respected man".

Yvonne: "Where were you last night?"
Rick: "That's so long ago, I don't remember".
Yvonne: "Will I see you tonight?"
Rick: "I never make plans that far ahead".

Rick: "*I'm* the only "cause" I'm interested in".

Captain Renault: [after Rick pulls a gun on him] "Have you lost your mind?"
Rick: "I have. Sit down!"
Captain Renault: "Put that gun down!"
Rick: "I don't want to shoot you, but I will if you take one more step!"
Captain Renault: [With amusement] "Under the circumstances I will sit down".

Rick: "Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine".

Captain Renault: "I've often speculated why you don't return to America. Did you abscond with the church funds? Run off with a senator's wife? I like to think you killed a man. It's the Romantic in me".

Captain Renault: "Oh, please, monsieur. It is a little game we play. They put it on the bill, I tear up the bill. It is very convenient".

Rick: "How can you close me up? On what grounds?"
Captain Renault: "I'm shocked, *shocked* to find that gambling is going on in here!"
[a croupier hands Renault a pile of money]
Croupier: "Your winnings, sir".
Captain Renault: [sotto voce] "Oh, thank you very much".
[aloud]
Captain Renault: "Everybody out at once!"

Rick: "And remember, this gun is pointed right at your heart".
Captain Renault: "That is my *least* vulnerable spot".

Rick: "I'm saying it because it's true. Inside of us, we both know you belong with Victor. You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life".
Ilsa: "But what about us?"
Rick: "We'll always have Paris. We didn't have, we, we lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night".
Ilsa: "When I said I would never leave you".
Rick: "And you never will. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that".
[Ilsa lowers her head and begins to cry]
Rick: "Now, now..."
[Rick gently places his hand under her chin and raises it so their eyes meet]
Rick: "Here's looking at you kid".

Captain Renault: "Realizing the importance of the case, my men are rounding up twice the usual number of suspects".

Rick: "Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship".

1 The Godfather
Francis Ford Coppola
Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, James Caan, Robert Duvall, John Cazale, Diane Keaton, Talia Shire, Richard Castellano, Richard Conte, Sterling Hayden, Al Lettieri, Gianni Russo
1972
Don Corleone: "You talk about vengance. Is vengance going to bring your son back to you or my boy to me? I forgo the vengance of my son. But my youngest son had to leave this country because of this Sollozzo business. So now I have to make arraingments to bring him back safely cleared of all these false charges. But I'm a supersticious man. And if some unluck accident should befall him, if he should be shot in the head by a police officer, or if should hang himself in his jail cell, or if he's struck by a bolt of lightning... *then I'm going to blame some of the people in this room*... and that, I do not forgive. But, that aside, let say that I swear, on the souls of my grandchildren, that I will not be the one to break the peace we have made here today".

Luca Brasi: "Don Corleone, I am honored and grateful that you have invited me to your daughter... 's wedding... on the day of your daughter's wedding. And I hope their first child be a masculine child. I pledge my ever-ending loyalty".

Michael: "Well, when Johnny was first starting out, he was signed to a personal services contract with this big-band leader. And as his career got better and better, he wanted to get out of it. But the band leader wouldn't let him. Now, Johnny is my father's godson. So my father went to see this bandleader and offered him $10,000 to let Johnny go, but the bandleader said no. So the next day, my father went back, only this time with Luca Brasi. Within an hour, he had a signed release for a certified check of $1000".
Kay Adams: "How did he do that?"
Michael: "My father made him an offer he couldn't refuse".
Kay Adams: "What was that?"
Michael: "Luca Brasi held a gun to his head, and my father assured him that either his brains or his signature would be on the contract".

Peter Clemenza: "Leave the gun. Take the cannoli".

Don Corleone: "Bonasera, Bonasera, what have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? If you'd come to me in friendship, this scum who ruined your daughter would be suffering this very day. And if by some chance an honest man like yourself made enemies they would become my enemies. And then, they would fear you".

Don Corleone: "Some day, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day, consider this justice a gift on my daughter's wedding day".

Don Corleone: "I knew Santino was going to have to go through all this and Fredo... well, Fredo was... But I, I never wanted this for you. I work my whole life, I don't apologize, to take care of my family. And I refused to be a fool dancing on the strings held by all of those big shots. That's my life, I don't apologize for that. But I always thought that when it was your time, that you would be the one to hold the strings. Senator Corleone, Governor Corleone, something".

Don Corleone: "It's an old habit. I spent my whole life trying not to be careless. Women and children can afford to be careless, but not men".

Carlo Rizzi: "Sonny, Tom, I'd like to talk to you after dinner. I think I can do a lot more for this family..."
Sonny: "We don't discuss business at the table".

Tessio: [to Hagen] "Tell Mike it was only business, I always liked him".
Tom Hagen: "He understands that".

Tessio: "Can you get me off the hook, Tom? For old times' sake?"
Tom Hagen: [shakes his head] "Can't do it, Sally".

Sonny: "You touch my sister again, I'll kill you".

Tom Hagen: "You know how they're going to come at you?"
Michael: "They want to arrange a meeting between me and Barzini. On Tessio's ground. Where I'll be safe".
[Hagen is silent for a long moment]
Tom Hagen: "Tessio. I always thought it would be Clemenza".
Michael: "It's the smart move. Tessio was always smarter".

[Tessio brings in Luca Brasi's bulletproof vest, delivered with a fish inside]
Sonny: "What the hell is this?"
Clemenza: "It's a Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes".

Sonny: [laughing] "What are you gonna do? Nice college boy, didn't want to get mixed up in the family business. Now you want to gun down a police captain. Why? Because he slapped you in the face a little? What do you think this like the Army where you can shoot 'em from a mile away? No you gotta get up like this and, badda-bing, you blow their brains all over your nice Ivy League suit. C'mere".
[Kisses Michael on the head]
Sonny: "You're taking this very personal. Tom, this is business and this man is taking it very, very personal".

Moe Greene: "Sonofabitch! Do you know who I am? I'm Moe Greene! I made my bones when you were going out with cheerleaders!"

Michael: "Fredo, you're my older brother, and I love you. But don't ever take sides with anyone against the Family again. Ever".

Carlo Rizzi: "Please don't do this to me, Mike. Please don't".
Michael: "Barzini is dead. So is Phillip Tattaglia. Moe Greene. Stracci. Cuneo. Today I settled all family business so don't tell me that you're innocent. Admit what you did".


Thankful Thursday

I have some friends with some birthdays coming up and I am, of course, thankful for them. My buddy Adrian’s birthday is on Sunday. You will remember, of course, that mine and Adrian’s friendship really got turned around after I floated down the Edisto River with her. Sure, we were with a large group of people (including her husband and two preachers) but I like to think that she likes to think it was just us. Honestly, I’m friends with her husband (Michael) and brother (Ross) to help me stay on her good side. Adrian is a graduate of the University of Georgia… making her an exception to my rule about making friends with UGA grads. :)

My friend Danny (yes, that Danny) also has a birthday coming up next week. Like most of my close friends not named Jeremy or Rebecca, I met Danny when we decided to start a Sunday School class for cool people (because, like I always say, cool people need Jesus too). Danny was one of the original Big 3 along with KC and another friend of mine (3 people I’d send long, intelligent/witty emails to back before I started this blog). Danny is a former Summerville football player… making him an exception to my rule about making friends with former Summerville football players.

So today I am thankful for both Adrian and Danny. They are two great friends of mine who have enriched my lives more than I can say… which is really saying something because I can say a lot.

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