If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Entering the Top 300

The I’m just sayin… Top 2,982 Movies of All-Time Countdown

365 Hairspray
Adam Shankman
John Travolta, Michelle Pfeiffer, Christopher Walken, Amanda Bynes, James Marsden, Queen Latifah, Brittany Snow, Zac Efron, Elijah Kelley, Allison Janney, Nikki Blonsky

364 Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Alfonso Cuarón
Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Robbie Coltrane, Michael Gambon, Richard Griffiths, Gary Oldman, Alan Rickman, Fiona Shaw, Maggie Smith, Timothy Spall, David Thewlis, Maggie Smith, Julie Walters, Dawn French

363 Critic's Choice
Don Weis
Bob Hope, Lucille Ball, Marilyn Maxwell, Rip Torn

362 Gambit
Ronald Neame
Michael Caine, Shirley MacLaine

361 Sleepless in Seattle
Nora Ephron
Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Bill Pullman, Rosie O'Donnell

360 My Geisha
Jack Cardiff
Shirley MacLaine, Yves Montand, Edward G. Robinson

359 Career
Joseph Anthony
Dean Martin, Tony Franciosa, Shirley MacLaine

358 A Bug's Life
John Lasseter
Voices of Dave Foley, Kevin Spacey, Julia Louis-Dreyfus

357 Doc Hollywood
Michael Caton-Jones
Michael J. Fox, Julie Warner, Woody Harrelson, Bridget Fonda

356 An Officer and a Gentleman
Taylor Hackford
Richard Gere, Louis Gossett Jr., Debra Winger, David Keith

355 E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial
Steven Spielberg
Dee Wallace, Henry Thomas, Peter Coyote, Drew Barrymore, Robert MacNaughton

354 The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Andrew Adamson
Ben Barnes, William Moseley, Anna Popplewell, Skandar Keynes

353 Enter the Dragon
Robert Clouse
Bruce Lee, John Saxon, Jim Kelly

352 Amadeus
Milos Forman
Tom Hulce, F. Murray Abraham, Elizabeth Berridge

351 Return of Frank James, The
Fritz Lang
Henry Fonda

350 Misery
Rob Reiner
James Caan, Kathy Bates

349 Rhythm on the River
Victor Schertzinger
Bing Crosby, Mary Martin, Basil Rathbone

348 On the Waterfront
Elia Kazan
Marlon Brando, Eva Marie Saint, Karl Malden, Rod Steiger, Lee J. Cobb

347 Rush Hour 3
Brett Ratner
Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker

346 Artists and Models
Frank Tashlin
Dean Martin, Jerry Lewis, Shirley MacLaine, Dorothy Malone

345 Anaconda
Luis Llosa
Jennifer Lopez, Jon Voight, Ice Cube, Eric Stoltz, Owen Wilson, Jonathan Hyde, Kari Wuhrer

344 Django Unchained
Quentin Tarantino
Christoph Waltz, Jamie Foxx, Leonardo DiCaprio, Samuel L. Jackson, Bruce Dern, Russ Tamblyn, James Remar, Dennis Christopher, James Russo, Don Stroud, Tom Wopat, M.C. Gainey, Robert Carradine, Ted Neeley, Tom Savini, Michael Parks, Quentin Tarantino, Don Johnson, Jonah Hill

343 The Blues Brothers
John Landis
Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, Carrie Fisher, Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles, James Brown, Cab Calloway, John Candy

342 A Perfect World
Clint Eastwood
Kevin Costner, Clint Eastwood, Laura Dern

341 The Martian
Ridley Scott
Matt Damon, Jeff Daniels, Kristen Wiig, Sean Bean, Jessica Chastain, Sebastian Stan, Kate Mara, Michael Pena, Aksel Hennie, Donald Glover, Mackenzie Davis, Benedict Wong, Eddy Ko, Chen Shu, Naomi Scott, Nick Mohammed, Chiwetel Ejiofor

340 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi
Michael Bay
James Badge Dale, John Krasinski, Toby Stephens, Pablo Schreiber, Max Martini, David Denman, David Giuntoli, David Costabile

339 Batman Forever
Joel Schumacher
Val Kilmer, Tommy Lee Jones, Jim Carrey, Nicole Kidman, Chris O'Donnell, Drew Barrymore, Debi Mazar

338 Tropic Thunder
Ben Stiller
Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Robert Downey, Jr.

337 Bad Teacher
Jake Kasdan
Cameron Diaz, Jason Segel, Justin Timberlake, Lucy Punch, John Michael Higgins

336 Conspiracy Theory
Richard Donner
Mel Gibson, Julia Roberts

335 Bad Boys II
Michael Bay
Martin Lawrence, Will Smith
Mike Lowery: [singing] "Bad boys, bad boys what ya gonna do? What ya gonna do when we come for you?"
[Marcus starts ad-libbing the first verse]
Mike Lowery: "Dude, you gotta learn the words".
Marcus Burnett: "We usually only do the chorus".

334 In the Heat of the Night
Norman Jewison
Rod Steiger, Sidney Poitier, Warren Oates, Lee Grant

333 My Best Friend's Wedding
P. J. Hogan
Julia Roberts, Dermot Mulroney, Cameron Diaz, Rupert Everett

332 Clash of the Titans
Louis Leterrier
Sam Worthington, Gemma Arterton, Mads Mikkelsen, Alexa Davalos, Jason Flemyng, Nicholas Hoult, Danny Huston, Izabella Miko, Pete Postlethwaite, Polly Walker, Ralph Fiennes, Liam Neeson

331 Big
Penny Marshall
Tom Hanks, Elizabeth Perkins, Robert Loggia, John Heard

330 USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage
Mario Van Peebles
Nicolas Cage, Tom Sizemore, Thomas Jane, Matt Lanter, Brian Presley

329 12 Years a Slave
Steve McQueen
Chiwetel Ejiofor, Michael Fassbender, Benedict Cumberbatch, Paul Dano, Paul Giamatti, Lupita Nyong'o, Brad Pitt, Alfre Woodard, Quvenzhané Wallis, Ruth Negga, Sarah Paulson, Scoot McNairy, Garret Dillahunt, Michael Kenneth Williams

328 Munich
Steven Spielberg
Eric Bana, Daniel Craig, Ciarán Hinds, Mathieu Kassovitz

327 The Apartment
Billy Wilder
Jack Lemmon, Shirley MacLaine, Fred MacMurray

326 Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Michael Bay
Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, John Turturro, Tyrese Gibson, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Patrick Dempsey, Kevin Dunn, Julie White, with John Malkovich and Frances McDormand

325 Act of Valor
Mouse McCoy/Scott Waugh
Active Duty Navy SEALs, Roselyn Sánchez, Alex Veadov, Jason Cottle, Nester Serrano

324 Hacksaw Ridge
Mel Gibson
Andrew Garfield, Vince Vaughn, Sam Worthington, Luke Bracey, Hugo Weaving, Ryan Corr, Teresa Palmer, Richard Pyros, Rachel Griffiths

323 Bonnie and Clyde
Arthur Penn
Warren Beatty, Faye Dunaway, Gene Hackman, Estelle Parsons, Michael J. Pollard

322 Cars
Joe Ranft, John Lasseter
Paul Newman, Owen Wilson, Larry the Cable Guy, Tony Shalhoub, Bonnie Hunt

321 Citizen Kane
Orson Welles
Orson Welles, Joseph Cotten

320 Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Chris Columbus
Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Robbie Coltrane, Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Richard Harris, Kenneth Branagh

319 Up
Pete Docter, Bob Peterson
Edward Asner, Jordan Nagai, Paul Eiding, Christopher Plummer, Bob Peterson[disambiguation needed ]
Carl Fredricksen: "This is crazy. I finally meet my childhood hero and he's trying to kill us. What a joke".
Dug: "Hey, I know a joke! A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead".

318 Friends with Benefits
Will Gluck
Justin Timberlake, Mila Kunis, Patricia Clarkson, Jenna Elfman, Bryan Greenberg, Richard Jenkins, Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, Nolan Gould, Jason Segel, Rashida Jones, Andy Samberg, Shaun White

317 The Turning Point
Herbert Ross
Shirley MacLaine, Anne Bancroft, Mikhail Baryshnikov

316 Get Him to the Greek
Nicholas Stoller
Jonah Hill, Russell Brand, Elisabeth Moss, Rose Byrne, Colm Meaney, Sean Combs
Sergio Roma: "You can't outrun me! I'm black!"

Aldous Snow: "What you did was very spiteful, but it was also very brave and very honest and I respect you for doing that. But the content of what you said has made me hate you. So there's a layer of respect, admittedly, for your truthfulness, but it's peppered with hate. Hateful respect".

315 Can-Can
Walter Lang
Frank Sinatra, Shirley MacLaine, Maurice Chevalier

314 The Longest Yard
Peter Segal
Adam Sandler, Burt Reynolds, Chris Rock

313 Sixteen Candles
John Hughes
Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall, Michael Schoeffling, Justin Henry, Gedde Watanabe, Blanche Baker, Haviland Morris

312 Good Morning, Vietnam
Barry Levinson
Robin Williams, Robert Wuhl, Forest Whitaker
Adrian Cronauer: "Goooooooood morning, Vietnam! Hey, this is not a test! This is rock and roll! Time to rock it from the Delta to the D.M.Z.!"

Adrian Cronauer: "What's the demilitarized zone? It sounds like something from the Wizard of Oz 'Oh no don't go in there!' 'Ohhh wee ohh. Ho Chi Minh.' 'Oh look you've landed in Saigon. You're amongst the little people now.' 'We represent the ARVN army, the ARVN army. Oh no! Follow the Ho Chi Minh trail! Follow the Ho Chi Minh trail!'"

Adrian Cronauer: "Five months in Vietnam, and my best friend is a V.C. THIS WILL NOT LOOK GOOD ON A RESUMÈ!"

Adrian Cronauer: "Goooooooood morning Vietnam! It's 0600 hours. What does the "O" stand for? O my God, it's early!"

311 Julius Caesar
David Bradley
Harold Tasker, Charlton Heston

310 Two for the Seesaw
Robert Wise
Robert Mitchum, Shirley MacLaine

309 Mr. Deeds
Steven Brill
Adam Sandler, Winona Ryder, John Turturro, Peter Gallagher
Babe: "You must be Jan. My name is…"
Jan: "I know who you are. Wham-Bam Dawson, a.k.a. Little Miss Slut-slut".
Babe: "Okay, I deserved that…"
Jan: "Do you have any idea how much you hurt him? You're not getting anywhere near that boy".
Babe: "I have to find him, and there's nothing you can do to stop me".
Jan: [rolls up her sleeves] "There's a lot I can do to stop you".
Babe: "He needs to know how bad I feel, and I would go to the end of the earth, I would do anything, *anything*, to take back what I did to him".
Jan: "...I'm sorry? All I heard was, 'blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp'".

Emilio: "I fear you are underestimating the sneakiness, sir".

Longfellow Deeds: "Whoa, you kinda snuck up on me there..."
Emilio: "I am very very sneaky, sir".

308 The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys
Peter Care
Emile Hirsch, Kieran Culkin, Jena Malone, Jodie Foster, Chandler McIntyre
Naturalist: "The head of the sexually aroused adult gobbler can change into a variety of shades of red, white and blue. Yeah, it's a very patriotic bird".

Naturalist: "That's a very thoughtful question…"

307 Turner & Hooch
Roger Spottiswoode
Tom Hanks, Mare Winningham, Craig T. Nelson, J. C. Quinn, Reginald VelJohnson
Emily Carson: "Well, it's a nice night, and I have to walk Camille. Do you want to take a walk with me?"
Scott Turner: "No. No. Well, you see, I'm starting to like you, and if we're going to walk I'm just going to like you even more, and then one day we might even end up in love and everything will go on fine for a while, but-but then one day *bang* you're gonna call me a selfish compulsive bastard! You're gonna pull your hair, you're gonna scream and you're gonna say you never want to see me again because I drive you crazy, and I'm left shattered. Now, who needs that? Good night!"

306 Cast Away
Robert Zemeckis
Tom Hanks, Helen Hunt
Chuck Noland: "WILSON!"

305 The Caine Mutiny
Edward Dmytryk
Humphrey Bogart, José Ferrer, Van Johnson, Fred MacMurray, Robert Francis, E.G. Marshall, Lee Marvin

304 Lone Survivor
Peter Berg
Mark Wahlberg, Taylor Kitsch, Ben Foster, Emile Hirsch, Eric Bana

303 High Society
Charles Walters
Grace Kelly, Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra

302 Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
Leonard Nimoy
William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, James Doohan, Nichelle Nichols, George Takei, Catherine Hicks
[Spock is still learning how to use profanity correctly]
Spock: "They like you very much, but they are not the hell 'your' whales".
Dr. Gillian Taylor: "I suppose they told you that".
Spock: "The hell they did".

[Chekov is being interrogated]
FBI agent interrogating Chekov: "Name".
Chekov: "My name?"
FBI agent interrogating Chekov: [sarcastically] "No, my name".
Chekov: "I do not know your name".
FBI agent interrogating Chekov: "You play games with me, Mister, and you're through".
Chekov: "I am? May I go now?"

301 Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Chris Columbus
Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Richard Harris, Maggie Smith, Robbie Coltrane

300 Damn Yankees
Stanley Donen, George Abbott
Tab Hunter, Gwen Verdon, Ray Walston
Mr. Applegate: "Wives! They cause me more trouble than the Methodist church".

Van Buren: [singing] "You've gotta have heart, / All you really need is heart./ When the odds are sayin' you'll never win /That's when the grin should start".

Ballplayers: "So what the heck's the use of cryin'? / Why should we curse? / We gotta get better / 'cause we can't get worse!"

299 The Exorcist
William Friedkin
Ellen Burstyn, Linda Blair, Jason Miller, Max von Sydow, Lee J. Cobb

298 Taken
Pierre Morel
Liam Neeson, Famke Janssen, Maggie Grace
Bryan: "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you".

297 Iron Man 3
Shane Black
Robert Downey, Jr., Ben Kingsley, Don Cheadle, Gwyneth Paltrow, Guy Pearce, James Badge Dale, Ashley Hamilton, Rebecca Hall, Jon Favreau, Paul Bettany, Stephanie Szostak, William Sadler

296 Taps
Harold Becker
George C. Scott, Timothy Hutton, Sean Penn, Tom Cruise

295 Some Came Running
Vincente Minnelli
Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Shirley MacLaine

294 The Pink Panther
Shawn Levy
Steve Martin, Beyoncé Knowles

293 Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
Howard Hawks
Marilyn Monroe, Jane Russell

292 The Cutting Edge
Paul Michael Glaser
D. B. Sweeney, Moira Kelly
Kate: "It's Christmas and we skate. I have the flu and we skate. I have a boyfriend in London that I never see. I skate every day for you, so that you can play Dr. Frankenstein with this guy. I show up every morning for seven months so that you can give him two days to go off whoring in New York City?"
Anton: "Is not entirely correct".
Anton: "He went to Boston".

Kate: Toe pick!

291 Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Darren Grant
Kimberly Elise, Steve Harris, Shemar Moore, Cicely Tyson, Tyler Perry
Brenda: "I know Tae Kwan Do".
Madea: "And I know whoop your ass".

290 Pretty in Pink
Howard Deutch
Molly Ringwald, Andrew McCarthy, Jon Cryer, Harry Dean Stanton, Annie Potts, James Spader

289 18 Again!
Paul Flaherty
George Burns, Charlie Schlatter, Tony Roberts

288 Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment
Jerry Paris
Steven Guttenberg, Bubba Smith, David Graf

287 Cobra
George P. Cosmatos
Sylvester Stallone, Brigitte Nielsen
Marion Cobretti [before dropping a lit match on a bad guy who was covered in gasoline] : "You have the right to remain silent".

286 My Fair Lady
George Cukor
Audrey Hepburn, Rex Harrison

285 See No Evil, Hear No Evil
Arthur Hiller
Gene Wilder, Richard Pryor, Joan Severance, Kevin Spacey

284 Postcards from the Edge
Mike Nichols
Meryl Streep, Dennis Quaid, Shirley MacLaine, Gene Hackman

283 Sergeant York
Howard Hawks
Gary Cooper, Walter Brennan

282 The Great Outdoors
Howard Deutch
Dan Aykroyd, John Candy, Annette Bening
Chet: "Bear... bear... Big Bear... big bear chase meeeeeeee...!"

281 Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Mike Newell
Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Michael Gambon, Maggie Smith, Alan Rickman, Gary Oldman, Robbie Coltrane, Robert Pattinson, Ralph Fiennes

280 All in a Night's Work
Joseph Anthony
Dean Martin, Shirley MacLaine, Cliff Robertson

279 Ghost
Jerry Zucker
Demi Moore, Patrick Swayze, Whoopi Goldberg

278 Billy Madison
Tamra Davis
Adam Sandler, Bridgette Wilson, Darren McGavin
Principal: "Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul".

277 Meet the Parents
Jay Roach
Ben Stiller, Robert DeNiro, Blythe Danner, Teri Polo, Owen Wilson

276 No Time for Sergeants
Mervyn LeRoy
Andy Griffith, Nick Adams, Myron McCormick, Murray Hamilton, Will Hutchins, Dub Taylor, Don Knotts
Sergeant King: "Why ain't you dead?"
Will Stockdale: "No excuse, sir!"

Benjamin B. Whitledge: "Our post was the tail of the plane and nobody told us to quit it!"
Will Stockdale: "But the tail was on fire, Ben! Our post was a-quittin' us!"

275 El Cid
Anthony Mann
Charlton Heston, Sophia Loren, Raf Vallone, Geneviève Page

274 Star Trek III: The Search for Spock
Leonard Nimoy
William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, George Takei
Sulu: "The word, sir?"
Kirk: "The word is no. I am therefore going anyway".

Kirk: "You're suffering from a Vulcan mind-meld, doctor".
McCoy: "That green-blooded son of a bitch! It's his revenge for all the arguments he lost".

Kirk: "Klingon Commander, This is Admiral James T. Kirk. I'm alive and well on the planet surface. I know that this will come as a pleasant surprise to you, but our ship was a victim of an "unfortunate accident". Sorry about your crew, but as we say on Earth, c'est la vie".

273 At War with the Army
Hal Walker
Dean Martin, Jerry Lewis

272 Irma la Douce
Billy Wilder
Jack Lemmon, Shirley MacLaine

271 Trainwreck
Judd Apatow
Amy Schumer, Tilda Swinton, Bill Hader, Brie Larson, Colin Quinn, Barkhad Abdi, Mike Birbiglia, Jon Glaser, Vanessa Bayer, John Cena, Ezra Miller, Derek Jeter, Method Man, Norman Lloyd, Jim Norton, Daniel Radcliffe, Marisa Tomei

270 Bad Santa
Terry Zwigoff
Billy Bob Thornton, Bernie Mac, Lauren Graham

269 Barbershop
Tim Story
Ice Cube, Cedric the Entertainer

268 Dr. Dolittle
Betty Thomas
Eddie Murphy, Ossie Davis, Richard Schiff

267 Planet of the Apes
Franklin J. Schaffner
Charlton Heston, Roddy McDowall, Maurice Evans, Kim Hunter

266 Scream
Wes Craven
David Arquette, Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, Rose McGowan, Skeet Ulrich, Matthew Lillard, Jamie Kennedy, Drew Barrymore

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