If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.

Friday, May 12, 2017

Weight down...

I’m down to 209… Not yet where I want to be, but much closer than I’ve been in a long time.

The I’m just sayin… Top 2,982 Movies of All-Time Countdown

1465 Eat Pray Love
Ryan Murphy
Julia Roberts, James Franco, Richard Jenkins, Viola Davis, Billy Crudup and Javier Bardem

1464 Surviving Christmas
Mike Mitchell
Ben Affleck, James Gandolfini, Christina Applegate, Catherine O'Hara

1463 Meteor
Ronald Neame
Sean Connery, Natalie Wood, Karl Malden

1462 Madea Goes to Jail
Tyler Perry
Tyler Perry, Sofía Vergara, Vanessa Ferlito, Derek Luke, Keshia Knight Pulliam, David Mann, Ion Overman, Ronreaco Lee, Viola Davis
Dr. Phil: What is wrong with you? Why do you feel the need that you gotta "get" somebody all the time?
Madea: Well when you gettin' "got" and somebody done "got" you and you go "get" them, when you get 'em everybody's gon' get got.
Dr. Phil: Yea but you're gettin' the gotters when they didn't do anything to even get you.
Madea: Yea but if the gotters get me I'm gonna get my glock.

1461 The Day the Earth Stood Still
Scott Derrickson
Keanu Reeves, Jennifer Connelly, Jaden Smith

1460 The Royal Tenenbaums
Wes Anderson
Gene Hackman, Anjelica Huston, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ben Stiller, Luke Wilson, Owen Wilson, Danny Glover, Bill Murray

1459 Suicide Kings
Peter O'Fallon
Christopher Walken, Denis Leary, Sean Patrick Flanery, Johnny Galecki, Jay Mohr, Jeremy Sisto, Henry Thomas, Cliff DeYoung, Laura San Giacomo

1458 The Three Faces of Eve
Nunnally Johnson
Joanne Woodward, Lee J. Cobb

1457 Forced Vengeance
James Fargo
Chuck Norris, David Opatoshu, Frank Michael Liu

1456 The Ides of March
George Clooney
Ryan Gosling, George Clooney, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Paul Giamatti, Marisa Tomei, Jeffrey Wright and Evan Rachel Wood

1455 Some More of Samoa
Del Lord
The Three Stooges

1454 10 Items or Less
Brad Silberling
Morgan Freeman, Paz Vega

1453 Kill Bill Volume 1
Quentin Tarantino
Uma Thurman, Lucy Liu, Vivica A. Fox, David Carradine, Daryl Hannah, Michael Madsen

1452 Grown Ups
Dennis Dugan
Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, Rob Schneider, David Spade

1451 Once Upon a Time in America
Sergio Leone
Robert De Niro, James Woods, Tuesday Weld, Elizabeth McGovern, Joe Pesci, Jennifer Connelly, Treat Williams, Danny Aiello

1450 Butterflies Are Free
Milton Katselas
Goldie Hawn, Edward Albert, Eileen Heckart, Paul Michael Glaser

1449 The Landlord
Hal Ashby
Beau Bridges, Louis Gossett Jr., Lee Grant

1448 Big Trouble in Little China
John Carpenter
Kurt Russell, Kim Cattrall, Victor Wong

1447 Shaft
Gordon Parks
Richard Roundtree, Moses Gunn

1446 50/50
Jonathan Levine
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Seth Rogen, Anna Kendrick, Bryce Dallas Howard and Anjelica Huston

1445 Mother, Jugs & Speed
Peter Yates
Raquel Welch, Bill Cosby, Harvey Keitel

1444 The Santa Clause 2
Michael Lembeck
Tim Allen, Elizabeth Mitchell, David Krumholtz

1443 Doctor Detroit
Michael Pressman
Dan Aykroyd, Howard Hesseman, Fran Drescher, Lynn Whitfield

1442 The Verdict
Sidney Lumet
Paul Newman, Jack Warden, James Mason, Charlotte Rampling

1441 Shadow Conspiracy
George P. Cosmatos
Charlie Sheen, Donald Sutherland, Linda Hamilton, Sam Waterston

1440 The Sunshine Boys
Herbert Ross
Walter Matthau, George Burns

1439 Cue Ball Cat
Hanna Barbera
Tom and Jerry

1438 Who Is Harry Kellerman and Why Is He Saying Those Terrible Things About Me?
Ulu Grosbard
Dustin Hoffman, Jack Warden, Barbara Harris

1437 Love Me or Leave Me
Charles Vidor
Doris Day, James Cagney

1436 The Lincoln Conspiracy
James L. Conway
Bradford Dillman

1435 The Mackintosh Man
John Huston
Paul Newman, James Mason

1434 The Marine
John Bonito
John Cena, Kelly Carlson, Robert Patrick

1433 An American in Paris
Vincente Minnelli
Leslie Caron, Gene Kelly

1432 The French Connection
William Friedkin
Gene Hackman, Roy Scheider

1431 Bringing Down the House
Adam Shankman
Steve Martin, Queen Latifah, Eugene Levy

1430 G.I. Jane
Ridley Scott
Demi Moore, Viggo Mortensen, Anne Bancroft

1429 Butterfly
Matt Cimber
Pia Zadora, Ed McMahon, Orson Welles, Lois Nettleton, Edward Albert, Stacy Keach, June Lockhart

1428 Hulk
Ang Lee
Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Nick Nolte, Sam Elliott, Josh Lucas

1427 Prince of the City
Sidney Lumet
Treat Williams, Jerry Orbach, Lindsay Crouse, Bob Balaban, James Tolkan, Lane Smith, Lance Henriksen, Carmine Caridi

1426 Big Daddy
Dennis Dugan
Adam Sandler, Cole and Dylan Sprouse, Joey Lauren Adams, Jon Stewart, Rob Schneider

1425 Young Frankenstein
Mel Brooks
Gene Wilder, Peter Boyle, Marty Feldman, Madeline Kahn, Cloris Leachman, Teri Garr, Gene Hackman, Kenneth Mars

1424 The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer
Irving Reis
Cary Grant, Shirley Temple, Myrna Loy

1423 Flying Tigers
David Miller
John Wayne

1422 Howard the Duck
Willard Huyck
Lea Thompson, Jeffrey Jones, Tim Robbins

1421 Hope Floats
Forest Whitaker
Sandra Bullock, Harry Connick, Jr., Gena Rowlands

1420 Unaccompanied Minors
Paul Feig
Lewis Black, Wilmer Valderrama, Tyler James Williams

1419 The Love Guru
Marco Schnabel
Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Romany Malco, Justin Timberlake

1418 Flubber
Les Mayfield
Robin Williams

1417 Middle Men
George Gallo
Luke Wilson, Giovanni Ribisi, Gabriel Macht, James Caan, Jacinda Barrett, Laura Ramsey, Terry Crews, Rade Šerbedžija, Kelsey Grammer, Kevin Pollak, Robert Forster

1416 Snake Eyes
Brian De Palma
Nicolas Cage, Gary Sinise, Carla Gugino, John Heard, Stan Shaw

1415 Silent Movie
Mel Brooks
Mel Brooks, Dom DeLuise, Marty Feldman, Sid Caesar

1414 Charly
Ralph Nelson
Cliff Robertson, Claire Bloom

1413 Who's Minding the Store?
Frank Tashlin
Jerry Lewis, Jill St. John, Agnes Moorehead, Ray Walston

1412 He Said, She Said
Ken Kwapis
Kevin Bacon, Elizabeth Perkins, Nathan Lane, Sharon Stone

1411 The Mosquito Coast
Peter Weir
Harrison Ford, Helen Mirren, River Phoenix

1410 The Big Fix
Jeremy Kagan
Richard Dreyfuss, Susan Anspach, Bonnie Bedelia, John Lithgow

1409 Live and Let Die
Guy Hamilton
Roger Moore
James Bond: "Bond, James Bond"

1408 The Remains of the Day
James Ivory
Anthony Hopkins, Emma Thompson, James Fox, Christopher Reeve, Peter Vaughan, Ben Chaplin, Hugh Grant

1407 Panic Room
David Fincher
Jodie Foster, Kristen Stewart, Forest Whitaker, Jared Leto, Dwight Yoakam

1406 Money from Home
George Marshall
Dean Martin, Jerry Lewis

1405 The Big Shot
Lewis Seiler
Humphrey Bogart, Irene Manning

1404 Hot to Trot
Michael Dinner
Bobcat Goldthwait, Dabney Coleman

1403 Hit Parade of 1941
John H. Auer
Kenny Baker, Frances Langford, Hugh Herbert

1402 A Hole in the Head
Frank Capra
Frank Sinatra, Edward G. Robinson, Eleanor Parker, Carolyn Jones, Keenan Wynn, Eddie Hodges

1401 Marooned
John Sturges
Gregory Peck, Gene Hackman, David Janssen, Richard Crenna, James Franciscus, Lee Grant, Mariette Hartley

1400 Liar Liar
Tom Shadyac
Jim Carrey, Justin Cooper, Maura Tierney, Cary Elwes, Jennifer Tilly, Amanda Donohoe, Swoosie Kurtz
Fletcher: Your honor, I object!
Judge: Why?
Fletcher: Because it's devastating to my case!
Judge: Overruled.
Fletcher: Good call!

Guy in the Washroom: What the hell are you doing?
Fletcher: I'm kicking my ass! Do you mind?

1399 The Big Country
William Wyler
Gregory Peck, Charlton Heston, Jean Simmons, Carroll Baker, Burl Ives

1398 Oh Heavenly Dog
Joe Camp
Chevy Chase, Jane Seymour, Omar Sharif

1397 This Man's Navy
William Wellman
Wallace Beery, Tom Drake

1396 Loose Cannons
Bob Clark
Gene Hackman, Dan Aykroyd, Dom DeLuise

1395 Hostage
Florent Emilio Siri
Bruce Willis, Kevin Pollak

1394 North
Rob Reiner
Elijah Wood, Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Bruce Willis, Alan Arkin, Dan Aykroyd, Reba McEntire, Jon Lovitz, Kathy Bates, John Ritter, Faith Ford

1393 Mo' Money
Peter MacDonald
Damon Wayans, Marlon Wayans

1392 In Beaver Valley
James Algar
Winston Hibler

1391 Driven
Renny Harlin
Sylvester Stallone, Burt Reynolds, Kip Pardue, Til Schweiger, Gina Gershon, Estella Warren, Cristian de la Fuente

1390 White Man's Burden
Desmond Nakano
John Travolta, Harry Belafonte

1389 Independence Day: Resurgence
Roland Emmerich
Jeff Goldblum, Bill Pullman, Sela Ward, Liam Hemsworth, Vivica A. Fox, Judd Hirsch, William Fichtner, Patrick St. Esprit, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Brent Spiner, Jessie Usher, Maika Monroe, DeObia Oparei, Gbenga Akinnagbe, Chin Han, Angelababy, Joey King

1388 Man on a Ledge
Asger Leth
Sam Worthington, Ed Harris, Elizabeth Banks, Jamie Bell, Kyra Sedgwick

1387 Rules Don't Apply
Warren Beatty
Warren Beatty, Lily Collins, Alden Ehrenreich, Candice Bergen, Alec Baldwin, Annette Bening, Ed Harris, Martin Sheen, Oliver Platt, Steve Coogan, Matthew Broderick

1386 Safe House
Daniel Espinosa
Denzel Washington, Ryan Reynolds, Sam Shepard, Robert Patrick, Liam Cunningham, Brendon Gleeson, Vera Farmiga, Fares Fares, Nora Arnezeder, Joel Kinnaman, Rubén Blades

1385 Spectre
Sam Mendes
Daniel Craig, Christoph Waltz, Léa Seydoux, Monica Bellucci, Ralph Fiennes, Naomie Harris, Ben Whishaw, Dave Bautista, Andrew Scott, Rory Kinnear, Jesper Christensen

1384 The Magnificent Seven
Antoine Fuqua
Denzel Washington, Chris Pratt, Ethan Hawke, Vincent D'Onofrio, Lee Byung-hun, Luke Grimes, Wagner Moura, Haley Bennett, Matt Bomer, Peter Sarsgaard

1383 Days of Heaven
Terrence Malick
Richard Gere, Brooke Adams

1382 The Black Godfather
John Evans
Rod Perry

1381 The Greatest Story Ever Told
George Stevens
Max von Sydow, Charlton Heston, Jose Ferrer, Claude Rains, Angela Lansbury, David McCallum, Telly Savalas, Sidney Poitier, John Wayne

1380 Forty Shades of Blue
Ira Sachs
Rip Torn, Dina Korzun, Darren E. Burrows

1379 Jo Jo Dancer, Your Life Is Calling
Richard Pryor
Richard Pryor, Paula Kelly, Wings Hauser

1378 How to Commit Marriage
Norman Panama
Bob Hope, Jackie Gleason, Jane Wyman

1377 I, Robot
Alex Proyas
Will Smith, Bridget Moynahan

1376 X-Men: The Last Stand
Brett Ratner
Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen

1375 In Old Oklahoma
Albert S. Rogell
John Wayne, Gabby Hayes, Dale Evans

1374 Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
Carlos Saldanha, Mike Thurmeier
Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, Denis Leary, Queen Latifah, Josh Peck, Simon Pegg

1373 Bandslam
Todd Graff
Aly Michalka, Vanessa Hudgens, Gaelan Connell, Scott Porter, Lisa Kudrow
"Charlotte Banksasks: Hi, I'm Charlotte. Nice to meet you.
Sa5m: I've known you since 5th grade.
Charlotte Banksasks: ...Hmm.

Will Burton: I think if you tried signaling, people would honk less.
Charlotte Banksasks: They don't need to know my business.
Will Burton: ...It's not really a privacy issue.
1372 A Prairie Home Companion
Robert Altman
Garrison Keillor, Woody Harrelson, Tommy Lee Jones, Kevin Kline, Lindsay Lohan, Meryl Streep

1371 Cleopatra
Joseph Mankiewicz
Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton, Rex Harrison

1370 Class of 1984
Mark L. Lester
Perry King, Timothy Van Patten, Michael J. Fox

1369 SpaceCamp
Harry Winer
Kate Capshaw, Lea Thompson, Kelly Preston, Larry B. Scott
Kevin: What's the worst thing that can happen? We'll all die, right?

1368 X-Men: First Class
Matthew Vaughn
James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Kevin Bacon, January Jones, Rose Byrne, Nicholas Hoult, Jennifer Lawrence, Oliver Platt, Ray Wise, Zoë Kravitz, Caleb Landry Jones, Lucas Till, Edi Gathegi, Jason Flemyng

1367 Jumper
Doug Liman
Samuel L. Jackson, Hayden Christensen, Rachel Bilson, Jamie Bell

1366 Inside Man
Spike Lee
Denzel Washington, Clive Owen, Jodie Foster

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