If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.

Friday, May 26, 2017

We're getting closer...

The I’m just sayin… Top 2,982 Movies of All-Time Countdown

140 The Cannonball Run
Hal Needham
Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLuise, Farrah Fawcett, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Roger Moore, Jackie Chan

139 Another 48 Hrs.
Walter Hill
Eddie Murphy, Nick Nolte

138 Terms of Endearment
James L. Brooks
Shirley MacLaine, Debra Winger, Jack Nicholson, Jeff Daniels, Danny DeVito, John Lithgow

137 Batman
Tim Burton
Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson, Kim Basinger, Robert Wuhl, Jack Palance, Billy Dee Williams

136 Eight Men Out
John Sayles
John Cusack, Charlie Sheen, David Strathairn, John Mahoney, Clifton James, D. B. Sweeney, Studs Terkel

135 Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
Frank Capra
James Stewart, Jean Arthur, Claude Rains

134 Rocky III
Sylvester Stallone
Sylvester Stallone, Carl Weathers, Talia Shire, Burgess Meredith, Burt Young, Mr. T, Hulk Hogan
Clubber Lang: "I pity the fool"

Interviewer: "What's your prediction for the fight?"
Clubber Lang: "My prediction?"
Interviewer: "Yes, your prediction".
[Clubber looks into camera]
Clubber Lang: "Pain!"

Apollo Creed: "Now, when we fought, you had that eye of the tiger, man; the edge! And now you gotta get it back, and the way to get it back is to go back to the beginning. You know what I mean?"

Rocky Balboa: "You ain't so bad, you ain't so bad, you ain't nothin'. C'mon, champ, hit me in the face! My mom hits harder than you!"

Clubber Lang: [Calling to Adrian; Smooth talks] "Hey, Woman. Hey, Woman! Listen here. Since your old man ain't got no heart, maybe you like to see a real man. I bet you stay up late every night dreamin' you had a real man, don't ya? I'll tell you what. Bring your pretty little self over to my apartment tonight, and I'll show you a real man".

Clubber Lang: "I'm going to bust you up".
Rocky Balboa: "Go for it".

Apollo Creed: [during the rematch with Lang] "He's gettin' killed out there!"
Paulie: "No, no, no! He ain't gettin' killed; he's gettin' mad!"

133 The Bad News Bears
Michael Ritchie
Walter Matthau, Tatum O'Neal, Chris Barnes, Vic Morrow

132 Magnum Force
Ted Post
Clint Eastwood, Hal Holbrook, Tim Matheson, David Soul

131 Goldfinger
Guy Hamilton
Sean Connery
James Bond: "Bond, James Bond"

130 Missing in Action
Joseph Zito
Chuck Norris, James Hong, M. Emmet Walsh

129 The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
Andrew Adamson
William Mosely, Anna Popplewell, Skandar Keynes, Georgie Henley

128 Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Adam McKay
Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Sacha Baron Cohen
Ricky Bobby: "You sick, sons of bitches. I mean you walk in that door, on your two legs... all fat and cocky and lookin at me in my chair. And you tell me its all in my head? I hope that both of you have sons... Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons, who are talented and star athletes and they have their legs taken away. I mean I pray you know that pain and that hurt".
Lucius Washington: [enraged] "Don't you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby! Don't you put that on us! You are NOT paralyzed!"

Ricky Bobby, Cal Naughton, Jr.: "Shake and bake!"

Texas Ranger: "Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!"

Texas Ranger: "Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!"

Ricky Bobby: "Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin' there in your ghost manger, just lookin' at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin' me and my mama together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers".

Cal Naughton, Jr.: "I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagles wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk!"

Ricky Bobby: [running around on the track in his underwear] "Help me Jesus! Help me Jewish God! Help me Allah! AAAAAHHH! Help me Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me!"

127 Jurassic Park
Steven Spielberg
Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough

126 The Maltese Falcon
John Huston
Humphrey Bogart, Mary Astor, Sydney Greenstreet, Peter Lorre

125 Ocean's Twelve
Steven Soderbergh
George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Andy Garcia, Don Cheadle, Bernie Mac, Julia Roberts

124 Young Guns
Christopher Cain
Emilio Estevez, Kiefer Sutherland, Charlie Sheen, Lou Diamond Phillips, Dermot Mulroney, Casey Siemaszko
Charley Bowdre: "It ain't easy having pals".

Doc: "Advices from Lincoln report that Jose Chavez Y Chavez moved to California where he changed his name and took work on a fruit ranch. Josiah 'Doc' Scurlock is reported to have left the West for the East, taking with him a celestial bride, her mother and fourteen brothers and sisters. Susan McSween went on to see both her husband's and John Tunstall's dreams to fruition, by becoming one of most prominent cattlewomen of all time. Governor Axtel was forced to resign by President Rutherford B. Hayes and both the Murphy-Dolan faction and the Santa Fe Ring collapsed. William H. Bonney, also known as 'Billy the Kid' continued to ride, never leaving New Mexico. He was caught in Fort Sumner by Sheriff Pat Garret and killed. Sources report that he was unarmed, and shot in the dark. He was buried with Charley Bowdre at Old Fort Sumner. Advices report that sometime later, an unidentified person snuck into the graveyard and chiseled an inscription. The epitaph read only one word... 'Pals'".

123 Beverly Hills Cop II
Tony Scott
Eddie Murphy, Judge Reinhold, Brigitte Nielsen, Jürgen Prochnow, Ronny Cox, John Ashton, Paul Reiser

122 Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
David Yates
Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Jim Broadbent, Helena Bonham Carter, Robbie Coltrane, Warwick Davis, Michael Gambon, Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Timothy Spall, David Thewlis, Julie Walters

121 Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
Richard Marquand
Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams
Luke: "Ben! Why didn't you tell me? You told me that Darth Vader betrayed and murdered my father".
Obi-Wan: "Your father... was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and "became" Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view".

Lando Calrissian: "That blast came from the Death Star! That thing's operational!"

Luke: "There's nothing to see. I used to live here, you know".
Han Solo: "You're gonna die here, you know. Convenient".

Princess Leia: "I love you".
Han Solo: "I know".

Han Solo: "I have a really bad feeling about this".

120 Major League
David S. Ward
Tom Berenger, Charlie Sheen, Corbin Bernsen, Rene Russo
Heywood: "How's your wife and my kids?"

Harry Doyle: "In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't, the Indians have managed to win a few here and there, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar".

Harry Doyle: "That's all we got, one goddamn hit?"
Assistant: "You can't say goddamn on the air".
Harry Doyle: "Don't worry, nobody is listening anyway".

Eddie Harris: "You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?"

Harry Doyle: "JUST a bit outside".

119 Spies Like Us
John Landis
Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, Bernie Casey
Russian Interregator #1: "Why are you here?"
Emmett Fitz-Hume: "Why am I here? Why are you here? Why is anybody here? I think it was Jean-Paul Sartre who once said... how do you spell spell Sartre?"
[soldier slaps him]
Emmett Fitz-Hume: "Owww... and let that be a lesson to you".

Russian Interregator #2: "Every minute you don't tell us why you are here, I cut off a finger".
Emmett Fitz-Hume: "Mine or yours?"
Russian Interregator #2: "Yours".
Emmett Fitz-Hume: "Damn!"

[Surrounded by Ninja warriors]
Emmett Fitz-Hume: "Alright. Stop right there... and I'll bring back the sun. Okay..."
[Shows a picture from his wallet]
Emmett Fitz-Hume: "This is my sister. You can all have her. I hear she's very good".

118 Live Free or Die Hard
Len Wiseman
Bruce Willis, Justin Long

117 Ghostbusters II
Ivan Reitman
Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Sigourney Weaver, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis, Ernie Hudson, Annie Potts, Peter MacNicol
Louis Tully: "So the 7 little dwarves had a limited partnership in a small mining operation. And one day a beautiful princess came to live with them. And they bartered housekeeping services for room and board, which was a real good deal for them because they didn't have to withhold social security or income tax or nothin', which you're really not supposed to do, you see, but for the purpose of the story, I think it's okay".

116 Rambo: First Blood Part II
George P. Cosmatos
Sylvester Stallone, Julia Nickson-Soul, Richard Crenna

115 The Godfather Part III
Francis Ford Coppola
Al Pacino, Andy García, Diane Keaton, Talia Shire, Sofia Coppola, Joe Mantegna, Bridget Fonda, George Hamilton, Eli Wallach
Michael Corleone: "Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in".

114 Rocky II
Sylvester Stallone
Sylvester Stallone, Carl Weathers, Talia Shire, Burgess Meredith, Burt Young
Interviewer: "Do you have a criminal record?"
Rocky Balboa: "Nothin' worth braggin' about".

Rocky Balboa: "It's Apollo".
Mickey: "Who were you expecting?"
Rocky Balboa: "I was hoping he wouldn't show".

Mickey: "You're gonna eat lightnin'; you're gonna crap thunder".

Rocky Balboa: "I just got one thing to say... to my wife at home: Yo, Adrian! I DID IT!"

Rocky Balboa: "Hey yo, Mick, what do I got to chase a chicken for?"
Mickey: "First, because I said so. And second, is because chicken-chasing is how we used to train back in the old days. If you can catch this thing, you can catch greased lighting".

113 Creed
Ryan Coogler
Michael B. Jordan, Sylvester Stallone, Tessa Thompson, Graham McTavish, Tony Bellew, Phylicia Rashad, Andre Ward

112 For Love of the Game
Sam Raimi
Kevin Costner, Kelly Preston, John C. Reilly, Brian Cox

111 Rumor Has It...
Rob Reiner
Jennifer Aniston, Kevin Costner, Shirley MacLaine, Mark Ruffalo
Sarah: "Maybe every girl in my family have to sleep with you".
Beau Burroughs: "I don't know if they have to, but they certainly have".

Katherine: "Come on in, I'll put on a pot of Bourbon".

Katherine: [meeting Jeff] "You don't look like a lawyer..."
Jeff: "You don't look like a Grandma".
Katherine: "You ARE a lawyer! Full of shit".

Katharine: "Life is short, but marriage is long... so drink up, and it will make it go a hell of a lot faster".

110 Spotlight
Tom McCarthy
Mark Ruffalo, Michael Keaton, Rachel McAdams, Liev Schreiber, John Slattery, Stanley Tucci

109 Unbroken
Angelina Jolie
Jack O'Connell, Miyavi, Domhnall Gleeson, Garrett Hedlund, Jai Courtney

108 Rebel Without a Cause
Nicholas Ray
James Dean, Natalie Wood

107 Ocean's Eleven
Lewis Milestone
Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Peter Lawford, Joey Bishop, Angie Dickinson, Richard Conte, Cesar Romero
Jimmy Foster: "I made a cardinal rule: never to answer the 'phone in December".
Massuese: "That's crazy. Why?"
Jimmy Foster: "Because one December, every time I picked up the 'phone they sent me out into the snow to play with my friends. That was at the Bulge".

106 Schindler's List
Steven Spielberg
Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Ben Kingsley, Caroline Goodall, Jonathan Sagall, Embeth Davidtz

105 Trading Places
John Landis
Eddie Murphy, Dan Aykroyd, Jamie Lee Curtis, Don Ameche, Ralph Bellamy
Louis Winthorpe III: "I had the most absurd nightmare. I was poor and no one liked me. I lost my job, I lost my house, Penelope hated me and it was all because of this terrible, awful Negro".

104 We Are Marshall
Matthew McConaughey, Matthew Fox, Anthony Mackie
Jack Lengyel: "For those of you who may not know, this is the final resting place for six members of the 1970 Thundering Herd. The plane crash that took their lives was so severe, so absolute, that their bodies were unable to be identified. So they were buried here. Together. Six players. Six teammates. Six Sons of Marshall. This is our past, gentlemen. This is where we have been. This is how we got here. This is who we are. Today, I want to talk about our opponent this afternoon. They're bigger, faster, stronger, more experienced and on paper, they're just better. And they know it too. But I want to tell you something that they don't know. They don't know your heart. I do. I've seen it. You have shown it to me. You have shown this coaching staff, your teammates. You have shown yourselves just exactly who you are in here".
[Thumps his chest]
Jack Lengyel: "When you take that field today, you've got to lay that heart on the line, men. From the souls of your feet, with every ounce of blood you've got in your body, lay it on the line until the final whistle blows. And if you do that, if you do that, we cannot lose. We may be behind on the scoreboard at the end of the game but if you play like that we cannot be defeated. Now we came here today to remember six young men and sixty-nine others who will not be on the field with you today, but they will be watching. You can bet your ass that they'll be gritting their teeth with every snap of that football. You understand me? How you play today, from this moment on is how you will be remembered. This is your opportunity to rise from these ashes and grab glory. We are..."
Young Thundering Herd: "Marshall!"
Jack Lengyel: "We are".
Young Thundering Herd: "Marshall!"
Jack Lengyel: "We are!"
Young Thundering Herd: "Marshall!"

103 The Jerk
Carl Reiner
Steve Martin, Bernadette Peters
Navin R. Johnson: "Huh? I am *not* a bum. I'm a jerk. I once had wealth, power, and the love of a beautiful woman. Now I only have two things: my friends, and... uh... my thermos. Huh? My story? Okay. It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi..."

Navin R. Johnson: "For one dollar I'll guess your weight, your height, or your sex".

Navin R. Johnson: "Well I'm gonna to go then! And I don't need any of this. I don't need this stuff, and I don't need *you*. I don't need anything. Except this".
[picks up an ashtray]
Navin R. Johnson: "And that's the only thing I need is *this*. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray... And this paddle game. - The ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need... And this remote control. - The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need... And these matches. - The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control, and the paddle ball... And this lamp. - The ashtray, this paddle game, and the remote control, and the lamp, and that's all *I* need. And that's *all* I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one... I need this. - The paddle game and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches for sure. Well what are you looking at? What do you think I'm some kind of a jerk or something! - And this. That's all I need".
[walking outside]
Navin R. Johnson: "The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, and this magazine, and the chair".
Navin R. Johnson: [outside now] "And I don't need one other thing, except my dog".
[Shithead growls at him]
Navin R. Johnson: "I don't need my dog".

102 Scarface
Brian De Palma
Al Pacino, Michelle Pfeiffer, Steven Bauer, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Robert Loggia
Tony Montana: "Say hello to my little friend!"

101 Hoosiers
David Anspaugh
Gene Hackman, Barbara Hershey, Dennis Hopper, Sheb Wooley
Coach Norman Dale: "My practices aren't designed for your enjoyment".

Coach Norman Dale: "If you put your effort and concentration into playing to your potential, to be the best that you can be, I don't care what the scoreboard says at the end of the game, in my book we're gonna be winners".

No comments:

Post a Comment