If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Movies 25 to 11...

The I’m just sayin… Top 2,982 Movies of All-Time Countdown

25 Grease
Randal Kleiser
John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John, Stockard Channing

24 Frozen
Jennifer Lee
Kristen Bell, Idina Menzel, Josh Gad, Jonathan Groff, Alan Tudyk, Santino Fontana, Chris Williams

23 Deadpool
Tim Miller
Ryan Reynolds, Gina Carano, T. J. Miller, Ed Skrein, Morena Baccarin, Stefan Kapicic, Leslie Uggams, Brianna Hildebrand, Jed Rees

22 Star Wars: The Force Awakens
J. J. Abrams
Harrison Ford, Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac, Carrie Fisher, Lupita Nyong'o, Andy Serkis, Domhnall Gleeson, Anthony Daniels, Max von Sydow, Peter Mayhew, Mark Hamill

21 Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
Nicholas Meyer
William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, Ricardo Montalban
McCoy: [to Spock] "Are you out of your Vulcan mind?"


Kirk: "Spock!"
Spock: "The ship... out of danger?"
Kirk: "Yes".
Spock: "Don't grieve, Admiral. It is logical. The needs of the many outweigh…"
Kirk: "...the needs of the few..."
Spock: "...Or the one. I never took the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?"
Spock: "I have been and always shall be your friend".
[Holds up his hand in the Vulcan salute]
Spock: "Live long and prosper".

20 Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
Irvin Kershner
Carrie Fisher, Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, Billy Dee Williams
Princess Leia: "Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerf herder".
Han Solo: "Who's scruffy-looking?"

C-3PO: "Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1".
Han Solo: "Never tell me the odds".

Han Solo: "Laugh it up, fuzzball".

Yoda: "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try".

Darth Vader: "If you only knew the power of the Dark Side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father".
Luke: "He told me enough! He told me *you* killed him!"

Darth Vader: "No. *I* am your father".

Princess Leia: "I have a bad feeling about this..."

19 The Hangover
Todd Phillips
Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Heather Graham, Justin Bartha
Stu Price: [playing piano and singing passionately] "What do tigers dream of when they take their little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit? Don't you worry your pretty striped head, we're gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed. And then we're gonna find our best friend Doug, and then we're gonna give him a best friend hug. Doug, Doug, oh, Doug, Dougie, Dougie, Doug, Doug! But if he's been murdered by crystal meth tweakers," [stops suddenly] "well then we're shit out of luck".

18 Old School
Todd Phillips
Luke Wilson, Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn
Frank: [out of breath] "We're... We're going streaking! We're going up the quad and to the gymnasium".

Frank: "I'll be in the neighborhood later on, and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get some frozen yogurt, or perhaps a whole meal of food, if that would be agreeable. Damnit".

Frank: "Anything? Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And, uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think, well, maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling... what? What, I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not?"

Frank: "Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time".

Frank: [Crying] "You're my boy, Blue!"

Beanie: "You think I like avoiding my wife and kids to hangout with nineteen-year-old girls everyday?"


[During Frank's wedding]
Frank: "Hey, I just want to thank you one last time for being here. It's the best day ever".
Beanie: "Don't even start with me, Franklin, okay? You need to walk away from this ASAP".
Frank: "What?"
Beanie: "You need to get out, Frankie. This is it. It's now or never. You need to get out of here while you're still single".
Frank: "I'm not single".
Beanie: "She's 30 yards away, you're single now".
Frank: "Come on, Marissa's the best thing that's ever happened to me".
Beanie: "Why don't you give that six months. You don't think that'll change? I got a wife, kids. Do I seem like a happy guy to you, Frankie?"
Beanie: "There's my wife. See that? Always smiling? Hi, honey. Judging, watching, 'Look at the baby'".
Mitch Martin: "She's coming down the aisle, Beanie. Let it go".

17 National Lampoon's Animal House
John Landis
Tim Matheson, Tom Hulce, John Belushi, John Vernon, Peter Riegert, Karen Allen, Verna Bloom, Kevin Bacon, Donald Sutherland
Bluto: "They took the bar! The whole f--king bar!"

Bluto: "What? Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"
Otter: [to Boon] "Germans?"
Boon: "Forget it, he's rolling".
Bluto: "And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough..." [thinks hard of something to say] "The tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go!"

Bluto: "Christ. Seven years of college down the drain. Might as well join the f--king Peace Corps".

Hoover: "They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal!"

Bluto: "TOGA! TOGA!"

[Dean Wormer's plotting to get rid of Delta House]
Greg Marmalard: "But Delta's already on probation".
Dean Vernon Wormer: "They are? Well, as of this moment, they're on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION!"

Otter: "Point of parliamentary procedure!"
Hoover: "Don't screw around, they're serious this time!"
Otter: "Take it easy, I'm pre-law".
Boon: "I thought you were pre-med".
Otter: "What's the difference?"
[Addressing the room]
Otter: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests - we did". [winks at Dean Wormer] "But you can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!"
[Leads the Deltas out of the hearing, all humming the Star-Spangled Banner]

16 Smokey and the Bandit
Hal Needham
Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field, Jerry Reed
Buford T. Justice: [to his son] "There's no way, *no* way that you came from *my* loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I'm gonna do is punch yo mamma in da mouth!"

Buford T. Justice: "What we're dealing with here is a complete lack of respect for the law".

Sheriff Branford: "The fact that you are a sheriff is not germane to the situation".
Buford T. Justice: "The g-d damn Germans got nothin' to do with it".

15 Die Hard 2
Renny Harlin
Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Atherton, Dennis Franz, Fred Thompson, Franco Nero
Grant: "You're the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time".
John McClane: "Story of my life".

Grant: "Too bad, McClane. I kind of liked you".
John McClane: "I got enough friends".

John McClane: "Yippie-kai-yay, motherf--ker".

14 Straight Outta Compton
F. Gary Gray
O'Shea Jackson Jr., Corey Hawkins, Jason Mitchell, Aldis Hodge, Neil Brown Jr.

13 The Sound of Music
Robert Wise
Julie Andrews, Christopher Plummer, Peggy Wood, Eleanor Parker, Charmian Carr, Angela Cartwright, Richard Haydn

12 Brian's Song
Buzz Kulik
James Caan, Billy Dee Williams, Shelley Fabares

11 The Godfather Part II
Francis Ford Coppola
Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Lee Strasberg, Diane Keaton, Robert Duvall, John Cazale, Talia Shire, Bruno Kirby, Michael V. Gazzo
Michael Corleone: "I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!"

Michael Corleone: "There are many things my father taught me here in this room. He taught me: keep your friends close, but your enemies closer".

Michael Corleone: "I don't feel I have to wipe everybody out, Tom. Just my enemies".

Michael Corleone: "If anything in this life is certain, if history has taught us anything, it is that you can kill anyone".

Senator Pat Geary: "I want your answer and the money by noon tomorrow. And one more thing. Don't you contact me again, ever. From now on, you deal with Turnbull".
Michael Corleone: "Senator? You can have my answer now, if you like. My final offer is this: nothing. Not even the fee for the gaming license, which I would appreciate if you would put up personally".

Hyman Roth: "There was this kid I grew up with; he was younger than me. Sorta looked up to me, you know. We did our first work together, worked our way out of the street. Things were good, we made the most of it. During Prohibition, we ran molasses into Canada... made a fortune, your father, too. As much as anyone, I loved him and trusted him. Later on he had an idea to build a city out of a desert stop-over for GI's on the way to the West Coast. That kid's name was Moe Greene, and the city he invented was Las Vegas. This was a great man, a man of vision and guts. And there isn't even a plaque, or a signpost or a statue of him in that town! Someone put a bullet through his eye. No one knows who gave the order. When I heard it, I wasn't angry; I knew Moe, I knew he was head-strong, talking loud, saying stupid things. So when he turned up dead, I let it go. And I said to myself, this is the business we've chosen; I didn't ask who gave the order, because it had nothing to do with business!"

Tom Hagen: "Why do you hurt me, Michael? I've always been loyal to you".

Hyman Roth: "I'm going in to take a nap. When I wake, if the money's on the table, I'll know I have a partner. If it isn't, I'll know I don't".

Tom Hagen: "Mikey, you all right?"
Michael Corleone: "Yeah -- there's a lot I can't tell you -- and I now that's upset you in the past".
Tom Hagen: "A little".
Michael Corleone: "Yeah -- you felt it was because of some lack of trust of confidence -- but it's -- it's, because I admire you and I love you that I kept things secret from you. That's why at his moment you're the only one I completely trust. Fredo -- ah, he's got a good heart -- but he's week, and he's stupid, and this is life and death. TOM, you're my brother".
Tom Hagen: "I always wanted to thought of as a brother by you, Mikey -- a real brother".
Michael Corleone: "I know. You're gonna take over -- you're gonna be the Don. If what I think has happened has happened, I'm gonna leave here tonight. I give you complete power, Tom -- over Fredo and his men, Rocco, Neri, everyone. I am trusting you with the lives of my wife and my children -- the future of this family".

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