If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Still Counting Down...

The I’m just sayin… Top 2,982 Movies of All-Time Countdown

190 Necessary Roughness
Stan Dragoti
Scott Bakula, Hector Elizondo, Sinbad, Robert Loggia, Kathy Ireland
Coach Rig: "Now, let's analyze what's been working for us".
[Long pause]
Coach Rig: "NOT A G--D--- THING'S been working for us. Like this g--d---- suit doesn't work for me... and this stinking tie... and this g--d---ed shirt. IT DOESN'T WORK FOR ME. YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY WINNING HARD-NOSED FOOTBALL? YOU PLAY FOOTBALL LIKE ED GENERRO PLAYED FOOTBALL. A guy who gave his life for this football team. He was a 140-pound halfback, and HE PLAYED LIKE A G--D--- WILDMAN! NO! LIKE A G--D--- RAMPAGING BEAST! And that's the way you got to do it! YOU GO OUT THERE! YOU TEAR THEIR F---ING HEADS OFF, AND YOU S--T DOWN THEIR NECKS! Let us pray".

189 Wrestling Ernest Hemingway
Randa Haines
Robert Duvall, Richard Harris, Shirley MacLaine, Sandra Bullock

188 Swingers
Doug Liman
Jon Favreau, Vince Vaughn, Ron Livingston, Alex Désert, Patrick Van Horn, Heather Graham
Trent: "Look at this, okay? I want you to remember this face, here. Okay? This is the guy behind the guy behind the guy".

Trent: "You're so money and you don't even know it!"

187 JFK
Oliver Stone
Kevin Costner, Tommy Lee Jones, Gary Oldman, Joe Pesci, Kevin Bacon, Sissy Spacek, Donald Sutherland, Laurie Metcalf, John Candy, Ed Asner, Michael Rooker, Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau

186 Lethal Weapon 2
Richard Donner
Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci
[about to pull Murtaugh off the booby-trapped toilet]
Martin Riggs: "On three, what do ya say?"
Roger Murtaugh: "Okay".
Martin Riggs: "One... two…"
Roger Murtaugh: "Wait, wait, wait!"
Martin Riggs: "What?"
Roger Murtaugh: "Do we do it on three? Or one, two, three, then do it?"
Martin Riggs: "It's your ass, Cochise!"
Roger Murtaugh: "My ass, yeah. On three".
Martin Riggs: "We go on three?"
Roger Murtaugh: "Yeah".

[At the South African Consulate]
Roger Murtaugh: "How you doin'?"
[his handshake is ignored by the Envoy]
Consulate Envoy: "I think there must be some mistake".
Roger Murtaugh: "Say what?"
Consulate Envoy: "Listen to your friend here, he knows what he's talking about. I don't think you want to go to South Africa".
Roger Murtaugh: "Why not?"
Consulate Envoy: "Because you're black!"
Leo Getz: [to Murtaugh] "You are".
Leo Getz: [to Envoy] "He is".

185 The Karate Kid, Part II
John G. Avildsen
Ralph Macchio, Pat Morita
Daniel: "You think you could break a log like that?"
Miyagi: "Don't know. Never been attacked by a tree".

184 Police Academy
Hugh Wilson
Steve Guttenberg, Kim Cattrall, G. W. Bailey

183 Rocky Balboa
Sylvester Stallone
Sylvester Stallone, Burt Young
Mason 'The Line' Dixon: [before the final round] "You one crazy old man".
Rocky Balboa: "You'll get there".

Rocky Balboa: "I'd hold you up to say to your mother, "this kid's gonna be the best kid in the world. This kid's gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew." And you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watching you, every day was like a privilige. Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you're no good. And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that! I'm always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You're my son and you're my blood. You're the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, ya ain't gonna have a life".

182 Glory
Edward Zwick
Matthew Broderick, Denzel Washington, Morgan Freeman, Cary Elwes, Andre Braugher

181 Finding Nemo
Andrew Stanton, Lee Unkrich
Albert Brooks, Ellen DeGeneres, Alexander Gould

180 Philadelphia
Jonathan Demme
Tom Hanks, Denzel Washington, Antonio Banderas, Jason Robards, Mary Steenburgen, Joanne Woodward

179 Fred Claus
David Dobkin
Vince Vaughn, Paul Giamatti

178 Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed
Nathan Frankowski
The conflicts between intelligent design and evolution

177 Father of the Bride
Charles Shyer
Steve Martin, Diane Keaton, Kimberly Williams, Martin Short, George Newbern

176 Jungle Book
Wolfgang Reitherman
Bruce Reitherman, Phil Harris, George Sanders

175 Spaceballs
Mel Brooks
John Candy, Bill Pullman, Rick Moranis, Joan Rivers, Daphne Zuniga, Dick van Patten, John Hurt, Mel Brooks
Dark Helmet: "So the combination is... one, two, three, four, five? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard in my life! That's the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!"

174 Marked for Death
Dwight H. Little
Steven Seagal, Keith David
Max: "Well?"
John Hatcher: "One thought he was invincible... the other thought he could fly".
Max: "So?"
John Hatcher: "They were both wrong".

173 Cinderella
3 directors
Ilene Woods

172 Wall Street
Oliver Stone
Charlie Sheen, Michael Douglas, Daryl Hannah, Martin Sheen, Terrence Stamp, James Spader, Hal Holbrook, Sean Young
Gordon Gekko: "The point is ladies and gentlemen that greed, for lack of a better word, is good".

171 Wayne's World
Penelope Spheeris
Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Rob Lowe, Tia Carrere
Wayne Campbell: "Garth, marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries".

Wayne Campbell: "No way!"
Garth Algar: "Way!"

170 Star Trek Generations
David Carson
Patrick Stewart, William Shatner

169 Lean on Me
John G. Avildsen
Morgan Freeman, Lynne Thigpen, Robert Guillaume
Joe Clark: "You've tried it your way for years, and your students can't even pass the State's Minimum Basic Skills Test. THAT MEANS THEY CAN BARELY READ! Now, they've given me one year to turn this place around - to get those test scores up - so that the State will not take us over to perform the task which YOU have failed to accomplish: the task of EDUCATING OUR CHILDREN! So forget about the way it used to be. This is not a damn democracy! We are in a state of emergency and my word is law! There's only one boss around here, and that's me. The HNIC".

168 Transformers
Michael Bay
Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson

167 Toy Story
John Lasseter
Tim Allen, Tom Hanks (voices)
Buzz: "To infinity, and beyond!"

166 Ocean's Thirteen
Steven Soderbergh
George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Andy Garcia, Don Cheadle, Bernie Mac, Ellen Barkin, Al Pacino
Terry Benedict: "You think this is funny?"
Danny Ocean: "Well, Terry, it sure as shit ain't sad".

Danny Ocean: "You shook Sinatra's hand. You should know better".

165 Maverick
Richard Donner
Mel Gibson, Jodie Foster, James Garner
Annabelle: "What is it with you and Indians anyway?"
Maverick: "Oh, nothing. I try and shoot one a day, if possible, before noon. How 'bout you, Coop? I figure it's their fault for being on our land before we got here".

Maverick: "After you is ugly Annie Bransford. When she was born, she came out backwards and no one noticed. Hell, when she was little, her parents had to tie a pork chop around her neck so the dog would play with her. When she's making love, she has to pretend SHE'S someone else!"

164 Red Dawn
John Milius
Patrick Swayze, Lea Thompson, Charlie Sheen, C. Thomas Howell, Jennifer Grey, Harry Dean Stanton, Ben Johnson, Powers Boothe

163 Hard to Kill
Bruce Malmuth
Steven Seagal, Kelly LeBrock
[Storm fires a shot between the Senator's legs]
Mason Storm: "I missed! I never miss! They must have been smaller than I thought!"

162 Platoon
Oliver Stone
Tom Berenger, Willem Dafoe, Charlie Sheen

161 Cannonball Run II
Hal Needham
Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLuise, Dean Martin, Shirley MacLaine, Sammy Davis, Jr., Marilu Henner, Jackie Chan, Frank Sinatra
Don Canneloni: "In the past, the Canneloni family was the most powerful of the families. We controlled drugs, prostitution, extortion, prostitution, gambling…"
Slim: "Uh, you said 'prostitution' twice".
Don Canneloni: "Well, I like it".

160 The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!
David Zucker
Leslie Nielsen, Priscilla Presley, George Kennedy, O.J. Simpson
Frank: "It's true what they say: Cops and women don't mix. It's like eating a spoonful of Drano; sure, it'll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow inside".

Frank: "It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day".
Jane: "Goodyear?"
Frank: "No, the worst".

Frank: [sings] "Oh say can you see / By the dawn's early light / What so proudly we hail / In the twilight's last gleaming? / Whose bright stripes and broad stars / In the perilous night / For the ramparts we watched / uh, da-da-da-da-da-daaaa. / And the rocket's red glare / Lots of bombs in the air / Gave proof to the night / That we still had our flag. / Oh say does that flag banner wave / Over a-a-all that's free / And the home of the land / And the land of the - FREE!"

159 Unforgiven
Clint Eastwood
Clint Eastwood, Gene Hackman, Morgan Freeman, Richard Harris

158 Days of Thunder
Tony Scott
Tom Cruise, Robert Duvall, Randy Quaid, Nicole Kidman, Cary Elwes
Harry Hogge: "Cole, you're wandering all over the track!"
Cole Trickle: "Yeah, well this sonofabitch just slammed into me".
Harry Hogge: "No, no, he didn't slam you, he didn't bump you, he didn't nudge you... he *rubbed* you. And rubbin, son, is racin'".

157 Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
George Lucas
Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen
Obi-Wan Kenobi [to Anakin]: "Why do I get the feeling you're going to be the death of me?"
Anakin: "I've got a bad feeling about this".

156 K-9
Rod Daniel
James Belushi, Mel Harris

155 The Karate Kid
John G. Avildsen
Ralph Macchio, Pat Morita, Elisabeth Shue, William Zabka
Miyagi: "Wax on... wax off. Wax on... wax off".

Kreese: "Sweep the leg".

154 Lethal Weapon
Richard Donner
Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Gary Busey

153 Boyz n the Hood
John Singleton
Ice Cube, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Morris Chestnut, Laurence Fishburne, Angela Bassett, Nia Long

152 Rush Hour
Brett Ratner
Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker, Tom Wilkinson

151 Thirteen Days
Roger Donaldson
Kevin Costner, Bruce Greenwood, Dylan Baker, Steven Culp, Len Cariou, Kevin Conway

150 Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
David Yates
Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Michael Gambon, Imelda Staunton, Helena Bonham Carter, Gary Oldman, Ralph Fiennes

149 The Pelican Brief
Alan J. Pakula
Julia Roberts, Denzel Washington, John Lithgow, Sam Shepard

148 Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
Rawson Marshall Thurber
Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller, Christine Taylor, Rip Torn
"Lance Armstrong: ""Could I get a bottle of water. - - Hey, aren't you Peter La Fleur?""
Peter La Fleur: ""Lance Armstrong!""
Lance Armstrong: ""Yeah, that's me. But I'm a big fan of yours"".
Peter La Fleur: ""Really?""
Lance Armstrong: ""Yeah, I've been watching the dodgeball tournament on the Ocho. ESPN 8. I just can't get enough of it. But, good luck in the tournament. I'm really pulling for you against those jerks from Globo Gym. I think you better hurry up or you're gonna be late"".
Peter La Fleur: ""Uh, actually I decided to quit... Lance"".
Lance Armstrong: ""Quit? You know, once I was thinking about quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer, all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and I won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I'm sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying from that's keeping you from the finals?""
Peter La Fleur: ""Right now it feels a little bit like... shame"".
Lance Armstrong: ""Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life. But good luck to you Peter. I'm sure this decision won't haunt you forever"".

Cotton McKnight: ""I'm being told that Average Joe's does not have enough players and will be forfeiting the championship match"".
Pepper Brooks: ""It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for 'em"".

Cotton McKnight: ""Ladies and gentlemen, I have been to the Great Wall of China, I have seen the Pyramids of Egypt, I've even witnessed a grown man satisfy a camel. But never in all my years as a sportscaster have I witnessed something as improbable, as impossible, as what we've witnessed here today!""
147 Rudy
David Anspaugh
Sean Astin, Charles S. Dutton, Ned Beatty, Jon Favreau

146 Above the Law
Andrew Davis
Steven Seagal, Pam Grier, Sharon Stone

145 Rocky IV
Sylvester Stallone
Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Carl Weathers, Brigitte Nielsen
Rocky: "I see three of him out there".
Paulie: "Hit the one in the middle".
Duke: "Right! Hit the one in the middle".

Paulie: "I know sometimes I act stupid and I say stupid things, but you kept me around and other people would have said 'drop that bum'. You give me respect. You know it's kinda hard for me to say these kinda things, cuz it ain't my way, but if I could just unzip myself and step out and be someone else, I'd wanna be you. You're all heart, Rock".

[Drago has just entered the ring]
Paulie: "Uh, Rock, you remember what I said about wantin' to be you?"
Rocky: "Yeah".
Paulie: "Forget it".
[exits the ring]
Rocky: "Thanks, Paulie".

Duke: "He's worried! You cut him! You hurt him! You see? You see? He's not a machine, he's a man!"

Duke: "All your strength, all your power, all your love. Everything you've got. Right now!"

144 Porgy and Bess
Otto Preminger
Sidney Poitier, Dorothy Dandridge, Sammy Davis, Jr., Pearl Bailey, Diahann Carroll, Brock Peters

143 Best in Show
Christopher Guest
Parker Posey, Michael McKean, Catherine O'Hara, Eugene Levy, Michael Hitchcock, Jane Lynch, Jennifer Coolidge, Fred Willard
Hamilton Swan [to his dog before the dog show]: "Don't look at the fat ass losers or freaks, look at me!"

142 Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
George Lucas
Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman, Ian McDiarmid, Samuel L. Jackson, Jimmy Smits
Obi-Wan: [crashing towards the hangar] "Oh, I have a bad feeling about this".

Mace Windu: "The oppression of the Sith will never return! You, my lord, have lost!"
Supreme Chancellor: [speaking as Darth Sidious] "No... no... no! YOU WILL DIE!"

141 Batman Begins
Christopher Nolan
Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Liam Neeson, Katie Holmes, Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman

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