Disclaimer

If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.



Monday, May 8, 2017

Mother's Day is next Sunday

The I’m just sayin… Top 2,982 Movies of All-Time Countdown


1930 Gigi
Vincente Minnelli
Leslie Caron, Louis Jourdan, Maurice Chevalier, Hermione Gingold
1958

1929 Sabrina
Billy Wilder
Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn, William Holden
1954

1928 Bite the Bullet
Richard Brooks
Gene Hackman, James Coburn, Candice Bergen, Ben Johnson
1975

1927 River's Edge
Tim Hunter
Crispin Glover, Keanu Reeves, Ione Skye Leitch, Daniel Roebuck, Dennis Hopper
1986

1926 The Bone Collector
Phillip Noyce
Denzel Washington, Angelina Jolie
1999

1925 The Bells of St. Mary's
Leo McCarey
Bing Crosby, Ingrid Bergman
1945

1924 Natural Born Killers
Oliver Stone
Woody Harrelson, Juliette Lewis, Robert Downey, Jr., Tommy Lee Jones, Tom Sizemore, Rodney Dangerfield, Balthazar Getty, Russell Means
1994
Old Indian: "Once upon a time, a woman was picking up firewood. She came upon a poisonous snake frozen in the snow. She took the snake home and nursed it back to health. One day the snake bit her on the cheek. As she lay dying, she asked the snake, 'Why have you done this to me?' And the snake answered, 'Look, bitch, you knew I was a snake'".

1923 The First Deadly Sin
Brian G. Hutton
Frank Sinatra, Faye Dunaway, David Dukes
1980

1922 Hoodwinked!
Cory Edwards, Todd Edwards, Tony Leech
Anne Hathaway, Glenn Close, James Belushi
2005

1921 The Slender Thread
Sydney Pollack
Sidney Poitier, Anne Bancroft, Telly Savalas
1965

1920 Papillon
Franklin J. Schaffner
Steve McQueen, Dustin Hoffman
1973

1919 The Fortune Cookie
Billy Wilder
Walter Matthau, Jack Lemmon
1966

1918 The Old Man and the Sea
John Sturges
Spencer Tracy
1958

1917 The Happy Ending
Richard Brooks
Jean Simmons, Shirley Jones, John Forsythe, Bobby Darin, Teresa Wright, Nanette Fabray, Lloyd Bridges
1969

1916 The Stupids
John Landis
Tom Arnold, Jessica Lundy, Bug Hall, Mark Metcalf
1996

1915 Out of the Black
Karl Kozak
Tyler Christopher, Sally Kirkland, Jason Widener
2001

1914 The 40-Year-Old Virgin
Judd Apatow
Steve Carell, Catherine Keener, Paul Rudd
2005

1913 Torrid Zone
William Keighley
James Cagney, Ann Sheridan, Pat O'Brien
1940

1912 Edward Scissorhands
Tim Burton
Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder, Dianne Wiest, Alan Arkin, Anthony Michael Hall, Vincent Price, Kathy Baker
1990

1911 The Getaway
Sam Peckinpah
Steve McQueen, Ali MacGraw, Al Lettieri, Ben Johnson, Sally Struthers, Jack Dodson, Slim Pickens
1972

1910 The Band Wagon
Vincente Minnelli
Fred Astaire, Cyd Charisse, Oscar Levant, Jack Buchanan
1953

1909 Shaft in Africa
John Guillermin
Richard Roundtree
1973

1908 Same Time, Next Year
Robert Mulligan
Alan Alda, Ellen Burstyn
1978

1907 Under the Cherry Moon
Prince
Prince, Kristin Scott Thomas, Jerome Benton, Francesca Annis
1986

1906 Conflict
Curtis Bernhardt
Humphrey Bogart, Alexis Smith, Sydney Greenstreet
1945

1905 Susan and God
George Cukor
Joan Crawford, Fredric March
1940

1904 Invisible Woman, The
A. Edward Sutherland
Virginia Bruce, John Barrymore, John Howard
1940

1903 Out of Time
Carl Franklin
Denzel Washington, Eva Mendes
2003

1902 Assassination of a High School President
Brett Simon
Bruce Willis, Reece Thompson, Mischa Barton
2009

1901 The Fighting Seventh
Charles Marquis Warren
Lloyd Bridges, John Ireland
1951

1900 The Greatest Show on Earth
Cecil B. DeMille
Charlton Heston, Betty Hutton, James Stewart, Cornel Wilde, Dorothy Lamour, Henry Wilcoxon
1952

1899 Commandos Strike at Dawn
John Farrow
Paul Muni, Anna Lee, Lillian Gish
1942

1898 The Mummy Returns
Stephen Sommers
Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Oded Fehr, Dwayne Johnson
2001

1897 Cold Mountain
Anthony Minghella
Jude Law, Nicole Kidman, Renée Zellweger
2003

1896 High School Musical 3: Senior Year
Kenny Ortega
Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale, Corbin Bleu
2008

1895 Tango & Cash
Andrei Konchalovsky
Sylvester Stallone, Kurt Russell, Jack Palance, Teri Hatcher
1989
Captain Schroeder: "If you really wanted to stare death in the eye, you shoulda gotten married".

1894 Who's Harry Crumb?
Paul Flaherty
John Candy, Annie Potts, Shawnee Smith
1989

1893 The Longest Yard
Robert Aldrich
Burt Reynolds, Eddie Albert, Ed Lauter
1974

1892 Apollo 18
Gonzalo Lopez-Gallego
Lloyd Owen, Warren Christie
2011

1891 The Conversation
Francis Ford Coppola
Gene Hackman, John Cazale, Cindy Williams, Frederic Forrest, Harrison Ford, Robert Duvall, Teri Garr
1974

1890 The Glenn Miller Story
Anthony Mann
June Allyson, Jimmy Stewart
1953

1889 A History of Violence
David Cronenberg
Viggo Mortensen, Maria Bello, Ed Harris
2005

1888 The Lonely Guy
Arthur Hiller
Steve Martin, Judith Ivey, Charles Grodin
1984

1887 Pearl Harbor
Michael Bay
Ben Affleck, Josh Hartnett, Kate Beckinsale, Tom Sizemore, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Alec Baldwin, Jon Voight
2001

1886 Gran Torino
Clint Eastwood
Clint Eastwood
2008

1885 Little Shop of Horrors
Frank Oz
Rick Moranis, Ellen Greene, Steve Martin
1986

1884 Invisible Man Returns, The
Joe May
Cedric Hardwicke, Vincent Price, Nan Grey
1940

1883 Inception
Christopher Nolan
Leonardo DiCaprio, Ken Watanabe, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marion Cotillard, Ellen Page, Tom Hardy, Cillian Murphy, Tom Berenger, Michael Caine
2010

1882 Stripes
Ivan Reitman
Bill Murray, Harold Ramis, Warren Oates, John Candy, Sean Young, P.J. Soles, Judge Reinhold, John Diehl, John Larroquette
1981

1881 The Mask
Chuck Russell
Jim Carrey, Cameron Diaz, Peter Greene, Ben Stein, Richard Jeni, Peter Riegert, Amy Yasbeck
1994

1880 Too Young to Kiss
Robert Z. Leonard
June Allyson, Van Johnson, Gig Young
1951

1879 Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo
Mike Mitchell
Rob Schneider
1999
"Antoine Laconte: ""I'm a gigolo"".
Deuce Bigalow: ""Giga-who?""
Antoine Laconte: ""Women pay me to... give them pleasure"".
Deuce Bigalow: ""How did you get that job?""
Antoine Laconte: ""I just sort of fell into it"".
Deuce Bigalow: ""I'm gonna kill my guidance counselor!""
"
1878 Assault on Precinct 13
John Carpenter
Austin Stoker, Darwin Joston, Charles Cyphers
1976

1877 The Handmaid's Tale
Volker Schlondorff
Natasha Richardson, Faye Dunaway, Robert Duvall
1990

1876 The Principal
Christopher Cain
James Belushi, Louis Gossett, Jr., Rae Dawn Chong
1987

1875 Annie Hall
Woody Allen
Woody Allen, Diane Keaton
1977

1874 Batman and Robin
Spencer Gordon Bennet
Robert Lowery, Johnny Duncan, Jane Adams
1949

1873 The Border
Tony Richardson
Jack Nicholson, Valerie Perrine, Harvey Keitel
1982

1872 Roman Holiday
William Wyler
Audrey Hepburn, Gregory Peck
1953

1871 The Sandlot
David M. Evans
Karen Allen, Denis Leary, James Earl Jones
1993
Ham Porter: "You're killing me Smalls!"

1870 Domestic Disturbance
Harold Becker
John Travolta, Vince Vaughn, Teri Polo
2001

1869 To the Shores of Tripoli
H. Bruce Humberstone
Maureen O'Hara, John Payne
1942

1868 House Party 3
Eric Meza
Kid 'n Play, Bernie Mac
1994

1867 Straw Dogs
Sam Peckinpah
Dustin Hoffman, Susan George, David Warner
1971

1866 Mouse Trouble
Edwin L. Marin
John Wayne, Ella Raines, Ward Bond
1944

1865 The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter
Robert Ellis Miller
Alan Arkin, Chuck McCann, Sondra Locke, Cicely Tyson
1968

1864 Last Summer
Frank Perry
Barbara Hershey, Catherine Burns, Bruce Davison
1969

1863 Rolling Thunder
John Flynn
William Devane, Tommy Lee Jones, James Best
1977

1862 Lord of the Flies
Harry Hook
Balthazar Getty
1990

1861 Strike Up the Band
Busby Berkeley
Mickey Rooney, Judy Garland, Paul Whiteman and his Orchestra
1940

1860 Fair Game
Andrew Sipes
William Baldwin, Cindy Crawford
1995

1859 The Wrestler
James A. Westman
Ed Asner
1974

1858 The Madness of King George
Nicholas Hytner
Nigel Hawthorne, Helen Mirren, Rupert Everett, Rupert Graves, Ian Holm, Amanda Donohoe, Jim Carter
1994

1857 Rabbit Hood
Bugs Bunny
1949

1856 Glengarry Glen Ross
James Foley
Al Pacino, Jack Lemmon, Ed Harris, Kevin Spacey, Alec Baldwin, Alan Arkin
1992
Blake: "Put. That coffee. Down".
[pause]
Blake: "Coffee's for closers only".

Blake: "We're adding a little something to this month's sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize?"
[Holds up prize]
Blake: "Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired".

1855 Tomorrow Never Dies
Roger Spottiswoode
Pierce Brosnan
1997
James Bond: "Bond, James Bond"

1854 The Bride Came C.O.D.
William Keighley
James Cagney, Bette Davis
1941

1853 The Train Robbers
Burt Kennedy
John Wayne, Ann-Margret, Rod Taylor, Bobby Vinton
1973

1852 The Night of the Iguana
John Huston
Richard Burton, Ava Gardner, Deborah Kerr, Sue Lyon
1964

1851 The Change-Up
David Dobkin
Ryan Reynolds, Jason Bateman, Leslie Mann, Olivia Wilde and Alan Arkin
2011

1850 Pale Rider
Clint Eastwood
Clint Eastwood, Michael Moriarty, Carrie Snodgress
1985

1849 Summer of '42
Robert Mulligan
Jennifer O'Neill, Gary Grimes, Jerry Houser
1971

1848 High Diving Hare
Bugs Bunny
1949

1847 Nell
Michael Apted
Liam Neeson, Jodie Foster, Natasha Richardson
1994

1846 The Break-Up
Peyton Reed
Vince Vaughn, Jennifer Aniston
2006
Johnny O: "What you gotta do is think real hard and come up with someone who can't be traced to either one of us who can pay a visit to that guy she was with".
Gary: "No, I don't want anything to happen to him".
Johnny O: "Right".
[winks knowingly]
Johnny O: "I understand".

Gary: "Is that how you want to play it Brooke? Becasue I can play it like that. I can play it like Lionel Richie, 'All night long'".

1845 The Jungle Book 2
Steven Trenbirth
John Goodman, Haley Joel Osment, Mae Whitman
2003

1844 Second Chorus
H. C. Potter
Fred Astaire, Paulette Goddard, Artie Shaw
1940

1843 Hall Pass
Farrelly Brothers
Owen Wilson, Jason Sudeikis
2011

1842 Reversal of Fortune
Barbet Schroeder
Jeremy Irons, Glenn Close, Ron Silver
1990

1841 True Confessions
Ulu Grosbard
Robert De Niro, Robert Duvall, Charles Durning
1981

1840 Losin' It
Curtis Hanson
Tom Cruise, Jackie Earle Haley, Shelley Long
1983

1839 While You Were Sleeping
Jon Turteltaub
Sandra Bullock, Bill Pullman, Peter Gallagher, Peter Boyle
1995

1838 The Molly Maguires
Martin Ritt
Sean Connery, Richard Harris
1970

1837 Something for Everyone
Harold Prince
Angela Lansbury, Michael York, Anthony Higgins
1970

1836 The Russia House
Fred Schepisi
Sean Connery, Michelle Pfeiffer, Roy Scheider, James Fox
1990

1835 The Karate Kid, Part III
John G. Avildsen
Ralph Macchio, Pat Morita, Thomas Ian Griffith
1989
Daniel Larusso: "I know you don't believe in fighting, but tournament karate isn't exactly fighting".
Mr. Kesuke Miyagi: "Not exactly ping-pong, either".

1834 3 Days to Kill
McG
Kevin Costner, Hailee Steinfeld, Amber Heard
2014

1833 Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk
Ang Lee
Joe Alwyn, Garrett Hedlund, Kristen Stewart, Vin Diesel, Steve Martin, Chris Tucker
2016

1832 Bridget Jones's Baby
Sharon Maguire
Renée Zellweger, Colin Firth, Patrick Dempsey
2016

1831 Ender's Game
Gavin Hood
Asa Butterfield, Ben Kingsley, Harrison Ford, Hailee Steinfeld, Abigail Breslin, Viola Davis, Nonso Anozie, Moises Arias, Aramis Knight, Jimmy "Jax" Pinchak, Brendan Meyer, Stevie Ray Dillmore, Andrea Powell, Conor Carroll, Suraj Parthasarathy, Khylin Rhambo
2013

1830 John Dies at the End
Don Coscarelli
Paul Giamatti, Clancy Brown, Glynn Turman, Doug Jones, Daniel Roebuck, Jimmy Wong, Angus Scrimm
2013

1829 Life of Pi
Ang Lee
Suraj Sharma, Ayush Tandon, Irrfan Khan, Gérard Depardieu
2012

1828 Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb
Shawn Levy
Ben Stiller, Robin Williams, Dan Stevens, Owen Wilson, Ricky Gervais, Skyler Gisondo, Rebel Wilson, Ben Kingsley
2014

1827 Pitch Perfect 2
Elizabeth Banks
Anna Kendrick, Rebel Wilson, Hailee Steinfeld, Brittany Snow, Skylar Astin, Adam DeVine, Anna Camp, Alexis Knapp, Hana Mae Lee, Ester Dean, Chrissie Fit, Shelley Regner, Kelley Jakle, Ben Platt, Birgitte Hjort Sørensen, Flula Borg, Katey Sagal, John Michael Higgins, Elizabeth Banks
2015

1826 Sniper: Special Ops
Fred Olen Ray
Steven Seagal, Rob Van Dam, Tim Abell, Charlene Amoia, Daniel Booko
2016

1825 Taken 2
Olivier Megaton
Liam Neeson, Famke Janssen, Maggie Grace, Rade Sherbedgia, Luke Grimes
2012

1824 The Edge of Seventeen
Kelly Fremon
Hailee Steinfeld, Haley Lu Richardson, Blake Jenner, Woody Harrelson, Kyra Sedgwick
2016

1823 Vacation
John Francis Daley/Jonathan Goldstein
Ed Helms, Christina Applegate, Leslie Mann, Chris Hemsworth, Charlie Day, Beverly D'Angelo, Chevy Chase
2015

1822 K-9: P.I.
Richard J. Lewis
James Belushi
2002

1821 Ragtime
Milos Forman
Elizabeth McGovern, Howard Rollins, James Cagney, Pat O'Brien, Kenneth McMillan, Mary Steenburgen, James Olson, Mandy Patinkin, Brad Dourif, Moses Gunn, Robert Joy, Norman Mailer
1981

1820 Man of La Mancha
Arthur Hiller
Peter O'Toole, Sophia Loren, James Coco
1972

1819 Anastasia
Anatole Litvak
Ingrid Bergman, Yul Brynner, Helen Hayes
1956

1818 In a Lonely Place
Nicholas Ray
Humphrey Bogart, Gloria Grahame
1950

1817 Shrek Forever After
Mike Mitchell
Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Antonio Banderas, Walt Dohrn, Julie Andrews, John Cleese
2010
Donkey: "Why don't you just tell her what you told me? You know, about how you're her true love and you came from an alternate universe".
Shrek: "Oh, and while I'm at it, why don't I tell her that you're married to a fire-breathing dragon and you have little mutant donkey dragon babies?"
Donkey: "I do?"
Shrek: "You saw what happened. She's going to think I'm crazy".
Donkey: "I'm a daddy?"

1816 The Abyss
James Cameron
Ed Harris, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Michael Biehn
1989

1815 The Stunt Man
Richard Rush
Barbara Hershey, Peter O'Toole, Steve Railsback
1980

1814 The Insider
Michael Mann
Al Pacino, Russell Crowe, Christopher Plummer, Philip Baker Hall, Michael Gambon, Diane Venora, Lindsay Crouse, Bruce McGill
1999

1813 Goin' South
Jack Nicholson
Jack Nicholson, Mary Steenburgen, John Belushi
1978

1812 China Moon
John Bailey
Ed Harris, Madeleine Stowe, Benicio del Toro
1994

1811 L.A. Story
Mick Jackson
Steve Martin, Victoria Tennant, Marilu Henner, Sarah Jessica Parker
1991

1810 Jungle Fever
Spike Lee
Wesley Snipes, Annabella Sciorra, John Turturro
1991

1809 The Count of Monte Cristo
Kevin Reynolds
James Caviezel, Guy Pearce, Dagmara Dominczyk, Richard Harris
2002

1808 Soul Man
Steve Miner
C. Thomas Howell, Rae Dawn Chong, James Earl Jones
1986

1807 The Story of Robin Hood and His Merrie Men
Ken Annakin
Richard Todd, Peter Finch, James Robertson Justice
1952

1806 Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Mike Nichols
Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton, Sandy Dennis, George Segal
1966

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