If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.

Sunday, May 21, 2017

More good movies...

So, I’ve seen what I would consider confirmation that Coach Hatley has retired. I don’t have time right now to talk as much about Coach Hatley as I would like… but for now let me just say that it’s been 20 years since I played for him and not a day goes by that I don’t remember something he taught me.

The I’m just sayin… Top 2,982 Movies of All-Time Countdown

566 Puss in Boots
Chris Miller
Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Zach Galifianakis, Billy Bob Thornton, Amy Sedaris, Walt Dohrn (narrator), Zeus Mendoza, Constance Marie

565 Zodiac
David Fincher
Jake Gyllenhaal, Robert Downey, Jr., Mark Ruffalo, Anthony Edwards, Chloe Sevigny, John Carroll Lynch, Brian Cox

564 Kiss the Girls
Gary Fleder
Morgan Freeman, Ashley Judd

563 The Silence of the Lambs
Jonathan Demme
Anthony Hopkins, Jodie Foster, Scott Glenn, Ted Levine, Frankie Faison, Anthony Heald, Kasi Lemmons, Diane Baker, Brooke Smith

562 Death of a Salesman
László Benedek
Fredric March, Mildred Dunnock

561 Presumed Innocent
Alan J. Pakula
Harrison Ford, Greta Scacchi, Bonnie Bedelia, Brian Dennehy, Raúl Juliá

560 Red Tails
Anthony Hemingway
Cuba Gooding Jr., Nate Parker, David Oyelowo, Daniela Ruah, Terrence Howard

559 Airport
George Seaton
Burt Lancaster, Dean Martin, Jean Seberg, Jacqueline Bisset, Maureen Stapleton, Van Heflin, George Kennedy, Helen Hayes

558 Poseidon
Wolfgang Petersen
Josh Lucas, Kurt Russell, Richard Dreyfuss, Kevin Dillon, Freddy Rodriguez, Emmy Rossum

557 Fantastic Four
Tim Story
Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Michael Chiklis, Chris Evans, Julian McMahon, Kerry Washington

556 Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey
Duwayne Dunham
Don Ameche, Michael J. Fox, Sally Field, Benj Thall

555 Dinner for Schmucks
Jay Roach
Steve Carell, Paul Rudd, Jemaine Clement, Jeff Dunham, Zach Galifianakis, Bruce Greenwood, Ron Livingston, Rick Overton, Lucy Punch, Andrea Savage, David Walliams

554 The Secret Life of Pets
Chris Renaud/Yarrow Cheney
Louis C.K., Eric Stonestreet, Kevin Hart, Albert Brooks, Hannibal Buress, Bobby Moynihan, Lake Bell, Ellie Kemper, Steve Coogan, Jenny Slate, Dana Carvey

553 Gravity
Alfonso Cuaron
Sandra Bullock, George Clooney

552 Jack Frost
Troy Miller
Michael Keaton, Kelly Preston, Joseph Cross, Mark Addy, Henry Rollins

551 Fame
Alan Parker
Irene Cara, Debbie Allen, Maureen Teefy

550 High Anxiety
Mel Brooks
Mel Brooks, Madeline Kahn, Cloris Leachman, Harvey Korman

549 Beverly Hills Cop III
John Landis
Eddie Murphy, Judge Reinhold, Hector Elizondo
Axel: You got a fifty dollar bill?
Jon Flint: I got a wife and three kids. I haven't seen a fifty in twelve years.

548 The Right Stuff
Philip Kaufman
Ed Harris, Scott Glenn, Dennis Quaid, Fred Ward, Sam Shepard, Charles Frank Lance Henriksen, Barbara Hershey, Kim Stanley

547 Jerry Maguire
Cameron Crowe
Tom Cruise, Renée Zellweger, Cuba Gooding Jr., Bonnie Hunt, Regina King, Jay Mohr, Jonathan Lipnicki, Kelly Preston, Jerry O'Connell
Jerry Maguire: I love black people!

546 Heartbreak Ridge
Clint Eastwood
Clint Eastwood, Mario van Peebles, Marsha Mason

545 Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Zack Snyder
Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Jesse Eisenberg, Diane Lane, Laurence Fishburne, Jeremy Irons, Holly Hunter, Gal Gadot, Scoot McNairy, Tao Okamoto, Callan Mulvey

544 Jack Reacher
Christopher McQuarrie
Tom Cruise, Rosamund Pike, David Oyelowo, Richard Jenkins, Alexia Fast, Werner Herzog, Robert Duvall

543 Star Trek Into Darkness
J. J. Abrams
Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Benedict Cumberbatch, Simon Pegg, Karl Urban, John Cho, Alice Eve, Leonard Nimoy, Peter Weller, Zoe Saldana, Anton Yelchin, Bruce Greenwood

542 Armed and Dangerous
Mark L. Lester
John Candy, Eugene Levy, Meg Ryan
Maggie Cavanaugh: Just remember, when you pull the trigger, the bullets come out going very, very fast. So make sure to keep the weapon pointing away from you. Now that's about it. You are now armed... guards. God help us all.

541 Role Models
David Wain
Seann William Scott, Paul Rudd, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Bobb'e J. Thompson, Jane Lynch, Elizabeth Banks

540 Catch Me If You Can
Steven Spielberg
Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks, Christopher Walken, Amy Adams, Martin Sheen, Nathalie Baye, James Brolin

539 Knight and Day
James Mangold
Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, Maggie Grace, Peter Sarsgaard, Paul Dano, Viola Davis

538 No Strings Attached
Ivan Reitman
Natalie Portman, Ashton Kutcher, Cary Elwes, Kevin Kline, Greta Gerwig, Lake Bell, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges

537 Dragnet
Tom Mankiewicz
Dan Aykroyd, Tom Hanks, Dabney Coleman, Harry Morgan
Sylvia Wiss: [pulls her top off] Do these look like the breasts of a forty year old woman?
Friday: No ma'am. They're quite impressive... bordering on spectacular.

536 Houseguest
Randall Miller
Sinbad, Phil Hartman

535 Being John Malkovich
Spike Jonze
John Cusack, Cameron Diaz, Catherine Keener, John Malkovich

534 Fiddler on the Roof
Norman Jewison
Topol, Norma Crane

533 Star Trek Beyond
Justin Lin
Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldana, Karl Urban, John Cho, Anton Yelchin, Simon Pegg, Idris Elba, Sofia Boutella

532 The Monuments Men
George Clooney
George Clooney, Matt Damon, Bill Murray, John Goodman, Jean Dujardin, Bob Balaban, Hugh Bonneville, Cate Blanchett

531 Dead Presidents
Albert Hughes
Larenz Tate, Keith David, Chris Tucker

530 Buck Privates
Arthur Lubin
Abbott and Costello

529 The Three Musketeers
Stephen Herek
Charlie Sheen, Kiefer Sutherland, Oliver Platt, Chris O'Donnell, Tim Curry, Rebecca De Mornay

528 The Butler
Lee Daniels
Forest Whitaker, Oprah Winfrey, David Oyelowo, Liam Neeson, John Cusack, Alan Rickman, Jane Fonda, Robin Williams, James Marsden, Aml Ameen, Liev Schreiber

527 First Knight
Jerry Zucker
Sean Connery, Richard Gere, Julia Ormond

526 Cop Out
Kevin Smith
Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan, Adam Brody, Kevin Pollak, Guillermo Diaz, Seann William Scott

525 The Muppet Christmas Carol
Brian Henson
Michael Caine

524 Gunfight at the O.K. Corral
John Sturges
Kirk Douglas, Burt Lancaster, DeForest Kelley, Dennis Hopper

523 Wayne's World 2
Stephen Surjik
Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Tia Carrere, Christopher Walken

522 Along Came Polly
John Hamburg
Ben Stiller, Jennifer Aniston, Debra Messing

521 That Thing You Do!
Tom Hanks
Tom Everett Scott, Liv Tyler, Tom Hanks

520 The Longest Day
Ken Annakin
John Wayne, Robert Mitchum, Henry Fonda, Richard Burton, Sean Connery, Robert Ryan, George Segal

519 High Crimes
Carl Franklin
Ashley Judd, Morgan Freeman, James Caviezel

518 The Avengers
Jeremiah S. Chechik
Ralph Fiennes, Uma Thurman, Sean Connery, Jim Broadbent, Fiona Shaw, Eddie Izzard

517 Taxi Driver
Martin Scorsese
Robert De Niro, Jodie Foster, Cybill Shepherd

516 Blue Streak
Les Mayfield
Martin Lawrence, Luke Wilson, Peter Greene, Dave Chappelle

515 Hook
Steven Spielberg
Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins
Wendy Darling: The stories are true! I swear to you! I swear on everything I adore, and now he's come back to seek his revenge. The fight isn't over for Captain James Hook. He wants you back. He knows that you'll follow Jack and Maggie to the ends of the earth and beyond. And by heaven, you must find a way. Only you can save your children. Somehow, you must go back. You must make yourself remember.
Peter Banning: Remember what?
Wendy Darling: Peter, don't you know who you are?
[Wendy opens up the book and shows an illustration of Peter Pan as Peter looks in disbelief]
Wendy Darling: [whispers] Yes, boy. Yes.

514 Saturday Night Fever
John Badham
John Travolta, Karen Lynn Gorney, Donna Pescow

513 Monkey Business
Howard Hawks
Cary Grant, Marilyn Monroe

512 Sahara
Breck Eisner
Matthew McConaughey, Steve Zahn, Penelope Cruz

511 Captain Phillips
Paul Greengrass
Tom Hanks, Catherine Keener, Max Martini, Yul Vazquez, Michael Chernus, Chris Mulkey, Corey Johnson, David Warshofsky, John Magaro, Angus MacInnes

510 Sudden Impact
Clint Eastwood
Clint Eastwood, Sondra Locke, Pat Hingle
Crook: [during a diner robbery] What's you doing, you pighead sucka?
Harry Callahan: Every day for the past ten years, Loretta there's been giving me a large black coffee, today she gives me a large black coffee only it has sugar in it, a lotta sugar. I just came back to complain. Now, you boys put those guns down.
Crook: Say what?
Harry Callahan: Well, we're not just gonna let you walk out of here.
Crook: Who's we sucka?
Harry Callahan: [slowly drawing his .44 Magnum] Smith and Wesson... and me.

509 Limitless
Neil Burger
Bradley Cooper, Abbie Cornish, Robert De Niro, Andrew Howard, Anna Friel

508 Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian
Shawn Levy
Ben Stiller, Dick Van Dyke, Robin Williams, Amy Adams, Hank Azaria, Owen Wilson, Steve Coogan, Jonah Hill, Ricky Gervais

507 The Sons of Katie Elder
Henry Hathaway
John Wayne, Dean Martin, Earl Holliman, George Kennedy

506 Sergeants 3
John Sturges
Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr., Peter Lawford, Joey Bishop

505 Some Like It Hot
Billy Wilder
Marilyn Monroe, Jack Lemmon, Tony Curtis, George Raft, Pat O'Brien, Joe E. Brown

504 Real Genius
Martha Coolidge
Val Kilmer, Gabe Jarret, William Atherton

503 The Green Mile
Frank Darabont
Tom Hanks, David Morse, Bonnie Hunt, Michael Clarke Duncan

502 Lady and the Tramp
Clyde Geronimi, Wilfred Jackson
Peggy Lee, Barbara Luddy

501 Get Shorty
Barry Sonnenfeld
John Travolta, Gene Hackman, Rene Russo, Danny DeVito, James Gandolfini, Delroy Lindo, David Paymer, Dennis Farina

500 A Time to Kill
Joel Schumacher
Matthew McConaughey, Sandra Bullock, Samuel L. Jackson, Kevin Spacey, Kiefer Sutherland, Ashley Judd, Patrick McGoohan

499 Point Break
Kathryn Bigelow
Patrick Swayze, Keanu Reeves, Lori Petty, Gary Busey
Bodhi: What's the matter with you guys? This was never about the money, this was about us against the system. That system that kills the human spirit. We stand for something. We are here to show those guys that are inching their way on the freeways in their metal coffins that the human sprit is still alive. Don't worry about this guy, okay? I know exactly what to do with him.

498 Revenge of the Nerds
Jeff Kanew
Anthony Edwards, Robert Carradine, Timothy Busfield
Gibert: I just wanted to say that I'm a nerd, and I'm here tonight to stand up for the rights of other nerds. I mean uh, all our lives we've been laughed at and made to feel inferior. And tonight, those bastards, they trashed our house. Why? Cause we're smart? Cause we look different? Well, we're not. I'm a nerd, and uh, I'm pretty proud of it.
Lewis: Hi, Gilbert. I'm a nerd too. I just found that out tonight. We have news for the beautiful people. There's a lot more of us than there are of you. I know there's alumni here tonight. When you went to Adams you might've been called a spazz, or a dork, or a geek. Any of you that have ever felt stepped on, left out, picked on, put down, whether you think you're a nerd or not, why don't you just come down here and join us. Okay? Come on.

497 Tap
Nick Castle
Gregory Hines, Suzzanne Douglas, Sammy Davis, Jr.

496 The Reluctant Astronaut
Edw. Montagne Jr.
Don Knotts, Leslie Nielsen

495 Get Smart
Peter Segal
Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, Dwayne Johnson, Alan Arkin
Maxwell Smart: I think it's only fair to warn you, this facility is surrounded by a highly trained team of 130 Black Op Snipers.
Siegfried: I don't believe you.
Maxwell Smart: Would you believe two dozen Delta Force Commandos?
Siegfried: No.
Maxwell Smart: How about Chuck Norris with a BB gun?

494 Charlotte's Web
Charles A. Nichols
Voices of Debbie Reynolds, Paul Lynde

493 The Dark Knight Rises
Christophen Nolen
Tom Hardy, Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Anne Hathaway, Gary Oldman, Marion Cotillard, Ben Mendelsohn, Liam Neeson, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Cillian Murphy, Morgan Freeman

492 Dick Tracy
Warren Beatty
Warren Beatty, Al Pacino, Madonna, Glenne Headly, Mandy Patinkin, Dustin Hoffman, Dick Van Dyke

491 Strangers on a Train
Alfred Hitchcock
Farley Granger, Ruth Roman, Robert Walker

490 The Muppets Take Manhattan
Frank Oz
Jim Henson, Frank Oz, Dave Goelz

489 Goodfellas
Martin Scorsese
Robert De Niro, Ray Liotta, Joe Pesci, Lorraine Bracco, Paul Sorvino
Tommy DeVito: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little f--ked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to f--kin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

488 Legally Blonde
Robert Luketic
Reese Witherspoon, Luke Wilson, Selma Blair, Matthew Davis

487 Be Cool
F. Gary Gray
John Travolta, Uma Thurman, Cedric the Entertainer, André Benjamin, Steven Tyler, Vince Vaughn

486 The Lion King
Rob Minkoff
(voices) Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Matthew Broderick, Jeremy Irons, James Earl Jones, Whoopi Goldberg, Moira Kelly, Nathan Lane

485 The Natural
Barry Levinson
Robert Redford, Robert Duvall, Glenn Close, Kim Basinger, Wilford Brimley, Richard Farnsworth, Barbara Hershey, Darren McGavin

484 Sahara
Zoltan Korda
Humphrey Bogart

483 Annie
John Huston
Albert Finney, Carol Burnett, Tim Curry, Bernadette Peters, Ann Reinking, Edward Herrmann, Aileen Quinn
Annie: The sun'll come out Tomorrow, so you gotta hang on till tomorrow. Come what may. Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I love ya, Tomorrow. You're only a day away.

482 Blades of Glory
Will Speck, Josh Gordon
Will Ferrell, Jon Heder
Jimmy: I see you got fat.
Chazz: I see you still look like a fifteen year old girl, but not hot.

481 Neighbors
Nicholas Stoller
Seth Rogen, Zac Efron, Rose Byrne, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Dave Franco

480 Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
Glenn Ficarra/John Requa
Tina Fey, Margot Robbie, Martin Freeman, Billy Bob Thornton, Alfred Molina, Christopher Abbott, Sheila Vand

479 Coming to America
John Landis
Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall, James Earl Jones
"Prince Akeem: Good morning, my neighbors!
Voice: Hey, f--k you!
Prince Akeem: [genuinely happy] Yes, yes! F--k you too!
478 The Fugitive
Andrew Davis
Harrison Ford, Tommy Lee Jones, Jeroen Krabbe, Joe Pantoliano, Sela Ward, Jane Lynch, Julianne Moore
Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: Alright, listen up, people. Our fugitive has been on the run for ninety minutes. Average foot speed over uneven ground barring injuries is 4 miles-per-hour. That gives us a radius of six miles. What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area. Checkpoints go up at fifteen miles. Your fugitive's name is Dr. Richard Kimble. Go get him.

Haha... oops! I used this quote earlier for the wrong Fugitive movie. Oh well...

477 Fried Green Tomatoes
Jon Avnet
Kathy Bates, Mary Stuart Masterson, Mary-Louise Parker, Jessica Tandy

476 Monsters, Inc.
Peter Docter
John Goodman, Billy Crystal, Steve Buscemi, James Coburn

475 Full Metal Jacket
Stanley Kubrick
Matthew Modine, R. Lee Ermey, Vincent D'Onofrio, Adam Baldwin, Dorian Harewood, Arliss Howard

474 The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Stephen Norrington
Sean Connery, Naseeruddin Shah

473 Fatal Attraction
Adrian Lyne
Michael Douglas, Glenn Close, Anne Archer

472 Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Jay Roach
Mike Myers, Heather Graham, Robert Wagner, Seth Green, Michael York, Verne Troyer, Will Ferrell
Scott: [both are the Jerry Springer show] How could you do this to me? On national television!
Dr. Evil: Well throw me a freakin' bone here, Scott.
Scott: Why did you run out on me?
Dr. Evil: Because you're not quite evil enough.
[audience boos]
Dr. Evil: Well it's true! It's true! You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie, not evil enough.

471 Lawrence of Arabia
David Lean
Peter O'Toole, Omar Sharif, Anthony Quinn, Alec Guinness, Jose Ferrer, Arthur Kennedy, Anthony Quayle, Claude Rains

470 Fever Pitch
Peter and Bobby Farrelly
Drew Barrymore, Jimmy Fallon

469 Born on the Fourth of July
Oliver Stone
Tom Cruise, Kyra Sedgwick, Willem Dafoe
Ron Kovic: People say that if you don't love America, then get the hell out. Well, I love America.

468 The Client
Joel Schumacher
Susan Sarandon, Tommy Lee Jones, Brad Renfro, Mary-Louise Parker, Anthony LaPaglia, J.T. Walsh

467 Clerks
Kevin Smith
Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson

466 Jewel of the Nile, The
Lewis Teague
Kathleen Turner, Michael Douglas, Danny DeVito

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