If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.

Thursday, May 18, 2017

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CASEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’d like to take a second today to wish my cousin-in-law Casey a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!! I hope she has a GREAT DAY!!!!

The I’m just sayin… Top 2,982 Movies of All-Time Countdown

865 Muppet Treasure Island
Brian Henson
Tim Curry, Jennifer Saunders, Kevin Bishop

864 A Madea Christmas
Tyler Perry
Tyler Perry

863 Death Becomes Her
Robert Zemeckis
Meryl Streep, Bruce Willis, Goldie Hawn

862 Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol
Brad Bird
Tom Cruise, Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg, Paula Patton, Michael Nyqvist, Vladimir Mashkov, Samuli Edelmann, Anil Kapoor, Josh Holloway, Léa Seydoux, Tom Wilkinson

861 Pineapple Express
David Gordon Green
Seth Rogen, James Franco

860 Terminator 2: Judgment Day
James Cameron
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Robert Patrick, Edward Furlong
The Terminator: Hasta la vista, baby.

859 Little Giant
William A. Seiter
Abbott and Costello

858 Jesus Christ Superstar
Norman Jewison
Ted Neeley, Carl Anderson

857 Cotton Comes to Harlem
Ossie Davis
Redd Foxx, Godfrey Cambridge, Raymond St. Jacques

856 The Matrix Reloaded
Andy Wachowski, Larry Wachowski
Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving

855 Runaway Bride
Garry Marshall
Richard Gere, Julia Roberts, Joan Cusack

854 Menace II Society
Albert Hughes, Allen Hughes
Larenz Tate, Jada Pinkett Smith, Samuel L. Jackson

853 Superman IV: The Quest for Peace
Sidney J. Furie
Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder, Mariel Hemingway, Jon Cryer, Jackie Cooper, Sam Wanamaker

852 Battle of the Bulge
Ken Annakin
Henry Fonda, Dana Andrews, Robert Shaw, Robert Ryan, Ty Hardin, Telly Savalas

851 American History X
Tony Kaye
Edward Norton, Edward Furlong, Beverly D'Angelo, Elliott Gould, Stacy Keach, Fairuza Balk, Jennifer Lien, Avery Brooks

850 Cape Fear
Martin Scorsese
Robert De Niro, Nick Nolte, Jessica Lange, Juliette Lewis, Robert Mitchum, Gregory Peck, Joe Don Baker, Fred Dalton Thompson, Illeana Douglas

849 Lethal Weapon 4
Richard Donner
Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Rene Russo, Chris Rock, Jet Li
Roger Murtaugh: Since I met you, I done some hairy shit, but this is not gonna happen. I'm gonna be a grandfather; you and Lorna are gonna have a baby. He ain't worth dying for, Riggs. He ain't worth it.
Martin Riggs: Yeah, yeah, you're right. Hey, if he gets away, we can track him down later on with a - you know, with a Howitzer or somethin'. Your son-in-law's over there bleedin', we should get him and get the hell out of here. Anyway, it's rainin'.
Roger Murtaugh: Yeah, it's rainin'.
Martin Riggs: I'm too old for this shit, too.
Roger Murtaugh: Guy's too damned good.
Martin Riggs: Well, yeah, he's damn good. I mean, how did he do that thing with the gun? How the hell did he do that? I mean, he took my gun apart with one deft move. How did he do that? Huh? How?
Roger Murtaugh: Yeah... okay. Let's go ask him.

848 As Good as It Gets
James L. Brooks
Jack Nicholson, Helen Hunt, Greg Kinnear, Cuba Gooding, Jr.
Receptionist: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.

847 Minions
Pierre Coffin/Kyle Balda
Pierre Coffin, Sandra Bullock, Jon Hamm, Michael Keaton, Allison Janney, Steve Coogan, Geoffrey Rush

846 Executive Decision
Stuart Baird
Kurt Russell, Halle Berry, John Leguizamo, Oliver Platt, Joe Morton, David Suchet, Steven Seagal

845 The Day After Tomorrow
Roland Emmerich
Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal, Emmy Rossum, Ian Holm, Sela Ward

844 The Expendables
Sylvester Stallone
Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, David Zayas, Gisele Itié, Charisma Carpenter, Gary Daniels, Terry Crews, Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger

843 Broken Arrow
John Woo
John Travolta, Christian Slater, Samantha Mathis
Riley Hale: You know, these exercises are fantastic. When the day comes that we have to go to war against Utah, we're really gonna kick ass, y'know?

842 Fallen
Gregory Hoblit
Denzel Washington, John Goodman, Embeth Davidtz, James Gandolfini

841 5 Card Stud
Henry Hathaway
Dean Martin, Robert Mitchum, Roddy McDowall, Yaphet Kotto, Inger Stevens

840 World Trade Center
Oliver Stone
Nicolas Cage, Michael Peña, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Maria Bello

839 Flashdance
Adrian Lyne
Jennifer Beals, Michael Nouri, Belinda Bauer

838 Meet the Fockers
Jay Roach
Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro, Teri Polo, Blythe Danner, Dustin Hoffman, Barbra Streisand

837 Bad Moms
Jon Lucas/Scott Moore
Mila Kunis, Christina Applegate, Kristen Bell, Jada Pinkett Smith, Kathryn Hahn, Lilly Singh, Oona Laurence, Kesha

836 4 for Texas
Robert Aldrich
Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Ursula Andress, Anita Ekberg

835 Casino
Martin Scorsese
Robert De Niro, Sharon Stone, Joe Pesci, James Woods, Kevin Pollak, Alan King, Don Rickles

834 Entrapment
Jon Amiel
Sean Connery, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Ving Rhames

833 Ali
Michael Mann
Will Smith, Jamie Foxx, Jon Voight

832 Funny Lady
Herbert Ross
Barbra Streisand, James Caan

831 Ray
Taylor Hackford
Jamie Foxx

830 G.I. Joe: The Movie
Don Jurwich
voices of Don Johnson, Burgess Meredith

829 Death Wish 3
Michael Winner
Charles Bronson, Martin Balsam

828 Austin Powers in Goldmember
Jay Roach
Mike Myers, Beyoncé Knowles, Michael Caine
Nigel Powers: All right Goldmember. Don't play the laughing boy. There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch.

Dr. Evil: Are those sharks with laser beams attached to their heads?
Scott Evil: [nods]
Dr. Evil: Cool! You mean that I actually have frickin' sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their frickin' heads?

827 We're Not Married!
Edmund Goulding
Ginger Rogers, Marilyn Monroe

826 Blackhat
Michael Mann
Chris Hemsworth, Viola Davis, John Ortiz, Yorick van Wageningen, Tang Wei, Leehom Wang

825 Rawhide
Henry Hathaway
Tyrone Power, Susan Hayward

824 Are We Done Yet?
Steve Carr
Ice Cube, Nia Long, John C. McGinley, Aleisha Allen

823 First Kid
David Mickey Evans
Sinbad, Brock Pierce

822 I'm Gonna Git You Sucka
Keenen Ivory Wayans
Jim Brown, Isaac Hayes, Bernie Casey

821 The Color of Money
Martin Scorsese
Paul Newman, Tom Cruise, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, John Turturro, Helen Shaver, Forest Whitaker

820 Frost/Nixon
Ron Howard
Frank Langella, Michael Sheen, Kevin Bacon, Sam Rockwell, Toby Jones, Oliver Platt, Rebecca Hall

819 Notting Hill
Roger Michell
Julia Roberts, Hugh Grant, Hugh Bonneville, Emma Chambers, James Dreyfus, Rhys Ifans, Tim McInnerny, Gina McKee

818 Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
Richard Brooks
Elizabeth Taylor, Paul Newman, Burl Ives, Judith Anderson, Madeleine Sherwood, Jack Carson

817 The Postman
Kevin Costner
Kevin Costner, Olivia Williams, Larenz Tate, Will Patton

816 Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood
Paris Barclay
Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Bernie Mac, Keenen Ivory Wayans, Omar Epps

815 High Time
Blake Edwards
Bing Crosby, Fabian, Tuesday Weld, Nicole Maurey

814 The Revenant
Alejandro G. Iñárritu
Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hardy, Domhnall Gleeson, Will Poulter

813 Keep 'Em Flying
Arthur Lubin
Abbott and Costello, Martha Raye

812 J. Edgar
Clint Eastwood
Leonardo DiCaprio, Naomi Watts, Armie Hammer, Josh Lucas and Judi Dench, Damon Herriman, Ed Westwick, Jeffrey Donovan, Ken Howard, Stephen Root, Denis O'Hare, Geoff Pierson, Lea Thompson, Gunner Wright

811 Uptown Saturday Night
Sidney Poitier
Sidney Poitier, Bill Cosby, Richard Pryor

810 Broadcast News
James L. Brooks
William Hurt, Albert Brooks, Holly Hunter, Joan Cusack, Robert Prosky, Lois Chiles, Jack Nicholson
[after Paul fires one of his workers]
Paul Moore: Now, if there's anything I can do for you…
Employee: Well, I certainly hope you'll die soon.

809 I Am Legend
Francis Lawrence
Will Smith

808 One More Time
Jerry Lewis
Sammy Davis Jr., Peter Lawford

807 Who's Been Sleeping in My Bed?
Daniel Mann
Dean Martin, Elizabeth Montgomery, Carol Burnett

806 Grapes of Wrath, The
John Ford
Henry Fonda, Jane Darwell, John Carradine

805 The Stooge
Norman Taurog
Dean Martin, Jerry Lewis, Polly Bergen

804 The Internship
Shawn Levy
Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson, Dylan O'Brien, Rose Byrne, Jessica Szohr, Max Minghella, Aasif Mandvi, John Goodman, Will Ferrell, JoAnna Garcia, Eric Andre, Josh Brener, Tiya Sircar, Tobit Raphael, Josh Gad

803 Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco
David R. Ellis
voices of Sally Field, Michael J. Fox

802 Braddock: Missing in Action III
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris

801 Firefox
Clint Eastwood
Clint Eastwood, Nigel Hawthorne

800 Jumanji
Joe Johnston
Robin Williams, Bonnie Hunt, Kirsten Dunst, Bradley Pierce, Jonathan Hyde, David Alan Grier, Bebe Neuwirth

799 Madagascar
Eric Darnell, Tom McGrath
Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, David Schwimmer, Jada Pinkett Smith

798 Gettysburg
Ronald F. Maxwell
Tom Berenger, Jeff Daniels, Martin Sheen, Stephen Lang

797 Aladdin
Ron Clements
voices of Robin Williams, Gilbert Gottfried

796 London Has Fallen
Babak Najafi
Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman, Angela Bassett, Alon Aboutboul, Charlotte Riley, Jackie Earle Haley, Melissa Leo, Robert Forster, Sean O'Bryan, Radha Mitchell, Waleed Zuaiter

795 The Man in the Iron Mask
Randall Wallace
Leonardo DiCaprio, John Malkovich, Gabriel Byrne, Gerard Depardieu, Jeremy Irons

794 Father of the Bride Part II
Charles Shyer
Steve Martin, Diane Keaton, Martin Short, Kimberly Williams-Paisley, George Newbern, Kieran Culkin

793 We're the Millers
Rawson Thurber
Jennifer Aniston, Jason Sudeikis, Emma Roberts, Ed Helms, Thomas Lennon, Nick Offerman, Kathryn Hahn, Will Poulter

792 Gray Lady Down
David Greene
Charlton Heston, Ned Beatty, Ronny Cox

791 Fences
Denzel Washington
Denzel Washington, Viola Davis, Mykelti Williamson

790 Firewall
Richard Loncraine
Harrison Ford, Paul Bettany, Virginia Madsen, Mary Lynn Rajskub

789 A Good Day to Die Hard
John Moore
Bruce Willis, Jai Courtney, Sebastian Koch, Yuliya Snigir, Radivoje Bukvić, Cole Hauser, Amaury Nolasco, Mary Elizabeth Winstead

788 The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Andrew Dominik
Brad Pitt, Casey Affleck, Sam Rockwell, Sam Shepard, Mary-Louise Parker, Zooey Deschanel, Paul Schneider, Jeremy Renner

787 The Accountant
Gavin O'Connor
Ben Affleck, Anna Kendrick, J. K. Simmons, John Lithgow, Jeffrey Tambor, Cynthia Addai-Robinson, Jon Bernthal

786 One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Milos Forman
Jack Nicholson, Louise Fletcher, Brad Dourif

785 Fargo
Joel Coen, Ethan Coen
Frances McDormand, William H. Macy, Steve Buscemi, Peter Stormare, Harve Presnell

784 It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
Stanley Kramer
Spencer Tracy, Milton Berle, Mickey Rooney, Ethel Merman, Sid Caesar, Phil Silvers, Dick Shawn, Terry-Thomas, Edie Adams, Dorothy Provine, Peter Falk

783 Rooster Cogburn
Stuart Millar
John Wayne, Katharine Hepburn

782 22 Jump Street
Phil Lord/Chris Miller
Channing Tatum, Jonah Hill, Ice Cube

781 White House Down
Roland Emmerich
Channing Tatum, Jamie Foxx, Maggie Gyllenhaal, James Woods, Richard Jenkins, Joey King, Jason Clarke

780 Concussion
Peter Landesman
Will Smith, Alec Baldwin, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Arliss Howard, Albert Brooks, Paul Reiser, Luke Wilson, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, David Morse

779 Escape from Alcatraz
Don Siegel
Clint Eastwood, Patrick McGoohan, Fred Ward

778 Fast & Furious
Justin Lin
Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster

777 Julius Caesar
Joseph L. Mankiewicz
Marlon Brando, James Mason, John Gielgud, Greer Garson, Deborah Kerr, Louis Calhern, Edmond O'Brien

776 Arlington Road
Mark Pellington
Jeff Bridges, Tim Robbins, Joan Cusack, Hope Davis

775 Clerks II
Kevin Smith
Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Rosario Dawson, Trevor Fehrman

774 Stagecoach
John Ford
John Wayne, Claire Trevor, Berton Churchill

773 Next of Kin
John Irvin
Patrick Swayze, Liam Neeson, Adam Baldwin, Helen Hunt, Bill Paxton

772 Despicable Me 2
Chris Renaud/Pierre Coffin
Steve Carell, Kristen Wiig, Miranda Cosgrove, Dana Gaier, Elsie Fisher, Russell Brand, Pierre Coffin, Benjamin Bratt, Steve Coogan, Ken Jeong, Kristen Schaal, Moises Arias, Javier Bardem

771 God's Not Dead
Harold Cronk
Willie Robertson, David A. R. White, Shane Harper, Kevin Sorbo, Korie Robertson, Dean Cain

770 Silver Linings Playbook
David O. Russell
Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, Brea Bee, Robert De Niro, Jacki Weaver, John Ortiz, Julia Stiles, Anupam Kher, Chris Tucker

769 The Bourne Legacy
Tony Gilroy
Jeremy Renner, Rachel Weisz, Edward Norton, Oscar Isaac, Joan Allen, Albert Finney, Stacy Keach, Scott Glenn

768 Home Alone
Chris Columbus
Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Catherine O'Hara
Kevin McCallister: This is my house, I have to defend it.

767 War of the Worlds
Steven Spielberg
Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning, Justin Chatwin

766 Ride 'Em Cowboy
Arthur Lubin
Abbott and Costello

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