If you do not know me (I mean, really know me) then there is something you need to understand before you read this blog: I value the truth above everything else... except a good laugh. A good laugh will almost always beat the truth as far as I’m concerned. Everything you read on this blog will be true, somewhat true, or something I made up in an effort to get a laugh. Sometimes I will go on a rant that I don’t really mean (or only kind of mean). Sometimes I will mean what I write only to completely change my mind a year, month, or day later. Such is life. By reading this blog you agree not to get offended by anything I write (or, at the very least, you agree not to tell me or anyone else that you are offended). It is worth noting that my employer does not endorse my blog (or even read it, to tell you the truth). The Wife also does not endorse my blog (though she will read it from time to time). I am not paid to write this... it’s just my way of giving back to the community. I have, and will, touch on a wide range of subjects and will give my opinion on these subjects. Again, most of what I say is for laughs but every now and then I will say what I really think and feel (see my views on Westboro Baptist Cult). How will you know when I’m serious and when I’m trying to get a laugh? You’ll know. And if you don’t know, well... maybe this isn’t the best thing for you to be reading. So, sit back, read and enjoy. Leave comments if you want and don’t be afraid to publicly follow me.

Sunday, May 14, 2017


I’d like to wish my Mom (and all of you other moms out there) a VERY HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!!!!!!! I, of course, love Mom very much and hope she has a GREAT day!

I’d also like to wish my Labor Day Uncle DG a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! I hope he has a wonderful day!!!!

The I’m just sayin… Top 2,982 Movies of All-Time Countdown

1265 Abbott and Costello in the Foreign Legion
Charles Lamont
Abbott and Costello, Patricia Medina

1264 The Waterboy
Frank Coraci
Adam Sandler, Henry Winkler, Kathy Bates, Fairuza Balk
Bobby Boucher: Now that's what I call high quality H2O.

[after Bobby demonstrates his tackling ability]
Coach Klein: Bobby, can you do that for me every game?
Bobby Boucher: Coach, not only will I do it for you, I... I... I... yes, yes, I'll do it for you.

Bobby Boucher: Mama, something bad happened today.
Mama Boucher: [Pulls up a knife] Did somebody hurt you my boy?

1263 Click
Frank Coraci
Adam Sandler, Kate Beckinsale, Christopher Walken, David Hasselhoff
Ben at 7-Years-Old: Hey, look at Sundance wrestle his duck.
[Sundance is humping it]
Michael Newman: Oh, no, that's not wrestling. That's... Something you shouldn't know about for another 10 to 30 years. Ten for you.
[Points at Ben]
Michael Newman: Thirty for you.
[Points at Samantha]

1262 Working Girl
Mike Nichols
Melanie Griffith, Harrison Ford, Sigourney Weaver, Joan Cusack, Alec Baldwin, Kevin Spacey, Philip Bosco, Nora Dunn

1261 X2: X-Men United
Bryan Singer
Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Famke Janssen, Halle Berry, James Marsden, Anna Paquin, Rebecca Romijn, Shawn Ashmore

1260 Wild in the Streets
Barry Shear
Christopher Jones, Shelley Winters, Richard Pryor, Hal Holbrook

1259 White Lightning
Joseph Sargent
Burt Reynolds, Ned Beatty
Big Bear: [holding a knife at Gator's throat] You can eat my grub... I'll let you haul my whiskey... but don't you ever do me no *wrong*!
Gator McKlusky: How'd you like that knife shoved up yer ass?
Big Bear: [long pause] I wouldn't like that at all.

1258 Walk the Line
James Mangold
Joaquin Phoenix, Reese Witherspoon

1257 Wake Island
John Farrow
Brian Donlevy, Robert Preston

1256 Very Bad Things
Peter Berg
Christian Slater, Cameron Diaz, Jon Favreau, Daniel Stern, Jeremy Piven, Jeanne Tripplehorn

1255 Vegas Vacation
Stephen Kessler
Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo, Randy Quaid
Clark Griswold: Eddie, has anyone ever told you you're bad luck?
Cousin Eddie: Those were my mother's dying words. But I guess if your body's covered in third degree burns, and your foot's caught in a bear trap, you tend to start talkin' crazy.

1254 Urban Cowboy
James Bridges
John Travolta, Debra Winger, Scott Glenn

1253 Urban Legend
Jamie Blanks
Jared Leto, Alicia Witt, Rebecca Gayheart, Joshua Jackson, Loretta Devine, Tara Reid, Robert Englund

1252 Up in the Air
Jason Reitman
George Clooney, Vera Farmiga, Anna Kendrick, Danny McBride, Jason Bateman

1251 Up in Smoke
Lou Adler
Cheech Marin, Tommy Chong, Tom Skerritt

1250 Under Siege
Andrew Davis
Steven Seagal, Tommy Lee Jones, Gary Busey, Erika Eleniak

1249 Twister
Jan de Bont
Helen Hunt, Bill Paxton, Jami Gertz, Cary Elwes

1248 Training Day
Antoine Fuqua
Denzel Washington, Ethan Hawke

1247 The Wrecking Crew
Phil Karlson
Dean Martin, Elke Sommer, Nancy Kwan, Sharon Tate

1246 The World Is Not Enough
Michael Apted
Pierce Brosnan, Sophie Marceau, Robert Carlyle, Denise Richards
James Bond: "Bond, James Bond"

1245 The Weather Man
Gore Verbinski
Nicolas Cage, Michael Caine

1244 The War of the Worlds
Byron Haskin
Gene Barry, Ann Robinson

1243 The Titan: Story of Michelangelo
Robert J. Flaherty
Fredric March

1242 The Thomas Crown Affair
Norman Jewison
Steve McQueen, Faye Dunaway, Paul Burke, Jack Weston

1241 Quigley Down Under
Simon Wincer
Tom Selleck, Laura San Giacomo, Alan Rickman

1240 The Sum of All Fears
Phil Alden Robinson
Ben Affleck, Morgan Freeman, James Cromwell

1239 The Score
Frank Oz
Robert De Niro, Edward Norton, Marlon Brando, Angela Bassett

1238 The Rookie
Clint Eastwood
Clint Eastwood, Charlie Sheen

1237 The Postman Always Rings Twice
Bob Rafelson
Jack Nicholson, Jessica Lange, John Colicos, Michael Lerner, John P. Ryan, Anjelica Huston

1236 The Piano
Jane Campion
Holly Hunter, Harvey Keitel, Sam Neill, Anna Paquin

1235 The Pink Panther
Blake Edwards
David Niven, Peter Sellers, Robert Wagner, Capucine

1234 The Music Man
Morton DaCosta
Robert Preston, Shirley Jones, Buddy Hackett, Ron Howard, Hermione Gingold, Paul Ford, Pert Kelton,

1233 The Jackie Robinson Story
Alfred E. Green
Jackie Robinson, Ruby Dee

1232 The Hurt Locker
Kathryn Bigelow
Jeremy Renner, Anthony Mackie, Brian Geraghty, Evangeline Lilly, Ralph Fiennes, David Morse, Guy Pearce

1231 The Good Girl
Miguel Arteta
Jennifer Aniston, Jake Gyllenhaal, John C. Reilly

1230 The Hangover: Part II
Todd Phillips
Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Ken Jeong, Jeffrey Tambor, with Justin Bartha and Paul Giamatti
Alan: I'm a stay at home son.

1229 The Fugitive
John Ford
Henry Fonda, Dolores del Río, Pedro Armendáriz

1228 The Distinguished Gentleman
Jonathan Lynn
Eddie Murphy, Lane Smith

1227 Diamonds Are Forever
Guy Hamilton
Sean Connery
James Bond: "Bond, James Bond"

1226 Walk Like a Man
Melvin Frank
Howie Mandel, Christopher Lloyd, Cloris Leachman, Colleen Camp, Amy Steel, James Slice

1225 The Dirty Dozen
Robert Aldrich
Lee Marvin, Charles Bronson, Telly Savalas, John Cassavetes, Jim Brown, Ernest Borgnine, Robert Ryan, George Kennedy, Donald Sutherland, Clint Walker, Trini Lopez

1224 That's Entertainment!
Jack Haley, Jr.
Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, Frank Sinatra, Elizabeth Taylor, Mickey Rooney, Liza Minnelli, James Stewart, Bing Crosby

1223 That's Life!
Blake Edwards
Jack Lemmon, Julie Andrews, Sally Kellerman

1222 Ice Age: The Meltdown
Carlos Saldanha
Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, Denis Leary, Queen Latifah

1221 Good Luck Chuck
Mark Helfrich
Dane Cook, Jessica Alba

1220 Road Hard
Adam Carolla
David Koechner, David Alan Grier, Jay Mohr, Larry Miller, Diane Farr

1219 Sisters
Jason Moore
Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, John Cena, Maya Rudolph

1218 The Jungle Book
Jon Favreau
Neel Sethi, Bill Murray, Ben Kingsley, Idris Elba, Lupita Nyong'o, Scarlett Johansson, Giancarlo Esposito, Christopher Walken

1217 Employee of the Month
Gregory Coolidge
Dane Cook, Jessica Simpson, Dax Shepard

1216 CB4
Tamra Davis
Chris Rock, Phil Hartman, Chris Elliot

1215 Cinderella Man
Ron Howard
Russell Crowe, Renée Zellweger, Paul Giamatti

1214 Action in the North Atlantic
Lloyd Bacon, Raoul Walsh
Humphrey Bogart, Raymond Massey, Alan Hale, Sr.

1213 Good Will Hunting
Gus Van Sant
Matt Damon, Robin Williams, Ben Affleck, Minnie Driver, Stellan Skarsgard
Will: Do you like apples?
Clark: Yeah.
Will: Well, I got her number. How do you like them apples?

1212 The Good Shepherd
Robert De Niro
Matt Damon, Angelina Jolie

1211 How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Donald Petrie
Kate Hudson, Matthew McConaughey

1210 About Schmidt
Alexander Payne
Jack Nicholson, Kathy Bates, Hope Davis, Len Cariou, Dermot Mulroney

1209 Who Framed Roger Rabbit
Robert Zemeckis
Bob Hoskins, Joanna Cassidy, Christopher Lloyd
Roger Rabbit: Not Angelo. He'd never turn me in.
Eddie Valiant: Why? Because you made him laugh?
Roger Rabbit: That's right! A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have.

1208 Scared Stiff
George Marshall
Dean Martin, Jerry Lewis, Carmen Miranda

1207 The Letter
William Wyler
Bette Davis, Herbert Marshall, James Stephenson

1206 The Fight for Life
Pare Lorentz
Myron McCormick, Storrs Haynes, Will Geer

1205 Cars 2
John Lasseter, Brad Lewis (co-director)
Owen Wilson, Larry the Cable Guy, Michael Caine, Emily Mortimer, Eddie Izzard, Jason Isaacs, Thomas Kretschmann, Joe Mantegna, Peter Jacobson, Tony Shalhoub, Guido Quaroni, Paul Dooley, John Ratzenberger, John Turturro, Jeff Gordon, Lewis Hamilton, Darrell Waltrip, Brent Musburger, David Hobbs, Bruce Campbell, John Lasseter, Franco Nero, Vanessa Redgrave, Michel Michelis, Bonnie Hunt, Cheech Marin, Jenifer Lewis, Michael Wallis, Lloyd Sherr, Sig Hansen, Jeff Garlin, Katherine Helmond

1204 The Yellow Rose of Texas
Cecil B. DeMille
Gary Cooper, Laraine Day, Signe Hasso

1203 Passage to Marseille
Jean Yarbrough
Abbott and Costello

1202 Robin and Marian
Richard Lester
Sean Connery, Audrey Hepburn

1201 Bank Shot
Gower Champion
George C. Scott, Joanna Cassidy

1200 The Philadelphia Story
George Cukor
Cary Grant, Katharine Hepburn, James Stewart

1199 Sailor Beware
Hal Walker
Dean Martin, Jerry Lewis

1198 Death Wish V: The Face of Death
Allan Goldstein
Charles Bronson, Michael Parks

1197 Mixed Nuts
Nora Ephron
Steve Martin, Madeline Kahn, Rita Wilson, Liev Schrieber, Juliette Lewis, Anthony LaPaglia, Garry Shandling, Adam Sandler

1196 Flight Command
Frank Borzage
Robert Taylor, Ruth Hussey, Walter Pidgeon

1195 Dreamgirls
Bill Condon
Jamie Foxx, Beyoncé Knowles, Eddie Murphy, Jennifer Hudson

1194 The Princess Diaries
Garry Marshall
Julie Andrews, Anne Hathaway, Heather Matarazzo, Hector Elizondo, Caroline Goodall, Mandy Moore, Erik Von Detten

1193 Beneath the 12-Mile Reef
Robert D. Webb
Robert Wagner, Terry Moore, Gilbert Roland

1192 For Your Eyes Only
John Glen
Roger Moore
James Bond: "Bond, James Bond"

1191 Adaptation
Spike Jonze
Nicolas Cage, Meryl Streep, Chris Cooper

1190 Tower Heist
Brett Ratner
Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Casey Affleck, Alan Alda, Matthew Broderick, Téa Leoni, Michael Peña, Gabourey Sidibe, Judd Hirsch

1189 Harper
Jack Smight
Paul Newman, Robert Wagner, Lauren Bacall, Janet Leigh, Julie Harris, Pamela Tiffin, Shelley Winters

1188 High Noon
Fred Zinnemann
Gary Cooper, Grace Kelly, Katy Jurado

1187 The Never Ending Story
Wolfgang Petersen
Barret Oliver, Noah Hathaway, Gerald McRaney

1186 The Naughty Nineties
Jean Yarbrough
Abbott and Costello, Alan Curtis

1185 21
Robert Luketic
Jim Sturgess, Kevin Spacey, Kate Bosworth, Laurence Fishburne

1184 Deliverance
John Boorman
Jon Voight, Burt Reynolds, Ned Beatty, Ronny Cox

1183 Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
Jonathan Mostow
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Nick Stahl, Kristanna Loken

1182 Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
Oliver Stone
Michael Douglas, Shia LaBeouf, Josh Brolin, Carey Mulligan, Eli Wallach, Susan Sarandon, Frank Langella, Vanessa Ferlito, Charlie Sheen

1181 A Chorus Line
Richard Attenborough
Michael Douglas, Audrey Landers, Janet Jones

1180 Punchline
David Seltzer
Tom Hanks, Sally Field, John Goodman

1179 A Face in the Crowd
Elia Kazan
Andy Griffith, Patricia Neal, Walter Matthau, Tony Franciosa

1178 Zoolander
Ben Stiller
Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Christine Taylor
Derek Zoolander: I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.

Hansel: What's the dealio, yo?

1177 X-Men: Days of Future Past
Bryan Singer
Hugh Jackman, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Halle Berry, Jennifer Lawrence, Ellen Page, Anna Paquin, Shawn Ashmore, Nicholas Hoult, Peter Dinklage, Ian McKellen, Patrick Stewart

1176 The Three Musketeers
Richard Lester
Oliver Reed, Michael York, Richard Chamberlain, Raquel Welch

1175 West Side Story
Robert Wise, Jerome Robbins
Richard Beymer, Natalie Wood, Rita Moreno, Russ Tamblyn, George Chakiris, Simon Oakland

1174 Lost in Alaska
Jean Yarbrough
Abbott and Costello

1173 Shag
Zelda Barron
Phoebe Cates, Bridget Fonda, Annabeth Gish, Page Hannah

1172 Diner
Barry Levinson
Mickey Rourke, Paul Reiser, Ellen Barkin, Steve Guttenberg, Kevin Bacon, Daniel Stern, Michael Tucker, Tim Daly

1171 Just Friends
Roger Kumble
Ryan Reynolds, Amy Smart, Anna Faris, Chris Klein

1170 The Ox-Bow Incident
William A. Wellman
Henry Fonda, Dana Andrews, Mary Beth Hughes, Anthony Quinn, Harry Morgan

1169 The Outfit
John Flynn
Robert Duvall, Karen Black

1168 All Dogs Go to Heaven 2
Larry Leker, Paul Sabella
Ernest Borgnine, Bebe Neuwirth, Charlie Sheen

1167 Carrie
Brian De Palma
Sissy Spacek, Piper Laurie, William Katt, Amy Irving, John Travolta

1166 Zootopia
Byron Howard/Rich Moore
Ginnifer Goodwin, Jason Bateman, Idris Elba, Jenny Slate, Nate Torrence, Tommy Chong, J. K. Simmons, Octavia Spencer, Alan Tudyk, Shakira

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